Re: No urn when drowning
I've had a sim die of hysteria while diving at the buoy three times Every time, Grim did appear but did nothing but float there above the water. The first time, I let the game run for a full sim day and nothing changed. So I exited to the main menu without saving and reloaded the save since at that point the game would not save (Got the death in progress message). I had saved shortly before so the sim that died was still alive and I played on. What was interesting about it was that when I got my sims home, I happened to look in the household inventory and found an urn.
So, in a way, it was the best of both worlds. My sim didn't die and I got an urn so I could work on the Sugar Skulls collection for that household.
Since you said you can't use mods, then I assume you are on a console. I'm not familiar how console saves work but on PC we can recover a save that occurred earlier through the load menu by selecting the last save so it gives you the play and delete buttons. On PC it also gives a recover button. Then you select which save you want.
If you don't have the recover option, then the only thing I can recommend you try is to reload the save or an earlier one. Hopefully, you have one.
Hope this helps.
