I'm not a fan of the horror genre, but there is a terrible movie from the 80's called Blood Diner with a quote that has become part of the every day lexicon within my circle of friends: "Sheetar, you look good. What a set of knockers. If I only had my shlong back you'd know the meaning of machismo."
It adapts well to all of life's circumstances:
Cobb Salad, you look good. What a set of mixed greens. If I only had my shlong back you'd know the meaning of machismo.
mdfriend, you look good. What a set of Wahlberg-like features. If I only had my shlong back you'd know the meaning of machismo.
Other Springfield, you look good. What a set of tap-able buildings. If I only had my shlong back you'd know the meaning of machismo.
See how versatile that is?