The Invasion Before Christmas: Prizes and Craftables Walkthrough
Kris-Cross Pt. 1
Kang starts
Santa Kang: Urg. Why do I have to imitate this “Kris Kringle” creature for us to invade Christmas?
Santa Kang: When we were invading Halloween, I didn't have to pretend to be some kind of holiday-appropriate monster like the Great Pumpkin.
Mrs. Kodos Claus: That's because you WERE the holiday-appropriate monster.
Santa Kang: Couldn't I pretend to be the Grumple? That feels truer to me.
Mrs. Kodos Claus: Sorry, they used him up in a previous update.
Task: Make Santa Kang Be Torn Over Halloween or Christmas
Time: 8h
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Kris-Cross Pt. 2
Kang starts
Santa Kang: Okay, I'm dressed up as this cheery fatso Santa. Now what do I do?
Mrs. Kodos Claus: Well, you decide if children are naughty. If so, you give them a lump of coal.
Santa Kang: Excellent! Coal. Devastating. I'll get right to work.
Mrs. Kodos Claus: Inappropriate. Regulations state you must label most kids “nice”.
Mrs. Kodos Claus: It's like the American college system. Everyone gets at least a B.
Task: Make Santa Kang Reluctantly Label Kids “Nice”
Time: 1h
Location: Rigellian Christmas Spaceship
Santa Kang: Giving presents to everyone is exactly what's wrong with today's permissive slave societies.
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Kris-Cross Pt. 3
Kang starts
Mrs. Kodos Claus: Kang, to properly imitate Santa, you must be prepared to participate in the ritual of the mall photo opportunity.
Mrs. Kodos Claus: Pretend I am a human child, and I have just emitted a large amount of liquid protein strands onto your lap. What do you do?
Santa Kang: Devour your head and send your parents to the grit mines of Deneb VI.
Mrs. Kodos Claus: Incorrect. You say “What a cutie” and smile for the camera.
Santa Kang: Kodos, it is unseemly to throw bullpuckey at a fellow Rigellian.
Task: Make Kang Wonder How He Got Himself Into This
Time: 4h
Location: Rigellian Christmas Spaceship
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Kris-Cross Pt. 4
Kang starts
Santa Kang: Okay, I will put up with all this Santa nonsense for the glory of our conquest. Is there anything else?
Mrs. Kodos Claus: Yes, on Christmas Eve you drop down the chimney.
Santa Kang: Drop what down the chimney? Cobalt-thorium grenades? A nightmare lizard from Arcturus IX?
Mrs. Kodos Claus: Yourself and a bag of toys.
Santa Kang: You know, if people see me doing that it's going to be a little tough to persuade them I'm an overlord.
Task: Make Santa Kang Practice Going Down Chimneys
Time: 4h
Location: Rigellian Christmas Spaceship
Santa Kang: Kodos, I'm stuck in the chimney again. Do NOT post pictures to social media.
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Kris-Cross Pt. 5
Kang starts
Santa Kang: So, once I'm down the chimney, what next?
Mrs. Kodos Claus: Leave the presents. Eat the pets.
Santa Kang: This time YOU'RE wrong. I eat the COOKIES. My transformation into Santa is complete. HA HA HA!
Mrs. Kodos Claus: “Ho ho ho”, dear.
Santa Kang: Right, right. Sounds weird, but okay.
Task: Make Santa Kang Assimilate Into Winter Holidays
Time: 4h
Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP
Time to Toy Around
Kang starts
Kang: Hooray, Kodos! Now we have our OWN version of the OSHA-violating toy workshop.
Kodos: Hurry! Have them craft some cheap plastic toys that I'll get tired of in two minutes, throw away, and then pollute the oceans with!
Kang: Ha ha ha ha!
Kodos: Ha ha ha ha!
Task: Make Kang Make Cheap Toys
Time: 8h
Location: Rigellian Christmas Toy Workshop
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
On Thin Ice
Kodos starts
Kodos: Ooo, it's one of those perilous oblongs of ice that the humans enjoy breaking tailbones on. Let's go skating!
Kang: With eight tentacles, the skate rental will kill you.
Kodos: I don't want to go on the ice, I merely want to hold eight cups of cocoa.
Kang: You know, sometimes I regret bringing you to Earth.
Task: Make Kodos Hang Out at the Ice Rink
Time: 4h
Location: Ice Skating Rink
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Unbeli-Elf-Able Working Conditions Pt. 1
Worker Elves starts
Worker Elf 1: Oh, great. Soooo glad we are in this miserable little town instead of the North Pole.
Worker Elf 2: Does this count as overtime? Because I've already put in way more than my time this season.
Worker Elf 1: Nobodies like you don't get overtime. Brace your elf; Christmas is coming.
Worker Elf 2: You just lowered my elf-esteem.
Task: Make the Worker Elves Toil Long Hours
Time: 4h
Location: Brown House
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Unbeli-Elf-Able Working Conditions Pt. 2
Worker Elves starts
Santa Claus: Worker elves, what's with the sad faces?
Santa Claus: You're making toys that bring joy to girls and boys. Even without the rhyming, that's pretty good.
Worker Elf 1: Santa's right! Let's sing hip-hooray and work all night and day.
Santa Claus: And Saturday and Sunday. And the next weekend, that would be great. And the next. Don't stop singing now.
Task: Make the Worker Elves Happily Make Toys
Time: 4h
Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP
Claus-Et Homemaker Pt. 1
Kodos starts
Kang: Our invasion will only triumph if we fool the humans into thinking we are Santa and his wife.
Mrs. Kodos Claus: Must I really wear this disguise? The dress is uncomfortable and does NOT flatter my ovipositor.
Santa Kang: What is there to flatter?
Santa Kang: Joking! Please, Kodos, put away the laser blaster.
Mrs. Kodos Claus: Relax. I'm going to use it to bake some cookies. And THEN your gluteiods.
Task: Make Mrs. Kodos Claus Bake Christmas Cookies
Time: 4h
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Claus-Et Homemaker Pt. 2
Kodos starts
Mrs. Kodos Claus: My cookies were a giant triumph.
Santa Kang: For who, dentists? I broke 3 fangs on them.
Mrs. Kodos Claus: Fine, I accept defeat in the realm of baking. This homemaking magazine, however, states that cleaning the house is a way to assert your superiority over visitors.
Mrs. Kodos Claus: I shall assert my superiority!
Task: Make Mrs. Kodos Claus Attempt to Clean
Time: 4h
Location: Rigellian Christmas Spaceship
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Claus-Et Homemaker Pt. 3
Kodos starts
Mrs. Kodos Claus: I tried to clean, but I was unable to master the human technology known as “vacuum cleaner”.
Mrs. Kodos Claus: In carpet mode it set fire to the carpets and in floor mode it scratched the floor.
Santa Kang: You must persevere. You must perfectly imitate a human housewife!
Mrs. Kodos Claus: Then I shall start by getting drunk in the afternoon.
Task: Make Mrs. Kodos Claus Drink Martinis
Time: 4h
Location: Rigellian Christmas Spaceship
Task: Make Santa Kang Attempt to Sober Up Kodos
Time: 4h
Location: Rigellian Christmas Spaceship
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Claus-Et Homemaker Pt. 4
Kodos starts
Mrs. Kodos Claus: Why didn't I think of this before? I'm pretending to be married to an important businessman -- Santa Claus.
Mrs. Kodos Claus: I'll just hire a maid and have her do all the work.
Santa Kang: Domestic servants?! I'm not made of money.
Mrs. Kodos Claus: You won't be made of anything if you don't do this.
Task: Make Mrs. Kodos Claus Interview Servants
Time: 1h
Location: Rigellian Christmas Spaceship
Task: Make Kang Work Overtime
Time: 1h
Location: Rigellian Christmas Spaceship
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Claus-Et Homemaker Pt. 5
Kodos starts
Santa Kang: Kodos, this house looks fantastic. What a wonderful homemaker you've become!
Mrs. Kodos Claus: It's really all thanks to our new maid, Shauna. You just have to know how to motivate her!
Mrs. Kodos Claus: I let her and her boyfriend steal from our liquor cabinet. No harm, no foul.
Mrs. Kodos Claus: Now, let's celebrate the holidays! I decorated the house festively, with streamers, stars, and human skulls.
Santa Kang: Ooh, there's Shauna's. Nice.
Task: Make Mrs. Kodos Claus Celebrate Human Holidays
Time: 12h
Location: Rigellian Christmas Fireplace
Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP
The Gingerbread House on Lollipop Lane
Homer starts
Homer: Ooh, a Gingerbread house!
Homer: But what if it's owned by a witch who wants to fatten me up and eat me? That's a big issue with holiday-themed food houses.
Bart: Fatten you up? You already can't fit through the door.
Bart: If she tried to eat you, she'd die of cholesterol poisoning.
Homer: In that case, I've got nothing to worry about. Love how you enable my gorging, son.
Task: Tap on the Gingerbread House
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
It's Snow Trouble
Homer starts
Homer: Snowmen security guards? What's next? Sand castle bus drivers?
Lisa: Try to pretend you care about diversity. They're called “Heat-challenged Yard Figurines”.
Homer: Actually, I respect anyone who has a carrot for a nose.
Homer: If I could, I'd have hamburgers for ears.
Task: Tap on the Snowperson Security Guard
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Ginger Bread and Loving It
Homer starts
Marge: Look, Homie! Our house is made of gingerbread. Isn't it pretty?
Homer: It's certainly going to save a lot of time on midnight snacking.
Marge: Are you saying this could be a bad idea?
Homer: The Hindenburg was a “bad idea”. This is a disaster.
Task: Tap on the Gingerbread Simpsons House
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Nay Care Day Care
Marge starts
Marge: Look, Maggie! A brand-new daycare for you, with a slide that goes through the door!
Maggie: *suck suck*
Worker Elf 1: Ma'am, I'm afraid this daycare is only for elf babies. We wouldn't want your child to catch elf-pox.
Marge: But the one-eyebrow baby is in there!
Worker Elf 2: Yes, but he's half-troll.
Marge: That explains why they served billy goats gruff at his birthday party.
Task: Tap on the Elf Day Care Door
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Sutrageous Fortune Pt. 1
Gautama Buddha starts
Gautama Buddha: Lisa, you are a special little girl and a worthy acolyte. I have come to give you a lesson in dharma.
Lisa: Wow, a private lesson from Buddha! Hear that Bart?
Bart: Big deal. I've got a math tutor. When he comes over all we do is play video games.
Gautama Buddha: It's a beautiful day, so let's start with a mimosa brunch. Om Mani Padme Yum!
Task: Make Buddha Have Brunch With Unlimited Mimosas
Time: 1h
Location: Moe's Tavern
Task: Make Lisa Eat Vegan Tofu
Time: 1h
Location: Moe's Tavern
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Sutrageous Fortune Pt. 2
Gautama Buddha starts
Gautama Buddha: I feel revitalized! Poached eggs with pancetta? That's what I call a sangha, or community, of flavors.
Lisa: I've colored every placemat in the restaurant. When does my lesson start?
Gautama Buddha: Soon. But first, a visit to Mother Jeong-ja's Nail Salon. Om Mani-Pedi, Mum.
Task: Make Buddha Get His Nails Done
Time: 1h
Location: Jake's Unisex Hair Palace
Task: Make Lisa Read Salon Magazines
Time: 1h
Location: Jake's Unisex Hair Palace
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Sutrageous Fortune Pt. 3
Gautama Buddha starts
Gautama Buddha: Lisa, before we start our lesson, I need to get some new clothes. All I have is my heavy winter robes. I need something summery and enlightened.
Lisa: I guess we could stop at Costington's Big and Tall Store.
Gautama Buddha: You know what I'd like? A lovely crushed velour suit in dark purple. Om Multi-Pleated Plum.
Task: Make Buddha Splurge on Clothes
Time: 1h
Location: Brown House
Task: Make Lisa Be Dubious About This Behavior
Time: 1h
Location: Brown House
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Sutrageous Fortune Pt. 4
Gautama Buddha starts
Gautama Buddha: Now, who would know where to find a good massage therapist around here?
Cletus: I just got my massage license. XXX, like my moonshine.
Gautama Buddha: Sounds perfect. Knead the way!
Task: Make Buddha Get His Knots Worked Out
Time: 1h
Location: Brown House
Task: Make Lisa Fidget Annoyingly
Time: 1h
Location: Brown House
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Sutrageous Fortune Pt. 5
Lisa starts
Lisa: Buddha! So far all you've taught me is how to have a good time. When do the lessons start?
Gautama Buddha: Only the fool asks for knowledge she has already been given.
Lisa: It seems to me that you are completely going against the principles of Buddhism by giving into all these indulgences and material goods!
Gautama Buddha: Lisa, too often you follow only the way of self-restraint and self-mortification.
Gautama Buddha: But The Middle Way lies between ascetism and self-indulgence.
Gautama Buddha: I've taught you that, occasionally, it's good to have a good time.
Gautama Buddha: And I looked good doing it.
Task: Make Buddha Discard Material Possessions
Time: 8h
Task: Make Lisa Indulge Herself
Time: 1h
Location: Brown House
Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP
Angels We Have Heard While High Pt. 1
Otto starts
Conductor Otto: Ah, man. I'm so bummed!
Bart: Hmm, you're wearing a suit, and you look sad. Are you an undertaker?
Conductor Otto: No, I was the conductor for the dopest train in the world – the Arctic Hypertrain.
Conductor Otto: But I got fired because I forgot to pick up some kid who was supposed to have a magical holiday trip.
Conductor Otto: At the time, I was having a magical holiday trip of my own.
Task: Make Conductor Otto Self-Medicate His Sadness
Time: 1h
Location: Arctic Hypertrain
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Angels We Have Heard While High Pt. 2
Lisa starts
Lisa: Otto, is there anything you can do to get your conductor job back?
Conductor Otto: I have to prove I can teach a little kid to believe in Christmas again.
Lisa: We can help! Bart's totally cynical, but I bet we can convince him that Christmas is real.
Task: Make Conductor Otto Self-Medicate His Sadness
Time: 1h
Location: Arctic Hypertrain
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Angels We Have Heard While High Pt. 3
Lisa starts
Lisa: O.K., Conductor Otto. You have to prove you can help a kid regain his faith in Christmas. How do you start?
Conductor Otto: Uh, by understanding the problem. Bart, little dude, why don't you believe in Santa?
Bart: Because I'm ten years old, and I'm not an idiot.
Bart: I only know one fat man who delivers presents and eats cookies. He also once got his head stuck up a chimney.
Lisa: It's true. Dad heard a squirrel in the chimney, and thought it was planning to steal his nuts.
Task: Make Conductor Otto Self-Medicate His Confusion
Time: 4h
Location: Arctic Hypertrain
Task: Make Bart Doubt Christmas
Time: 4h
Location: Arctic Hypertrain
Task: Make Lisa Feel Embarrassed About Her Father
Time: 4h
Location: Arctic Hypertrain
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Angels We Have Heard While High Pt. 4
Otto starts
Conductor Otto: Okay. To convince a kid that Christmas is real, we just have to get him on the Arctic Hypertrain.
Lisa: I just wish the train wasn't coal-powered.
Lisa: I would think people at the North Pole would be more concerned about global warming.
Conductor Otto: Oh, I can turn the train green. We just use a certain kind of green fuel.
Conductor Otto: But don't breathe the fumes, little dudes. Leave that to me.
Task: Make Conductor Otto Stoke the Arctic Hypertrain's Engine
Time: 8h
Location: Arctic Hypertrain
Task: Make Lisa Ride the Arctic Hypertrain
Time: 4h
Location: Arctic Hypertrain
Task: Make Bart Ride the Arctic Hypertrain
Time: 4h
Location: Arctic Hypertrain
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Angels We Have Heard While High Pt. 5
Otto starts
Bart: “To Whom It May Concern, care of North Pole”.
Bart: “I hereby affirm that Conductor Otto and the Arctic Hypertrain have restored my faith in Christmas. I will always believe until I am old and gray”.
Bart: “However, if the bullies make fun of me, I will deny everything and act all cool and grown up”.
Conductor Otto: Thanks, little dudes. That letter is sure to get me my job back.
Lisa: If you want to get high in your career, just come to us.
Conductor Otto: Actually, I prefer to use some guys I know downtown.
Task: Make Conductor Otto Self-Medicate His Happiness
Time: 6h
Location: Arctic Hypertrain
Task: Make Lisa Self-Congratulate Her Smugness
Time: 6h
Location: Arctic Hypertrain
Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP
Kwanzaa Talk About It? Pt. 1
Dr. Hibbert starts
Homer: Hey, Dr. Hibbert, are you working this holiday? There's a good chance I'll get a turkey drumstick caught in my throat again.
Kwanzaa Dr. Hibbert: Sorry. This year I'm the Spirit of Kwanzaa.
Homer: Kwhat-za?
Kwanzaa Dr. Hibbert: It's a holiday that celebrates African heritage. There are seven principles, and the first is “umoja”, or community unity.
Homer: Oh, that's like when everyone in the community comes together to pull turkey drumsticks out of my throat.
Task: Make Kwanzaa Dr. Hibbert Teach About Kwanzaa
Time: 1h
Task: Make Homer Learn the Lesson of Umoja
Time: 1h
Location: Hibbert Family Practice
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Kwanzaa Talk About It? Pt. 2
Dr. Hibbert starts
Kwanzaa Dr. Hibbert: The next principle of Kwanzaa is “kujichagulia”, or self-determination. It instills resilience when meeting adversity.
Homer: So, like how I shouldn't give up on eating fruit-cakes, even though they taste weird and nobody likes them?
Kwanzaa Dr. Hibbert: Less thinking about preserved fruit, more thinking about oppression.
Homer: This cake oppresses me, but I will overcome.
Task: Make Kwanzaa Dr. Hibbert Teach About Kwanzaa
Time: 1h
Task: Make Homer Eat With Kujichagulia
Time: 1h
Location: Hibbert Family Practice
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Kwanzaa Talk About It? Pt. 3
Dr. Hibbert starts
Kwanzaa Dr. Hibbert: Homer, are you enjoying learning about Kwanzaa?
Homer: There's nothing I'd rather do until Moe's bar opens.
Kwanzaa Dr. Hibbert: Today's principles are about community: “ujima”, or collective responsibility, and “ujamaa”, cooperative economics.
Homer: Like how it's the community's responsibility for my high cholesterol, and they cooperate in paying for the heart bypass.
Kwanzaa Dr. Hibbert: This is about a different community. One that you're not a part of.
Homer: Is this the “No-Homers” club again?
Task: Make Kwanzaa Dr. Hibbert Teach About Kwanzaa
Time: 1h
Task: Make Homer Re-Live Traumatic Memories
Time: 1h
Location: Hibbert Family Practice
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Kwanzaa Talk About It? Pt. 4
Dr. Hibbert starts
Kwanzaa Dr. Hibbert: Homer, are you going to follow me around all week?
Homer: But I want to learn about Kwanzaa. It's either that or go home for the holidays – and Patty and Selma are there!
Kwanzaa Dr. Hibbert: Fine. Today's principles are “nia”, or purpose, and “kuumba”, or creativity. Do what you do best in your own unique way. It will instill self-worth.
Homer: Like how I'm the best at drinking!
Kwanzaa Dr. Hibbert: I have to admit, I don't see any other way you're going to find self-worth.
Task: Make Kwanzaa Dr. Hibbert Teach About Kwanzaa
Time: 1h
Task: Make Homer Be the Best at Drinking Beer
Time: 1h
Location: Hibbert Family Practice
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Kwanzaa Talk About It? Pt. 5
Dr. Hibbert starts
Kwanzaa Dr. Hibbert: O.K., Homer, you stuck with it enough to learn the most important principle of all – “imani”, or faith.
Homer: Like faith that the New England Patriots will always win no matter how far down they are at halftime?
Kwanzaa Dr. Hibbert: Well, kind of. It means faith that we African-Americans will be able to survive and thrive in American society.
Kwanzaa Dr. Hibbert: In your analogy, we're the Patriots.
Homer: That explains why most of America hates you. Dr. Hibbert, I'm glad you taught me about Kwanzaa. What can I do for you?
Kwanzaa Dr. Hibbert: Just once, don't electrocute yourself on your own Christmas lights.
Task: Make Kwanzaa Dr. Hibbert Celebrate Kwanzaa All Night
Time: 8h
Task: Make Homer Stay Woke
Time: 8h
Location: Hibbert Family Practice
Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP
The Cabin in the Redneck Woods
Cletus starts
Cletus: Ooh, lookie this! A cabin what's all Christmasy-sparkley and new, and don't smell of possum chitlins.
Brandine: I'm worried, Cletus. What's wrong with the floor?
Cletus: It's made of wood, not dirt.
Brandine: Too fancy for us, Cletus. Must be where them bears that got Goldilocks lives.
Task: Make Cletus Investigate the Christmas Cabin
Time: 4h
Location: Christmas Cabin
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
All Presents and Accounted for
Bart starts
Bart: Look, Lis! Santa's house, right here in Springfield. Wonder why.
Lisa: Guess he got a good deal. Our real estate prices have reached a new low: sub-Staten Island landfill.
Bart: Hey, how about we go inside and tidy it up for him? That's bound to solve any naughty list problems I might be having.
Lisa: And if you find any spare toys lying around...
Bart: Why, leave them right there. But make sure he knows what a good boy am I.
Task: Make Bart Tidy Santa's House
Time: 8h
Location: Santa's House
Task: Make Lisa Keep an Eye on Bart
Time: 8h
Location: Santa's House
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
A Touch of Ice-Solation Pt. 1
Jack Frost starts
Jack Frost: Springfield. A dark night in a city without a soul.
Jack Frost: I'm Jack Frost. Sure, you know me as a wee pixie who draws delicate designs in the frost on your windows.
Jack Frost: But that's just a cover for my real job: hard-boiled private detective.
Jack Frost: Jack Frost, because I frost the bad guys, put them on ice, and always stay frosty.
Jack Frost: Somewhere tonight, there's a beautiful woman or down-on-his-luck loser who needs a private gumshoe. I actually wear sparkle boots, but you get the idea.
Task: Make Jack Frost Wait for Clients
Time: 1h
Location: Candy Cave
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
A Touch of Ice-Solation Pt. 2
Jack Frost starts
Jack Frost: It's a story I've heard a thousand times. Sap loves his missus...but maybe she don't love him.
Kirk: Luann is spending a lot of time at Tae Kwan Do... and the instructor is pretty hunky.
Jack Frost: Thousand bucks a day plus expenses. I go through a lot of hair gel.
Kirk: How do you solve cases anyway?
Jack Frost: I peep through windows. Anyone busts me, I just say I'm making a pretty frosty picture.
Task: Make Jack Frost Investigate
Time: 4h
Location: Brown House
Jack Frost: Your wife's pulled the wool over your eyes, Van Houten.
Jack Frost: She says she's doing Tae Kwon Do, but she's actually at the Italian market eating sugared fried dough.
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
A Touch of Ice-Solation Pt. 3
Jack Frost starts
Marge: Homer, there's someone peeping in the window!
Homer: It's Jack Frost! What's the big idea, pixie stick?
Jack Frost: It's okay. I'm a private detective.
Homer: Yeah? Who are you working for?
Jack Frost: Uh...no one.
Marge: So, you're just peeping.
Task: Make Jack Frost Explain Himself to the Police
Time: 4h
Location: Brown House
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
A Touch of Ice-Solation Pt. 4
Jack Frost starts
Jack Frost: You don't like private eyes, do you Chief Wiggum?
Wiggum: Us cops do things by the book. You can't even read.
Jack Frost: It's not my fault pixie school stops at grade two. Say, can I borrow your donut?
Wiggum: Wow, you're making pictures out of the frosting. Nice!
Task: Make Jack Frost Decorate Donuts
Time: 1h
Location: Brown House
Wiggum: You're all right, Jack Frost. But do me a favor...no more private eye stuff. And can you frost these donuts, too?
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
A Touch of Ice-Solation Pt. 5
Jack Frost starts
Jack Frost: It's a lonely life for a private shamus, in a town where God is just another three-letter word.
Jack Frost: ‘Course, the only savior I believe in is named Daniels, first name Jack.
Jack Frost: I'm the one guy nobody wants… until you desperately need me.
Jack Frost: So enjoy your holiday, but I'll be on the job. ‘Cause evil never takes a vacation.
Jack Frost: And also this is the best time for frosting windows.
Task: Make Jack Frost Enjoy His Nihilism
Time: 12h
Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP
Here Comes Santa's Independent Clauses Pt. 1
Santa Claus starts
Santa Claus: Huzzah! Everything is ready for Christmas, and I can take a much-needed break.
Santa Claus: Where should I start, though? Hot stone massage at the Elf Spa? Play poker with my pal Wayne Gretzky?
Santa Claus: Nah, Gretzky's too good. Plus every time he wins he yells “I am the Great One”!
Santa Claus: I know! I'll practice my platform diving. Hope I still fit into my speedo after all those milk and cookies.
Task: Make Santa Claus Avoid Toy Production
Time: 4h
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Here Comes Santa's Independent Clauses Pt. 2
Santa Claus starts
Santa Claus: Hmm, I'm not getting much rotation on my dives. Need to stretch out my quads.
Worker Elf 1: Santa! It's terrible! The stable door fell off. Rudolph's fine, but all of the other reindeer… gone!
Santa Claus: Olive the other reindeer is gone! MY PRECIOUS OLIVE IS MISSING?!
Worker Elf 1: No, sir, not “Olive”, “All of”.
Santa Claus: Stop babbling! What do you mean, “not Olive, Olive”? Let's get looking!
Task: Make Santa Claus Find Missing Reindeer
Time: 4h
Location: Santa's House or Brown House
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Here Comes Santa's Independent Clauses Pt. 3
Santa Claus starts
Santa Claus: Well, we never found Olive the other reindeer. But we got all of the other reindeer back.
Santa Claus: Now, back to my diving practice.
Worker Elf 1: Bad news, sir. Someone hacked our computers, and put all the naughty kids on the nice list.
Worker Elf 1: His handle was Elbarto42. We think he's Russian.
Santa Claus: So I have to go classify all the kids again?! *sighs* Hand me my red pen.
Task: Make Santa Claus Make His List and Check It Thrice
Time: 8h
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Here Comes Santa's Independent Clauses Pt. 4
Santa Claus starts
Santa Claus: Okay, got all the bad kids back on the naughty list. Now to try the reverse somersault pike again. Last time I split my speedo crotch.
Snow Monster: Santa! Jack Frost insult me. Call me “Abdominable Snowman”.
Jack Frost: I thought you liked being called Abominable.
Snow Monster: Yes. Me Abominable. But you say “Abdominable”. You mean me fat!
Santa Claus: Oh brother, it's Crummy versus Dummy.
Task: Make Santa Claus Mediate
Time: 4h
Location: Santa's House or Brown House
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Here Comes Santa's Independent Clauses Pt. 5
Santa Claus starts
Santa Claus: Wow, it's tough to be Santa. Everyone needs me for something.
Santa Claus: So, who's next to interrupt my diving practice?
Santa Claus: Anyone? No? Really. No one needs my help?
Santa Claus: Ah well, I'm too tired for swimming. I only put this thong on for Mrs.Claus anyway.
Santa Claus: Hon, you busy?
Task: Make Santa Claus Pose for His Wife
Time: 4h
Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP
Kang starts
Santa Kang: Urg. Why do I have to imitate this “Kris Kringle” creature for us to invade Christmas?
Santa Kang: When we were invading Halloween, I didn't have to pretend to be some kind of holiday-appropriate monster like the Great Pumpkin.
Mrs. Kodos Claus: That's because you WERE the holiday-appropriate monster.
Santa Kang: Couldn't I pretend to be the Grumple? That feels truer to me.
Mrs. Kodos Claus: Sorry, they used him up in a previous update.
Task: Make Santa Kang Be Torn Over Halloween or Christmas
Time: 8h
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Kris-Cross Pt. 2
Kang starts
Santa Kang: Okay, I'm dressed up as this cheery fatso Santa. Now what do I do?
Mrs. Kodos Claus: Well, you decide if children are naughty. If so, you give them a lump of coal.
Santa Kang: Excellent! Coal. Devastating. I'll get right to work.
Mrs. Kodos Claus: Inappropriate. Regulations state you must label most kids “nice”.
Mrs. Kodos Claus: It's like the American college system. Everyone gets at least a B.
Task: Make Santa Kang Reluctantly Label Kids “Nice”
Time: 1h
Location: Rigellian Christmas Spaceship
Santa Kang: Giving presents to everyone is exactly what's wrong with today's permissive slave societies.
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Kris-Cross Pt. 3
Kang starts
Mrs. Kodos Claus: Kang, to properly imitate Santa, you must be prepared to participate in the ritual of the mall photo opportunity.
Mrs. Kodos Claus: Pretend I am a human child, and I have just emitted a large amount of liquid protein strands onto your lap. What do you do?
Santa Kang: Devour your head and send your parents to the grit mines of Deneb VI.
Mrs. Kodos Claus: Incorrect. You say “What a cutie” and smile for the camera.
Santa Kang: Kodos, it is unseemly to throw bullpuckey at a fellow Rigellian.
Task: Make Kang Wonder How He Got Himself Into This
Time: 4h
Location: Rigellian Christmas Spaceship
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Kris-Cross Pt. 4
Kang starts
Santa Kang: Okay, I will put up with all this Santa nonsense for the glory of our conquest. Is there anything else?
Mrs. Kodos Claus: Yes, on Christmas Eve you drop down the chimney.
Santa Kang: Drop what down the chimney? Cobalt-thorium grenades? A nightmare lizard from Arcturus IX?
Mrs. Kodos Claus: Yourself and a bag of toys.
Santa Kang: You know, if people see me doing that it's going to be a little tough to persuade them I'm an overlord.
Task: Make Santa Kang Practice Going Down Chimneys
Time: 4h
Location: Rigellian Christmas Spaceship
Santa Kang: Kodos, I'm stuck in the chimney again. Do NOT post pictures to social media.
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Kris-Cross Pt. 5
Kang starts
Santa Kang: So, once I'm down the chimney, what next?
Mrs. Kodos Claus: Leave the presents. Eat the pets.
Santa Kang: This time YOU'RE wrong. I eat the COOKIES. My transformation into Santa is complete. HA HA HA!
Mrs. Kodos Claus: “Ho ho ho”, dear.
Santa Kang: Right, right. Sounds weird, but okay.
Task: Make Santa Kang Assimilate Into Winter Holidays
Time: 4h
Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP
Time to Toy Around
Kang starts
Kang: Hooray, Kodos! Now we have our OWN version of the OSHA-violating toy workshop.
Kodos: Hurry! Have them craft some cheap plastic toys that I'll get tired of in two minutes, throw away, and then pollute the oceans with!
Kang: Ha ha ha ha!
Kodos: Ha ha ha ha!
Task: Make Kang Make Cheap Toys
Time: 8h
Location: Rigellian Christmas Toy Workshop
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
On Thin Ice
Kodos starts
Kodos: Ooo, it's one of those perilous oblongs of ice that the humans enjoy breaking tailbones on. Let's go skating!
Kang: With eight tentacles, the skate rental will kill you.
Kodos: I don't want to go on the ice, I merely want to hold eight cups of cocoa.
Kang: You know, sometimes I regret bringing you to Earth.
Task: Make Kodos Hang Out at the Ice Rink
Time: 4h
Location: Ice Skating Rink
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Unbeli-Elf-Able Working Conditions Pt. 1
Worker Elves starts
Worker Elf 1: Oh, great. Soooo glad we are in this miserable little town instead of the North Pole.
Worker Elf 2: Does this count as overtime? Because I've already put in way more than my time this season.
Worker Elf 1: Nobodies like you don't get overtime. Brace your elf; Christmas is coming.
Worker Elf 2: You just lowered my elf-esteem.
Task: Make the Worker Elves Toil Long Hours
Time: 4h
Location: Brown House
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Unbeli-Elf-Able Working Conditions Pt. 2
Worker Elves starts
Santa Claus: Worker elves, what's with the sad faces?
Santa Claus: You're making toys that bring joy to girls and boys. Even without the rhyming, that's pretty good.
Worker Elf 1: Santa's right! Let's sing hip-hooray and work all night and day.
Santa Claus: And Saturday and Sunday. And the next weekend, that would be great. And the next. Don't stop singing now.
Task: Make the Worker Elves Happily Make Toys
Time: 4h
Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP
Claus-Et Homemaker Pt. 1
Kodos starts
Kang: Our invasion will only triumph if we fool the humans into thinking we are Santa and his wife.
Mrs. Kodos Claus: Must I really wear this disguise? The dress is uncomfortable and does NOT flatter my ovipositor.
Santa Kang: What is there to flatter?
Santa Kang: Joking! Please, Kodos, put away the laser blaster.
Mrs. Kodos Claus: Relax. I'm going to use it to bake some cookies. And THEN your gluteiods.
Task: Make Mrs. Kodos Claus Bake Christmas Cookies
Time: 4h
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Claus-Et Homemaker Pt. 2
Kodos starts
Mrs. Kodos Claus: My cookies were a giant triumph.
Santa Kang: For who, dentists? I broke 3 fangs on them.
Mrs. Kodos Claus: Fine, I accept defeat in the realm of baking. This homemaking magazine, however, states that cleaning the house is a way to assert your superiority over visitors.
Mrs. Kodos Claus: I shall assert my superiority!
Task: Make Mrs. Kodos Claus Attempt to Clean
Time: 4h
Location: Rigellian Christmas Spaceship
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Claus-Et Homemaker Pt. 3
Kodos starts
Mrs. Kodos Claus: I tried to clean, but I was unable to master the human technology known as “vacuum cleaner”.
Mrs. Kodos Claus: In carpet mode it set fire to the carpets and in floor mode it scratched the floor.
Santa Kang: You must persevere. You must perfectly imitate a human housewife!
Mrs. Kodos Claus: Then I shall start by getting drunk in the afternoon.
Task: Make Mrs. Kodos Claus Drink Martinis
Time: 4h
Location: Rigellian Christmas Spaceship
Task: Make Santa Kang Attempt to Sober Up Kodos
Time: 4h
Location: Rigellian Christmas Spaceship
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Claus-Et Homemaker Pt. 4
Kodos starts
Mrs. Kodos Claus: Why didn't I think of this before? I'm pretending to be married to an important businessman -- Santa Claus.
Mrs. Kodos Claus: I'll just hire a maid and have her do all the work.
Santa Kang: Domestic servants?! I'm not made of money.
Mrs. Kodos Claus: You won't be made of anything if you don't do this.
Task: Make Mrs. Kodos Claus Interview Servants
Time: 1h
Location: Rigellian Christmas Spaceship
Task: Make Kang Work Overtime
Time: 1h
Location: Rigellian Christmas Spaceship
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Claus-Et Homemaker Pt. 5
Kodos starts
Santa Kang: Kodos, this house looks fantastic. What a wonderful homemaker you've become!
Mrs. Kodos Claus: It's really all thanks to our new maid, Shauna. You just have to know how to motivate her!
Mrs. Kodos Claus: I let her and her boyfriend steal from our liquor cabinet. No harm, no foul.
Mrs. Kodos Claus: Now, let's celebrate the holidays! I decorated the house festively, with streamers, stars, and human skulls.
Santa Kang: Ooh, there's Shauna's. Nice.
Task: Make Mrs. Kodos Claus Celebrate Human Holidays
Time: 12h
Location: Rigellian Christmas Fireplace
Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP
The Gingerbread House on Lollipop Lane
Homer starts
Homer: Ooh, a Gingerbread house!
Homer: But what if it's owned by a witch who wants to fatten me up and eat me? That's a big issue with holiday-themed food houses.
Bart: Fatten you up? You already can't fit through the door.
Bart: If she tried to eat you, she'd die of cholesterol poisoning.
Homer: In that case, I've got nothing to worry about. Love how you enable my gorging, son.
Task: Tap on the Gingerbread House
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
It's Snow Trouble
Homer starts
Homer: Snowmen security guards? What's next? Sand castle bus drivers?
Lisa: Try to pretend you care about diversity. They're called “Heat-challenged Yard Figurines”.
Homer: Actually, I respect anyone who has a carrot for a nose.
Homer: If I could, I'd have hamburgers for ears.
Task: Tap on the Snowperson Security Guard
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Ginger Bread and Loving It
Homer starts
Marge: Look, Homie! Our house is made of gingerbread. Isn't it pretty?
Homer: It's certainly going to save a lot of time on midnight snacking.
Marge: Are you saying this could be a bad idea?
Homer: The Hindenburg was a “bad idea”. This is a disaster.
Task: Tap on the Gingerbread Simpsons House
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Nay Care Day Care
Marge starts
Marge: Look, Maggie! A brand-new daycare for you, with a slide that goes through the door!
Maggie: *suck suck*
Worker Elf 1: Ma'am, I'm afraid this daycare is only for elf babies. We wouldn't want your child to catch elf-pox.
Marge: But the one-eyebrow baby is in there!
Worker Elf 2: Yes, but he's half-troll.
Marge: That explains why they served billy goats gruff at his birthday party.
Task: Tap on the Elf Day Care Door
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Sutrageous Fortune Pt. 1
Gautama Buddha starts
Gautama Buddha: Lisa, you are a special little girl and a worthy acolyte. I have come to give you a lesson in dharma.
Lisa: Wow, a private lesson from Buddha! Hear that Bart?
Bart: Big deal. I've got a math tutor. When he comes over all we do is play video games.
Gautama Buddha: It's a beautiful day, so let's start with a mimosa brunch. Om Mani Padme Yum!
Task: Make Buddha Have Brunch With Unlimited Mimosas
Time: 1h
Location: Moe's Tavern
Task: Make Lisa Eat Vegan Tofu
Time: 1h
Location: Moe's Tavern
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Sutrageous Fortune Pt. 2
Gautama Buddha starts
Gautama Buddha: I feel revitalized! Poached eggs with pancetta? That's what I call a sangha, or community, of flavors.
Lisa: I've colored every placemat in the restaurant. When does my lesson start?
Gautama Buddha: Soon. But first, a visit to Mother Jeong-ja's Nail Salon. Om Mani-Pedi, Mum.
Task: Make Buddha Get His Nails Done
Time: 1h
Location: Jake's Unisex Hair Palace
Task: Make Lisa Read Salon Magazines
Time: 1h
Location: Jake's Unisex Hair Palace
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Sutrageous Fortune Pt. 3
Gautama Buddha starts
Gautama Buddha: Lisa, before we start our lesson, I need to get some new clothes. All I have is my heavy winter robes. I need something summery and enlightened.
Lisa: I guess we could stop at Costington's Big and Tall Store.
Gautama Buddha: You know what I'd like? A lovely crushed velour suit in dark purple. Om Multi-Pleated Plum.
Task: Make Buddha Splurge on Clothes
Time: 1h
Location: Brown House
Task: Make Lisa Be Dubious About This Behavior
Time: 1h
Location: Brown House
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Sutrageous Fortune Pt. 4
Gautama Buddha starts
Gautama Buddha: Now, who would know where to find a good massage therapist around here?
Cletus: I just got my massage license. XXX, like my moonshine.
Gautama Buddha: Sounds perfect. Knead the way!
Task: Make Buddha Get His Knots Worked Out
Time: 1h
Location: Brown House
Task: Make Lisa Fidget Annoyingly
Time: 1h
Location: Brown House
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Sutrageous Fortune Pt. 5
Lisa starts
Lisa: Buddha! So far all you've taught me is how to have a good time. When do the lessons start?
Gautama Buddha: Only the fool asks for knowledge she has already been given.
Lisa: It seems to me that you are completely going against the principles of Buddhism by giving into all these indulgences and material goods!
Gautama Buddha: Lisa, too often you follow only the way of self-restraint and self-mortification.
Gautama Buddha: But The Middle Way lies between ascetism and self-indulgence.
Gautama Buddha: I've taught you that, occasionally, it's good to have a good time.
Gautama Buddha: And I looked good doing it.
Task: Make Buddha Discard Material Possessions
Time: 8h
Task: Make Lisa Indulge Herself
Time: 1h
Location: Brown House
Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP
Angels We Have Heard While High Pt. 1
Otto starts
Conductor Otto: Ah, man. I'm so bummed!
Bart: Hmm, you're wearing a suit, and you look sad. Are you an undertaker?
Conductor Otto: No, I was the conductor for the dopest train in the world – the Arctic Hypertrain.
Conductor Otto: But I got fired because I forgot to pick up some kid who was supposed to have a magical holiday trip.
Conductor Otto: At the time, I was having a magical holiday trip of my own.
Task: Make Conductor Otto Self-Medicate His Sadness
Time: 1h
Location: Arctic Hypertrain
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Angels We Have Heard While High Pt. 2
Lisa starts
Lisa: Otto, is there anything you can do to get your conductor job back?
Conductor Otto: I have to prove I can teach a little kid to believe in Christmas again.
Lisa: We can help! Bart's totally cynical, but I bet we can convince him that Christmas is real.
Task: Make Conductor Otto Self-Medicate His Sadness
Time: 1h
Location: Arctic Hypertrain
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Angels We Have Heard While High Pt. 3
Lisa starts
Lisa: O.K., Conductor Otto. You have to prove you can help a kid regain his faith in Christmas. How do you start?
Conductor Otto: Uh, by understanding the problem. Bart, little dude, why don't you believe in Santa?
Bart: Because I'm ten years old, and I'm not an idiot.
Bart: I only know one fat man who delivers presents and eats cookies. He also once got his head stuck up a chimney.
Lisa: It's true. Dad heard a squirrel in the chimney, and thought it was planning to steal his nuts.
Task: Make Conductor Otto Self-Medicate His Confusion
Time: 4h
Location: Arctic Hypertrain
Task: Make Bart Doubt Christmas
Time: 4h
Location: Arctic Hypertrain
Task: Make Lisa Feel Embarrassed About Her Father
Time: 4h
Location: Arctic Hypertrain
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Angels We Have Heard While High Pt. 4
Otto starts
Conductor Otto: Okay. To convince a kid that Christmas is real, we just have to get him on the Arctic Hypertrain.
Lisa: I just wish the train wasn't coal-powered.
Lisa: I would think people at the North Pole would be more concerned about global warming.
Conductor Otto: Oh, I can turn the train green. We just use a certain kind of green fuel.
Conductor Otto: But don't breathe the fumes, little dudes. Leave that to me.
Task: Make Conductor Otto Stoke the Arctic Hypertrain's Engine
Time: 8h
Location: Arctic Hypertrain
Task: Make Lisa Ride the Arctic Hypertrain
Time: 4h
Location: Arctic Hypertrain
Task: Make Bart Ride the Arctic Hypertrain
Time: 4h
Location: Arctic Hypertrain
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Angels We Have Heard While High Pt. 5
Otto starts
Bart: “To Whom It May Concern, care of North Pole”.
Bart: “I hereby affirm that Conductor Otto and the Arctic Hypertrain have restored my faith in Christmas. I will always believe until I am old and gray”.
Bart: “However, if the bullies make fun of me, I will deny everything and act all cool and grown up”.
Conductor Otto: Thanks, little dudes. That letter is sure to get me my job back.
Lisa: If you want to get high in your career, just come to us.
Conductor Otto: Actually, I prefer to use some guys I know downtown.
Task: Make Conductor Otto Self-Medicate His Happiness
Time: 6h
Location: Arctic Hypertrain
Task: Make Lisa Self-Congratulate Her Smugness
Time: 6h
Location: Arctic Hypertrain
Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP
Kwanzaa Talk About It? Pt. 1
Dr. Hibbert starts
Homer: Hey, Dr. Hibbert, are you working this holiday? There's a good chance I'll get a turkey drumstick caught in my throat again.
Kwanzaa Dr. Hibbert: Sorry. This year I'm the Spirit of Kwanzaa.
Homer: Kwhat-za?
Kwanzaa Dr. Hibbert: It's a holiday that celebrates African heritage. There are seven principles, and the first is “umoja”, or community unity.
Homer: Oh, that's like when everyone in the community comes together to pull turkey drumsticks out of my throat.
Task: Make Kwanzaa Dr. Hibbert Teach About Kwanzaa
Time: 1h
Task: Make Homer Learn the Lesson of Umoja
Time: 1h
Location: Hibbert Family Practice
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Kwanzaa Talk About It? Pt. 2
Dr. Hibbert starts
Kwanzaa Dr. Hibbert: The next principle of Kwanzaa is “kujichagulia”, or self-determination. It instills resilience when meeting adversity.
Homer: So, like how I shouldn't give up on eating fruit-cakes, even though they taste weird and nobody likes them?
Kwanzaa Dr. Hibbert: Less thinking about preserved fruit, more thinking about oppression.
Homer: This cake oppresses me, but I will overcome.
Task: Make Kwanzaa Dr. Hibbert Teach About Kwanzaa
Time: 1h
Task: Make Homer Eat With Kujichagulia
Time: 1h
Location: Hibbert Family Practice
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Kwanzaa Talk About It? Pt. 3
Dr. Hibbert starts
Kwanzaa Dr. Hibbert: Homer, are you enjoying learning about Kwanzaa?
Homer: There's nothing I'd rather do until Moe's bar opens.
Kwanzaa Dr. Hibbert: Today's principles are about community: “ujima”, or collective responsibility, and “ujamaa”, cooperative economics.
Homer: Like how it's the community's responsibility for my high cholesterol, and they cooperate in paying for the heart bypass.
Kwanzaa Dr. Hibbert: This is about a different community. One that you're not a part of.
Homer: Is this the “No-Homers” club again?
Task: Make Kwanzaa Dr. Hibbert Teach About Kwanzaa
Time: 1h
Task: Make Homer Re-Live Traumatic Memories
Time: 1h
Location: Hibbert Family Practice
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Kwanzaa Talk About It? Pt. 4
Dr. Hibbert starts
Kwanzaa Dr. Hibbert: Homer, are you going to follow me around all week?
Homer: But I want to learn about Kwanzaa. It's either that or go home for the holidays – and Patty and Selma are there!
Kwanzaa Dr. Hibbert: Fine. Today's principles are “nia”, or purpose, and “kuumba”, or creativity. Do what you do best in your own unique way. It will instill self-worth.
Homer: Like how I'm the best at drinking!
Kwanzaa Dr. Hibbert: I have to admit, I don't see any other way you're going to find self-worth.
Task: Make Kwanzaa Dr. Hibbert Teach About Kwanzaa
Time: 1h
Task: Make Homer Be the Best at Drinking Beer
Time: 1h
Location: Hibbert Family Practice
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Kwanzaa Talk About It? Pt. 5
Dr. Hibbert starts
Kwanzaa Dr. Hibbert: O.K., Homer, you stuck with it enough to learn the most important principle of all – “imani”, or faith.
Homer: Like faith that the New England Patriots will always win no matter how far down they are at halftime?
Kwanzaa Dr. Hibbert: Well, kind of. It means faith that we African-Americans will be able to survive and thrive in American society.
Kwanzaa Dr. Hibbert: In your analogy, we're the Patriots.
Homer: That explains why most of America hates you. Dr. Hibbert, I'm glad you taught me about Kwanzaa. What can I do for you?
Kwanzaa Dr. Hibbert: Just once, don't electrocute yourself on your own Christmas lights.
Task: Make Kwanzaa Dr. Hibbert Celebrate Kwanzaa All Night
Time: 8h
Task: Make Homer Stay Woke
Time: 8h
Location: Hibbert Family Practice
Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP
The Cabin in the Redneck Woods
Cletus starts
Cletus: Ooh, lookie this! A cabin what's all Christmasy-sparkley and new, and don't smell of possum chitlins.
Brandine: I'm worried, Cletus. What's wrong with the floor?
Cletus: It's made of wood, not dirt.
Brandine: Too fancy for us, Cletus. Must be where them bears that got Goldilocks lives.
Task: Make Cletus Investigate the Christmas Cabin
Time: 4h
Location: Christmas Cabin
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
All Presents and Accounted for
Bart starts
Bart: Look, Lis! Santa's house, right here in Springfield. Wonder why.
Lisa: Guess he got a good deal. Our real estate prices have reached a new low: sub-Staten Island landfill.
Bart: Hey, how about we go inside and tidy it up for him? That's bound to solve any naughty list problems I might be having.
Lisa: And if you find any spare toys lying around...
Bart: Why, leave them right there. But make sure he knows what a good boy am I.
Task: Make Bart Tidy Santa's House
Time: 8h
Location: Santa's House
Task: Make Lisa Keep an Eye on Bart
Time: 8h
Location: Santa's House
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
A Touch of Ice-Solation Pt. 1
Jack Frost starts
Jack Frost: Springfield. A dark night in a city without a soul.
Jack Frost: I'm Jack Frost. Sure, you know me as a wee pixie who draws delicate designs in the frost on your windows.
Jack Frost: But that's just a cover for my real job: hard-boiled private detective.
Jack Frost: Jack Frost, because I frost the bad guys, put them on ice, and always stay frosty.
Jack Frost: Somewhere tonight, there's a beautiful woman or down-on-his-luck loser who needs a private gumshoe. I actually wear sparkle boots, but you get the idea.
Task: Make Jack Frost Wait for Clients
Time: 1h
Location: Candy Cave
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
A Touch of Ice-Solation Pt. 2
Jack Frost starts
Jack Frost: It's a story I've heard a thousand times. Sap loves his missus...but maybe she don't love him.
Kirk: Luann is spending a lot of time at Tae Kwan Do... and the instructor is pretty hunky.
Jack Frost: Thousand bucks a day plus expenses. I go through a lot of hair gel.
Kirk: How do you solve cases anyway?
Jack Frost: I peep through windows. Anyone busts me, I just say I'm making a pretty frosty picture.
Task: Make Jack Frost Investigate
Time: 4h
Location: Brown House
Jack Frost: Your wife's pulled the wool over your eyes, Van Houten.
Jack Frost: She says she's doing Tae Kwon Do, but she's actually at the Italian market eating sugared fried dough.
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
A Touch of Ice-Solation Pt. 3
Jack Frost starts
Marge: Homer, there's someone peeping in the window!
Homer: It's Jack Frost! What's the big idea, pixie stick?
Jack Frost: It's okay. I'm a private detective.
Homer: Yeah? Who are you working for?
Jack Frost: Uh...no one.
Marge: So, you're just peeping.
Task: Make Jack Frost Explain Himself to the Police
Time: 4h
Location: Brown House
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
A Touch of Ice-Solation Pt. 4
Jack Frost starts
Jack Frost: You don't like private eyes, do you Chief Wiggum?
Wiggum: Us cops do things by the book. You can't even read.
Jack Frost: It's not my fault pixie school stops at grade two. Say, can I borrow your donut?
Wiggum: Wow, you're making pictures out of the frosting. Nice!
Task: Make Jack Frost Decorate Donuts
Time: 1h
Location: Brown House
Wiggum: You're all right, Jack Frost. But do me a favor...no more private eye stuff. And can you frost these donuts, too?
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
A Touch of Ice-Solation Pt. 5
Jack Frost starts
Jack Frost: It's a lonely life for a private shamus, in a town where God is just another three-letter word.
Jack Frost: ‘Course, the only savior I believe in is named Daniels, first name Jack.
Jack Frost: I'm the one guy nobody wants… until you desperately need me.
Jack Frost: So enjoy your holiday, but I'll be on the job. ‘Cause evil never takes a vacation.
Jack Frost: And also this is the best time for frosting windows.
Task: Make Jack Frost Enjoy His Nihilism
Time: 12h
Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP
Here Comes Santa's Independent Clauses Pt. 1
Santa Claus starts
Santa Claus: Huzzah! Everything is ready for Christmas, and I can take a much-needed break.
Santa Claus: Where should I start, though? Hot stone massage at the Elf Spa? Play poker with my pal Wayne Gretzky?
Santa Claus: Nah, Gretzky's too good. Plus every time he wins he yells “I am the Great One”!
Santa Claus: I know! I'll practice my platform diving. Hope I still fit into my speedo after all those milk and cookies.
Task: Make Santa Claus Avoid Toy Production
Time: 4h
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Here Comes Santa's Independent Clauses Pt. 2
Santa Claus starts
Santa Claus: Hmm, I'm not getting much rotation on my dives. Need to stretch out my quads.
Worker Elf 1: Santa! It's terrible! The stable door fell off. Rudolph's fine, but all of the other reindeer… gone!
Santa Claus: Olive the other reindeer is gone! MY PRECIOUS OLIVE IS MISSING?!
Worker Elf 1: No, sir, not “Olive”, “All of”.
Santa Claus: Stop babbling! What do you mean, “not Olive, Olive”? Let's get looking!
Task: Make Santa Claus Find Missing Reindeer
Time: 4h
Location: Santa's House or Brown House
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Here Comes Santa's Independent Clauses Pt. 3
Santa Claus starts
Santa Claus: Well, we never found Olive the other reindeer. But we got all of the other reindeer back.
Santa Claus: Now, back to my diving practice.
Worker Elf 1: Bad news, sir. Someone hacked our computers, and put all the naughty kids on the nice list.
Worker Elf 1: His handle was Elbarto42. We think he's Russian.
Santa Claus: So I have to go classify all the kids again?! *sighs* Hand me my red pen.
Task: Make Santa Claus Make His List and Check It Thrice
Time: 8h
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Here Comes Santa's Independent Clauses Pt. 4
Santa Claus starts
Santa Claus: Okay, got all the bad kids back on the naughty list. Now to try the reverse somersault pike again. Last time I split my speedo crotch.
Snow Monster: Santa! Jack Frost insult me. Call me “Abdominable Snowman”.
Jack Frost: I thought you liked being called Abominable.
Snow Monster: Yes. Me Abominable. But you say “Abdominable”. You mean me fat!
Santa Claus: Oh brother, it's Crummy versus Dummy.
Task: Make Santa Claus Mediate
Time: 4h
Location: Santa's House or Brown House
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Here Comes Santa's Independent Clauses Pt. 5
Santa Claus starts
Santa Claus: Wow, it's tough to be Santa. Everyone needs me for something.
Santa Claus: So, who's next to interrupt my diving practice?
Santa Claus: Anyone? No? Really. No one needs my help?
Santa Claus: Ah well, I'm too tired for swimming. I only put this thong on for Mrs.Claus anyway.
Santa Claus: Hon, you busy?
Task: Make Santa Claus Pose for His Wife
Time: 4h
Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP
