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9 years ago
Act 1
Burns' Fountain
After obtaining Burns' Fountain
Auto starts
Lisa: They say if you throw a coin in the Burns Fountain and make a wish...
Lisa: ...your coin will be used to fund a pro-nuclear industry Super PAC.
Impulse Wedding Chapel
After obtaining Impulse Wedding Chapel
Auto starts
Moe: Hey, Gorgeous. What say we do something crazy and get hitched?
Miss Hoover: Eh, sure.
Moe: In that case, forget it. I refuse to marry a woman who'd have me as a husband.
Magic Milhouse XXY Pt. 1
Milhouse starts
Magic Act Milhouse: Check it out, Bart! I'm a magician!
Bart: Yeah, I can tell by the way you entered the room and everybody but me vanished.
Magic Act Milhouse: I got the idea from the other prize track about Cregg Demon.
Magic Act Milhouse: I'll be as famous as David Copperfield, as hip as Penn Gillette, and as big a ladies man as Siegfried or Roy.
Magic Act Milhouse: Now pick a card, any card.
Task: Make Magic Act Milhouse Guess the Wrong Card
Time: 4h
Location: Bart's Tree House
Magic Milhouse XXY Pt. 2
Milhouse starts
Magic Act Milhouse: I went online and bought a great prop for my magic act. The Box of Disappearance!
Bart: Start by putting yourself in it.
Magic Act Milhouse: Ha, ha. Now, observe as I open the lid. The box is empty.
Magic Act Milhouse: Now, give me something valuable, like your Krusty Klown Patrol ring.
Magic Act Milhouse: I put the ring in the box, close the lid, say Boxo-disappearicum and voila, the ring is gone.
Bart: Pretty good. Now do the part where I get the ring back.
Magic Act Milhouse: Um...
Task: Make Milhouse Try to Finish His Trick
Time: 12h
Location: Bart's Tree House
Magic Milhouse XXY Pt. 3
Milhouse starts
Magic Act Milhouse: I tell you, Bart, I cannot get my Box of Disappearance to work right.
Magic Act Milhouse: I've made my mom's earrings disappear, my dad's cellphone...
Magic Act Milhouse: But I can't figure out how to make the box give them back.
Magic Act Milhouse: I thought I figured it out last night. So I made my teeth retainer disappear.
Magic Act Milhouse: I had not figured it out.
Task: Make Magic Act Milhouse Grow Teeth in Strange Directions
Time: 24h
Location: Van Houten House
Magic Milhouse XXY Pt. 4
Milhouse starts
Snake: Hello, you've reached Springfield Penitentiary.
Magic Act Milhouse: I thought this was the phone number for the Funzo Kid Magic Prop Company.
Snake: Yeah, that's me.
Magic Act Milhouse: Well, I paid good money for your Box of Disappearance and it's not working.
Magic Act Milhouse: I disappeared all this valuable stuff into it, and I can't get any of it out.
Snake: Please accept our humble apologies.
Snake: Send us the malfunctioning box, along with all the contents, and we'll immediately send a free replacement.
Magic Act Milhouse: Free replacement? Now that's customer service!
Task: Make Magic Act Milhouse Enjoy Good Customer Service
Time: 4h
Location: Van Houten House
Magic Milhouse XXY Pt. 5
Milhouse starts
Bart: So, Milhouse, you finally got back all the things you'd disappeared into Jailbird's magic box.
Magic Act Milhouse: Yeah, my dad called the police and they searched his prison cell.
Magic Act Milhouse: I hear they roughed him up pretty bad. Nightsticks.
Bart: Well, magic and fraud... they're both about tricking people.
Bart: The only difference is, magicians get a top hat.
Task: Make Magic Act Milhouse Practice Magic
Time: 8h
Britannia Casino
After obtaining Britannia Casino
Auto starts
Carl: This casino is like taking a vacation in Britain.
Lenny: The service is slow and everyone complains about the European Union.
Raging Boob Pt. 1
Lucius Sweet starts
Lucius Sweet: I don't think I have ever seen a town this lacking in luster.
Lucius Sweet: What this place needs is the kind of uplifting spectacle that will inspire children and give parents hope.
Lucius Sweet: A very loud boxing match where someone gets seriously hurt.
Lucius Sweet: Now, who will step up to achieve fame, fortune, and a leopard-skin cape to wear into the ring?
Task: Make Lucius Sweet Advertise Reputational Magnification
Time: 8h
Location: Channel 6 or Town Hall or Moe's Tavern
Raging Boob Pt. 2
Moe starts
Moe: So, yeah, Mr. Sweet. I'd like to sign up to be your boxer.
Moe: I figure the chance at money and fame is worth the risk.
Moe: And with a face like mine, it ain't even really a risk.
Lucius Sweet: Great. I'll just need you to give me control of your bank account, income, and finances.
Moe: Really? I thought you was gonna teach me to box.
Lucius Sweet: I'm your manager. That means I manage your money. Being a great fighter must come from within you.
Lucius Sweet: Now if you'll hand me your ATM card, I'll get managing.
Task: Make Moe Train on His Own
Time: 24h
Location: Moe's Tavern
Task: Make Lucius Sweet Economicate More Hopefuls
Time: 24h
Location: National Bank of Springfield or Brown House
Raging Boob Pt. 3
Moe starts
Moe: Hey, Lucius, I've been paying through the nose here and you haven't trained me for a single session!
Lucius Sweet: Haven't I? Because of me, you're angry and angry fighters are good fighters.
Lucius Sweet: I think you're ready for your first official match!
Lucius Sweet: I've got the perfect boxer name for you: Pug Ugly.
Moe: Thanks! Ain't nobody every said I was only as ugly as a pug.
Task: Make Lucius Sweet Promote "Pug Ugly"
Time: 12h
Location: Channel 6 or Town Hall or Moe's Tavern
Raging Boob Pt. 4
Lucius Sweet starts
Lucius Sweet: Moe, your first big boxing fight is coming up soon.
Lucius Sweet: I've been watching you train, and you're as ready as you'll ever be.
Lucius Sweet: Which is why I've taken out a generous life insurance policy on you.
Lucius Sweet: After all, you want me to be well taken care of when I'm alone.
Moe: When I'm alone... Don't you mean if
Lucius Sweet: I mean what I mean.
Task: Make Moe Declare Lucius as his Insurance Beneficiary
Time: 8h
Location: Moe's Tavern
Raging Boob Pt. 5
Lucius Sweet starts
Lucius Sweet: Welcome to the boxing match of the century, which I confidently say sixteen years into the century.
Lucius Sweet: In this corner, we have the beastly brawler, Pug Ugly!
Moe: How ya doing.
Lucius Sweet: And in the other corner, Scotland's disgrace, the Glasgow Goon.
Willie: Where's the Englishman? I'll crush his bollocks! Brave Heart!
Moe: He looks tough. Who's his manager?
Lucius Sweet: Me.
Lucius Sweet: I'm the promoter, the manager, the announcer, and I sell the little stuffed Jaw-Broken Moe dolls.
Moe: Hey, a doll based on me. Can I get one?
Lucius Sweet: Absolutely. Get in line and pay like everyone else.
Task: Make Moe and Willie Box
Time: 2h
Location: Moe's Tavern
Requires: Willie
Task: Make Money No Matter What
Time: 2h
Location: Moe's Tavern
Act 2
Newark Newark
After obtaining Newark Newark Sign
Auto starts
Lenny: Wow, a casino that celebrates all that's great about New Jersey.
Carl: Yep. They have a walk-around Tony Soprano who'll overcharge you for concrete.
Lucky Casino
After obtaining Lucky Casino
Auto starts
Gil: Lucky Casino?! With a name like that, how could I lose?
Bart: What if it's the casino that's lucky?
Gil: Ol' Gil didn't get to be where he is today by using logic.
Woodstock
After obtaining Woodstock Casino
Auto starts
Lisa: Finally, a casino that captures the bold revolutionary spirit of the 1960s.
Bart: Plus performances by every washed-up half-dead rock and roll band of the 1960s.
Bart: Seriously, who the hell are Led Zeppelin?
That Old Black MagicFreek Pt. 1
Cregg Demon starts
Cregg Demon: Hey, brahs and sishes! It's Cregg Demon, master of shocktacular magic!
Cregg Demon: You ready for the insane power of the Magicfreek?
Cregg Demon: Well, sit tight. I gotta cruise 'round on the m-cycle, mass up some cool for my next "chillusion!"
Task: Make Cregg Demon Ride His Motorcycle
Time: 4h
That Old Black MagicFreek Pt. 2
Cregg Demon starts
Cregg Demon: Prepare to get straight up freaked!
Cregg Demon: For serious, I'm going to show you a magic trick so wild, it'll blow your mind!
Wiggum: Hold up, Mr. Demon. Your motorcycle taillight is out.
Wiggum: You better replace that right away, or I'm going to have to cite you.
Cregg Demon: I see. Everyone, chill-hang. I'll be back to get you straight-up freaked in half an hour.
Task: Make Craig Demon Get in Line at the Kwik-E-Mart
Time: 8h
Location: Kwik-E-Mart
That Old Black MagicFreek Pt. 3
Cregg Demon starts
Cregg Demon: Man, this line at the Kwik-E-Mart goes on forever. And I've got a show to freek.
Cregg Demon: My friend Apu, can I skip to the front of the line if I make this lady's bra disappear?
Apu: That lady is my wife! I have been married to her for ten years.
Apu: The last thing I'm interested in is seeing her without her underwear.
Task: Make Cregg Demon Make Bras Disappear
Time: 1h
Location: Brown House
That Old Black MagicFreek Pt. 4
Cregg Demon starts
Cregg Demon: Everyone's hearts working good? Cause I am about to blow some aortas with a total magicfreek.
Cregg Demon: I'm going to take a stroll... right across the top of Springfield River.
Cregg Demon: Magicfreek!
Lisa: Eh, that river's so polluted it's like sludge. A lot of us walk on top of the river.
Lisa: In summer it stiffens and we play basketball on it.
Cregg Demon: Fine. I'll go work on a new trick.
Task: Make Cregg Demon Think Bigger Than Jesus
Time: 12h
Location: Brown House
That Old Black MagicFreek Pt. 5
Cregg Demon starts
Cregg Demon: Okay, Lenny. Just lie down on your back on this bench... close your eyes...
Cregg Demon: And watch as I rip you in two!
Homer: He did it. He ripped Lenny in half at the waist. Legs here, head and body there.
Homer: I hate it when people break up. You really can only stay friends with one half.
Homer: Guess I choose Lenny's legs.
Cregg Demon: This town is very hard to impress with magicfreeks.
Lisa: Mr. Burns once blotted out the sun. Last year my family was abducted by aliens.
Lisa: We're hard to impress.
Task: Make Cregg Demon Sulk in the Brown House
Time: 24h
Location: Brown House
Act 3
Nero's Arch
After obtaining Nero's Palace Arch
Auto starts
System Message: Matching Nero's Walls now available in the Store!
Nero's Palace
After obtaining Nero's Palace
Auto starts
Lisa: How appropriate there's a casino named for a Roman emperor famed for his extravagance.
Fat Tony: It's named after my uncle Nero, famed for his eggplant parmigiana.
The Bloviator Pt. 1
Smithers starts
Reclusive Mr. Burns: Smithers, I'm bored.
Reclusive Mr. Burns: I've done everything a billionaire can.
Reclusive Mr. Burns: Dated pop stars, bought politicians, endowed museums...
Smithers: Yes, your Museum of Hatred of the Poor has the lowest attendance of any in the country.
Smithers: You haven't run for political office yet.
Reclusive Mr. Burns: And I won't. I'm a billionaire, not a self-glorifying moronic egomaniac.
Smithers: Didn't know there was a difference, sir.
Task: Make Burns Mope With Ennui
Time: 12h
Location: Burns' Casino
The Bloviator Pt. 2
Mr. Burns starts
Reclusive Mr. Burns: I've figured it out, Smithers. The one billionaire thing I've never done.
Reclusive Mr. Burns: I'm going to become an eccentric recluse, like my young friend Howard Hughes.
Smithers: He died unloved and alone, sir.
Reclusive Mr. Burns: Well, I won't make his mistake.
Reclusive Mr. Burns: I won't die.
Task: Make Reclusive Mr. Burns Fade From the Public Eye
Task: Make Smithers Deny Requests for Access
Time: 24h
Location: Burns' Casino
The Bloviator Pt. 3
Mr. Burns starts
Smithers: I've brought you the mail, sir.
Reclusive Mr. Burns: Did you clean it thoroughly? It might be infected with one of the four humors. Bile or something.
Smithers: I think you're becoming a little obsessive.
Reclusive Mr. Burns: Nonsense. Now bring me a pink napkin.
Reclusive Mr. Burns: I need to cover my genitals while I sit naked, repeatedly watching the 1968 blockbuster Ice Station Zebra.
Reclusive Mr. Burns: Yep, Howard Hughes really did that.
Task: Make Smithers Do All the Work
Task: Make Mr. Burns Watch Ice Station Zebra
Time: 12h
Location: Burns' Casino
The Bloviator Pt. 4
Mr. Burns starts
Smithers: Sir, you need to come out of this movie screening room. You have a casino and power plant to run.
Reclusive Mr. Burns: Sorry. Recluse.
Smithers: Can I at least take away some of these jars of urine?
Reclusive Mr. Burns: No! I just finished arranging them in a perfect pent-heptagon.
Reclusive Mr. Burns: You're covered in germs, Smithers. I banish you from my presence.
Reclusive Mr. Burns: From now on, I want my chicken and milk delivered by drone.
Task: Make Reclusive Burns Sink Into Obscurity
Time: 4h
Location: Burns' Casino
The Bloviator Pt. 5
Mr. Burns starts
Smithers: Mr. Burns, you can't continue to live by yourself in a darkened penthouse on top of a casino hotel.
Smithers: They need the penthouse for Pitbull.
Reclusive Mr. Burns: That chrome-dome gallimaufry? He's still a thing?
Reclusive Mr. Burns: Oh, very well. I'm starting to miss spending time with my fellow humans.
Reclusive Mr. Burns: Setting hounds on them... dropping them down trap doors...
Smithers: Yes, you're what America needs more of: billionaires messing around with us.
Task: Make Reclusive Mr. Burns Feel Sunlight on His Face
Time: 8h
Chinese Acrobatic Theatre
After obtaining Chinese Acrobatic Theatre
Auto starts
Quimby: Finally, entertainment I can get into.
Quimby: Exotic contortionism.
Quimby: Exactly how I defend my decisions as a mayor.
Heaven Won't Wait Pt. 1
Gabbo and Arthur starts
Gabbo: Well, Crandall, another triumphant performance.
Arthur: Yes, Gabbo, it's wonderful to see an audience touched by the transcendence of ventriloquism.
Arthur: We are, in reality, angels sent from heaven, commanded by God to help troubled marriages.
Kirk: Darn it, Luann, why do you always make fun of my bald spot?
Gabbo: We have found our next project.
Task: Make Gabbo Plan an Intervention
Time: 8h
Location: Orange House
Task: Make Arthur Touch Base With Heaven
Time: 24h
Location: First Church of Springfield
Heaven Won't Wait Pt. 2
Gabbo and Arthur starts
Gabbo: So let me get this straight, Crandall. We're angels sent to save Kirk and Luann's marriage.
Arthur: But God has disguised us as a ventriloquist and his dummy.
Gabbo: Not the easiest set up to work with.
Gabbo: Hey, I'm a ventriloquist's dummy. Let me solve your intimacy problems.
Arthur: Look, we were throwing around ideas, I pitched ventriloquist, God said go with it.
Arthur: You have a problem with His Ineffable Word?
Gabbo: I have no problem with His Ineffable Word.
Task: Make Gabbo Mutter Angrily To Himself
Time: 4h
Location: Orange House
Heaven Won't Wait Pt. 3
Gabbo and Arthur starts
Arthur: Pardon me, Mr. Van Houten. I know you're angry with your wife.
Arthur: But I am an angel sent to bring you and Luann back together.
Arthur: I shall show you a vision of how sad your life would be if you'd never met her.
Kirk: That'll totally work on me. But Luann...
Arthur: Don't worry. My fellow angel Gabbo is plying his powers on Luann right now.
Gabbo: So, Luann, Kirk seems like an okay dude...
Luann: Aaahh!!! Help!!! This creepy little dummy is talking!!!
Luann: Where's my taser? Where's my taser?!
Task: Make Gabbo Get Tased
Time: 1h
Location: Orange House
Heaven Won't Wait Pt. 4
Gabbo and Arthur starts
Arthur: I have succeeded in my mission as an angel, Gabbo. Kirk is once more smitten with his wife.
Arthur: I assume you've been equally successful with Luann.
Gabbo: No, Crandall, I haven't.
Gabbo: In fact, Luann tased the hell out of me.
Arthur: But we're supposed to move on to our next task! Dr. Hibbert is being handsy with his nurse.
Gabbo: Hey! I used to be an angel. Now, I'm a taser-charred lump of wood operated by a hand up my butt.
Gabbo: I don't give a crap about Dr. Hibbert's freakin' nurse!
Task: Make Gabbo Rant
Time: 8h
Location: Orange House
Heaven Won't Wait Pt. 5
Gabbo and Arthur starts
Arthur: Nice job, Gabbo. You had to go complaining about our assignment as angels.
Arthur: God's omnipresent. He's always eavesdropping. And he does not turn his other cheek to criticism.
Arthur: Now we've been demoted to angels that help cats stuck in trees.
Gabbo: Anything so we don't have to deal with those idiot Van Houtens.
Arthur: No, that job's been passed up to the top angel in the area.
Gabbo: Mr. Teeny? Well good luck to him.
Task: Make Gabbo Help Cats Stuck in Trees
Time: 24h
Location: Trees
Crafting
Life-Sized Spruce Moose
After obtaining Life-Sized Spruce Moose
Auto starts
Mr. Burns: Look at this epitome of airliner luxury!
Mr. Burns: Two furlongs long, seats 35, and each of its nineteen engines takes two days to start.
Mr. Burns: Ah, modern times.
Safari Casino
After obtaining Safari Casino
Auto starts
Krusty: They hired Mr. Teeny to do the floor show at this casino.
Krusty: For two minutes he tells them my best jokes, and then he throws poop at the audience.
Krusty: The poop-throwing gets more laughs.
Bonus Donuts
High Roller Bonus
After obtaining all Act prizes
Act 1 Task: Collect Red Chips
Act 2 Task: Collect Green Chips
Act 3 Task: Collect Blue Chips
Reward: 1/2/3 Donuts
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