A Colony For Ants Pt. 1Auto starts
Quimby: It is with great excitement and a profound sense of honoring my calendar that I attend the opening of this... thing.
Barry: It's a model of Exploration, Incorporated's Mars habitat! In every detail, it's just like the real thing!
Apu: People are going to be living in THAT? The kitchen doesn't even have an island! My gods, there's no home theater!
Paul: It's no McMansion, that's for sure. But it's got everything our intrepid pioneers will need as they colonize a new world!
Homer: I'm pretty sure even pioneers need a hot tub. Where the hell are they supposed to soak away their cares? Answer me that, geniuses.
Paul: Luxurious, it's not. I will grant you that. But the spirit of adventure will--
Homer: Let's call it what it is -- a dump! There's zero flow, the ceilings can't be more than seven feet, and I see no molding, crown or otherwise.
Homer: If that's the future, count me out!
Task: Make Homer Mock Mars
Time: 6s
Location: Mars Colony
On job start:
Homer: I mean how can you live on Mars, if you can't even fit in the hab?
Homer: You could probably fit a puppy in there, though. Like a cute, little future science-y playpen.
Homer: I mean... what a sham.
A Colony For Ants Pt. 2Auto starts
Barry: We need to “sexy” up this hab model. The modern, fatso astronaut just isn't impressed by yesterday's design compromises.
Paul: We should emphasize our Mars mission's greatest strength -- partnership with some of America's most exciting brands!
Paul: We're talking Mega-Charge Batteries, Draft-Pigs-dot-com, even Fig Glutens! How's THAT for sexy?
Barry: We'll sell ad space in the hab, then use the money to add all kinds of ludicrous, over-the-top luxury features.
Paul: I love it. I am SLIGHTLY worried that making this colony a complete fiction will lessen its ability to accurately depict life on Mars.
Barry: It's a fine line, but I'm confident we can walk it.
Paul: I am, too. I just wanted to hear you say it. Okay, let's start digging a hole for the Olympic-sized swimming pool.
Task: Upgrade the Mars Colony
Task: Make Homer Mock But Secretly Love Mars
Time: 3h
Location: Mars Colony
On Homer job end:
System Message: Keep signing corporate sponsors and watch the Mars Colony blossom into a fully commercialized “educational” exhibit!
10 Leagues Under SquidportAuto starts
Sea Captain: Arr, a yellow submersible. An old first-mate and I used to sing our love of submersibles which be yellow.
Sea Captain: Then one day, he gathered up our lyrics and chord changes and dashed off to Liverpool, England.
Sea Captain: I wonder whatever became of him and those music publishing rights.
Task: Reach Level 15 and Build Squidport
Task: Make Old Sea Captain Reminisce
Time: 30m
Location: Squidport Entrance
Task: Send Yellow Submersible Down Under
Time: 24h
Sea Captain: The yellow submersible found something, it did! Let's see what we got!
Sea Captain: I didn't think anything was down there except the bodies of the many, many men I've killed.
System Message: You technically found it, so finders keepers! Keep sending the Yellow Submersible on missions and see what it finds!
Has a 24 hours job to Dive for Booty that has a chance to find a Squidport or Ornate Pier tile, even if you can't build anymore! The maximum Boardwalk tiles that can be in inventory is 400 or the inventory will glitch them so you can't place them. Pier tiles has no limit.
Is There Life On Mars?After completing Space is Hot Right Now Pt. 3
Number 51 starts
Brockman: As the Directors of Exploration, Incorporated's Mars Colony, can you comment on the possibility of life on Mars?
Paul: Kent, we don't expect to find any life on the Red Planet.
Number 51: Phew. My ancient race has escaped detection by Earthlings once more.
Barry: If there IS any life on Mars, it is no doubt far too small and stupid to pose a threat, however feeble, to mankind.
Barry: We would probably just walk up to this weakling Martian race and point off into the distance, like we saw something interesting there.
Barry: Then, when the gullible Martian stupidly turns to look where we are pointing, we'll knock it cold with a single punch.
Paul: All our simulations of first contact with any Martian intelligence confirm this is exactly how it will go down.
Paul: They're idiots, Kent. And we're taking their planet from them, and there's nothing they can do about it.
Number 51: Okay, well now it's personal.
Task: Make Number 51 Try to Prove His Existence
Time: 6h
Location: Exploration Inc.
