Sim died while I was playing another lot. How to locate urn/tombstone?

I returned to a household after playing a different one and found the eldest elder missing. He appears to have died while I was on the other lot (in his wife's friends menu, he shows up gray and is labeled "deceased") but there are no tombstones or urns for him on the lot. How do I determine where he died and collect his urn/stone?

I also notice that no items from his personal inventory have been transferred to the family inventory, as they should be upon death. Is this a glitch, or does the dead Sim only bequeath their belongings to the family inventory if the family is active when they die?