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I don't know why your sim is so fixated on the RoM shower but aside from that I'm not too sure if the club activities situation is a game issue, more so a misunderstanding. Whilst you stated in the club activities that the encouraged behaviours are singing and playing instruments, they are not the only actions that sims will carry out when in a club gathering. Sims will still continue with tending to their needs whilst in a club gathering but will gain club points when they do carry out club approved activities. At least that it my experience.
My club activities are honestly usually exploits of daily activities meaning my sims gain points for simply looking after themselves, but I do sometimes have various activities like playing football/soccer (UK/US) but that doesn't limit them to only doing those activities during a gathering. Sure they can still carry out the approved activities autonomously but if they're not doing it you can still direct them yourself.
And maybe your sim just really needed a shower? Are they neat?
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