Time Traveling Toaster: Act 1 Walkthrough
The Time Traveler's Wife Pt. 2
Auto starts
Homer: Hey look! There's a new fat, bald loser in town. What's your name, you obvious idiot?
Future Homer: I'm you, Homer, from the future! I come with a warning of utmost importance!
Homer: Alright, pal, keep my pants on. What's the ruckus? And why the orange skin?
Future Homer: Never mind that. You will soon forget your anniversary, but it is imperative that you not travel back in time to fix it.
Homer: Why not just warn me to remember my anniversary?
Future Homer: Yeah, that makes way more sense! Man, I used to be SMART.
Homer: I'll make an anniversary gift for Marge. That way, it's free. All it costs is my time, which is completely worthless.
https://tstotopix.files.wordpress.com/2017/05/homersworkbench_menu.png?w=150
Task: Build Homer's Workbench
Homer: I will not rest until I've made the most amazing, heart-warming gift an anniversary has ever seen.
Homer: Man, planning to make something is hard work.
Homer: I think I'll take a rest.
It's About Time Pt. 1
Auto starts
Homer: *SHRIEK!* I missed my anniversary! I've got to travel back in time and remind myself!
Lisa: Isn't that EXACTLY what Future You said not to do?
Homer: I've never liked Future Me. One day there'll be something about this guy I just didn't trust back now.
Lisa: I suppose there's no harm in helping you try something impossible like time travel. I've got texts on advanced astrophysics, cosmology--
Bart: OR we could binge watch movies about time travel. “Time-Priest”, “Bad Physicists”, and “Medical Intern Strange” are personal favorites.
Task: Make Homer Marathon Time Travel Movies
Time: 6s
Location: Simpson House
Homer: Hollywood has taught me a valuable lesson: thinking about how time travel works is hard, so let's just make it up as we go! C'mon, gang!
It's About Time Pt. 2
Auto starts
Professor Frink: Beware, Homer Simpson! You tamper with the very fabric of spacetime!
Homer: Yeah. So?
Professor Frink: Well... most people would consider that bad. With the PARADOXES and the BUTTERFLY EFFECTS and the OH, NOW I'M MY OWN DAD.
Homer: Shut up and help me find my time traveling toaster. I think it's packed with the rest of the Halloween junk.
Professor Frink: A time traveling toaster? That's the most preposterous thing I've ever heard! Now, my time traveling panini press on the other hand...
Task: Make Homer Travel Back in Time
Time: 6s
Location: Simpson House
On job start during Act 1:
Homer: I've gone back in time millions of years! I can tell I'm still in Springfield, though.
Homer: The dinosaurs here all talk about how they're going to leave this provincial backwater one day, but you know they never will.
On job start during Act 2:
Homer: Uh-oh. I appear to have overshot my time travel -- I'm in Ancient Egypt!
Homer: Which, conveniently and for the purposes of this update, sat in the same location as modern-day Springfield!
On job start during Act 3:
Homer: Water everywhere... a storyline that seems hastily thrown-together and nonsensical... oh no, I'm in Waterworld!!!
Homer: Or, I've traveled back to pirate times. Oh please let it be murderous pirates and not Tin Cup with gills...
On job end:
Homer: What gives?! I wanted to go back just to my anniversary, not centuries ago!
Professor Frink: I'll remember your minor quibble when I'm dancing around, clad only in my Nobel Prize medal.
It's About Time Pt. 3
Auto starts
Homer: I think I'll trust my time traveling needs to my faithful old toaster. Here's your panini press back, Mr. Mad Scientist.
Professor Frink: I am not MAD, I simply-- What in glayvin have you done to my invention?!
Homer: Made a gloopy sandwich in it. And for the record, you do sound pretty mad right now.
Lisa: Dad, are you sure you should be meddling with time?
Homer: Probably not. Still gonna, though.
Task: Make Homer Meddle With Time
Time: 6s
Location: Homer's Workbench
https://tstotopix.files.wordpress.com/2017/05/ttt-event-guide.png?w=300
Homer: I collected so much cool stuff in the past, but none of it survived the journey back. What gives, stupid spacetime continuum?
Professor Frink: The only material objects that survive the journey are clothes. Because the alternative is too horrible to consider.
If in act 1:
Lisa: Uh, Dad, I think you forgot to close the time door behind you!
If in act 2:
Homer: What the heck is papyri?
Lisa: It's the plural of papyrus.
Homer: What the heck is papyrus?! I'm just gonna collect these pieces of paper instead.
Cloudy With a Chance of Sprinkles
Homer starts
Homer: Donuts, falling from the sky? Finally, an ironic outcome of time travel that ISN'T cruel and unusual!
Homer: Kids, tilt your heads up and open your donut holes – it's raining diabetes!
System Message: Enjoy 15 free donuts and for a limited time, get Golden Scratch-Rs with your donut purchases!
Quest reward: 15 Donuts
Buried in Time Pt. 1
Auto starts
Homer: Brainstorm -- if I take stuff I find in the past and bury it, it'll be there for me to dig up in the present! Pretty smart, eh, Lisa?
Lisa: Well, no. You're still changing the past, with unpredictable implications for our current timeline.
Homer: Let's try that again. Past-bury-now-dig-up-woo-hoo. Pretty smart, eh, Barney?
Barney: REALLY smart, Homer!
Lisa: ...
Task: Build the Excavation Site
https://tstotopix.files.wordpress.com/2017/05/excavation-site-2.png?w=150
Task: Unearth a Hidden Gem
Lisa: Moral quandaries aside, I DO love unearthing ancient relics. I feel like Howard Carter discovering King Tut's tomb!
Homer: Or Steve Martin discovering King Tut's song!
Quest reward: 50 Event Currency and 10 XP
Buried in Time Pt. 2
Auto starts
Lisa: Groundskeeper Willie, we need more shovels to continue the excavation. Can we borrow some of yours?
Willie: My shovels are nae for digging, lass. These pieces are for my Springfield Shovel Museum. Opening Spring, 2035. Possibly Summer, 2035.
Lisa: Does anyone really want to look at old shovels?
Willie: Many of these shovels are priceless! In the sense they have no price, being utterly worthless.
Lisa: Well, I suppose we could buy some new shovels. As long as we don't invite in one of those huge national hardware chain stores.
https://tstotopix.files.wordpress.com/2017/05/momandpophardware_menu.png?w=150
Task: Build Mom & Pop Hardware
Task: Send Excavators to Acquire Shovels
Lisa: Do you think the name “Mom & Pop Hardware” might be just a tad misleading?
Lindsey Naegle: It better be! Global Dynamics, parent company of M&PH, certainly paid the advertising company enough to come up with it.
Quest reward: 50 Event Currency and 10 XP
It's About Time Pt. 4
Auto starts
Homer: Hey, Frink, you fixed your panini press! It has sort of a lame “steampunk” vibe now.
Professor Frink: Yes, well, I had a lot of brass gauges sitting around. Purely accidental, of course.
Homer: Then why are you wearing aviator goggles?
Professor Frink: All right, I admit it. I... I still think steampunk is cool. Anyway, I've altered the press to collect errant tachyons released by your temporal meddling.
Homer: Ha ha! I'm sorry, but the nerd thinks a briefly-interesting subgenre from decades ago is still cool!
https://tstotopix.files.wordpress.com/2017/05/panini-press-screen.png?w=300
Task: Place the Panini Press
Professor Frink: Schrödinger's cat! What was that gigantic explosion?
Homer: Your stupid sandwich machine keeps breaking every time a sandwich gets made on it.
Professor Frink: It's not for cooking on you imbecile!
Lisa: Look! The tachyon emission blasted everyone back to their rightful time period.
Homer: Once again, I have, through stupendous carelessness, solved all the problems I created with my inconceivable incompetence. You. Are. Welcome.
Quest reward: 50 Event Currency and 10 XP
Chaos Theory
Auto starts
Quimby: You've done it this time, you time-garbling nitwits! That blast just flooded every other Springfield with unwelcome visitors!
Homer: Zombies!
Quimby: Zombies aren't real.
Homer: Neither is time travel, yet here we are.
Quimby: You made this mess, you can tap your way out of it.
Task: Tap Time Invaders in a Friend's Town
Homer: Ahhhh, I'm a great neighbor...
Ned: Homer, if you must dump your trash in my yard, well, okay. But do you have to go to the trouble of carrying it to my front door?
Homer: ...such a great neighbor...
Quest reward: 50 Event Currency and 10 XP
It's About Time Pt. 5
Auto starts
Hollis Hurlbut: Homer, perhaps you would consider donating these ancient artifacts to found a Springsonian History Museum?
Homer: Hmmm... there's a lot of money in the museum game...
Hollis Hurlbut: Well, no. It would be purely non-profit.
Homer: Hmmm... there's a lot of money in the non-profit game...
Hollis Hurlbut: No. There's none.
Homer: Hmmm... there's a lot in none...
https://tstotopix.files.wordpress.com/2017/05/ttt-crafting-screen.png?w=300
Task: Build the Springsonian Museum
Wise Guy: Hey pally, those are some nice specimens. I could "disappear" a few things from the ol' exhibits here. We could make some good “money”.
Homer: Isn't that stealing?
Wise Guy: It ain't "stealing" so long as you use air quotes.
Homer: Oh, right. I "understand".
Quest reward: 500 Specimens and 10 XP
It's About Time Pt. 6
Auto starts
Homer: Marge, I'm sorry I forgot our anniversary. But this time I've got a solid excuse, involving time travel.
Marge: Do I know you, sir?
Artie Ziff: I'm Artie Ziff! And I would like to know what you are saying to this woman, Mrs. Artie Ziff!
Homer: Oh, no! I've messed up the spacetime continuum, and now Marge is married to Artie Ziff!
Artie Ziff: “Spacetime continuum”? I think you mean the “when-where thingamabob”, which is what we call it in THIS thingamabob, thank you very much.
Task: Make Homer Check if He's Disappeared From Photos
Time: 4h
Location: Simpson House
Lisa: Dad? What are you doing home at this hour?
Bart: Yeah, you don't get off work at the donut factory until seven.
Homer: Okay, I may have lost Marge, but at least I still have my kids and what sounds like a way better job. But wait -- who's your mother?
Amber Simpson: Hello, my tubby hubby!
Homer: Augh! Vegas Marge!
Quest reward: 100 Event Currency and 20 XP
Land of the Lard Pt. 1
Homer starts
Homer: What could I possibly have done to make Marge fall for a billionaire like Artie, instead of a worthless drunk like me?
Lisa: I'm assuming that in your timeline, the Lisa that's your daughter warned you not to alter the past.
Homer: That's why I love you, Lisa. In any universe, you're a shameless nag.
Lisa: Two things: first, Other Me told you so. Nah-nah-nah. And second, whatever tiny change you made to history, there has to be a way to undo it.
Homer: Then I won't quit until I've set things aright. Or enough time has passed that I don't seem like too bad a guy for giving up!
Task: Make Homer Unchange the Future
Time: 4h
Location: Homer's Workbench
On job start:
Homer: I've located the caveman most likely to be Artie's ancestor. But how to be sure...?
Artie Ziff: I'm Caveman Ziff!
Homer: Now all I gotta do is figure out how to stop him from ever having offspring, and modern-day Artie just disappears!
Homer: This is the nicest form of murder I've ever come up with. What a good guy I am!
On job end:
Homer: Hey, Caveman Ziff! Where are all the other men? How come you stay at the cave all day, alone with the women?
Artie Ziff: Well, those troglodytes consider me a shameful weakling, unfit to join the clan's hunting party.
Artie Ziff: So I am left here... all day... alone with their wives... When you're the only available man, it hardly matters HOW pitiable you are.
Homer: Your very pathetic-ness is your greatest strength. Fascinating!
Artie Ziff: Thank you!
Quest reward: 850 Event Currency and 20 XP
Land of the Lard Pt. 2
Homer starts
Homer: I need to show the cave ladies Artie is too big a coward to mate with. No matter HOW desperate they are. Bart, I need firecrackers.
Bart: I don't have any firecrackers.
Homer: You're not in trouble, I will pay you. Please, tell me or else, and I love you.
Bart: All good reasons. Second drawer.
Task: Make Homer Set Off Firecrackers
Time: 4h
Location: Homer's Workbench
On job start:
Homer: Look! Look, Neander-babes! See how Caveman Ziff cowers from the fiery explosions!
On job end:
Artie Ziff: Behold, ladies! I have created fire! Tremble at my extreme desirability!
Homer: D'oh!
Quest reward: 850 Event Currency and 20 XP
Land of the Lard Pt. 3
Homer starts
Homer: Lisa, if you needed to outsmart a primitive cave-person raised in an environment of complete ignorance, what would YOU do?
Lisa: You're smarter than a caveman. You've just got to be.
Homer: I know! I'll crush him with a rock!
Lisa: I take that back.
Homer: I suppose I could get him drunk. Expose him to our modern, high-tech alcohols. Let him make a fool of himself.
Lisa: How needlessly complex. Give it a shot!
Task: Make Homer Leave a Keg for Caveman Artie
Time: 4h
Location: Homer's Workbench
Homer: Hey, idiot! You're supposed to DRINK from the keg, not roll it around!
Artie Ziff: Behold, women! Caveman Ziff has another amazing invention. First, fire. Now, the wheel! Swoon at my greatness!
Homer: At this rate, I'll return to a world populated entirely by Artie Ziffs.
Quest reward: 850 Event Currency and 20 XP
Land of the Lard Pt. 4
Homer starts
Homer: You know what they say: if at first you don't succeed, and at second you suck even worse, go back to the first idea you had, but do it bigger.
Homer: Hey, Professor! What's the biggest explosion you can whip up in ten minutes or less?
Professor Frink: What's the rush? You DO have access to a time machine. Glayvin.
Homer: I don't see your point. Chop chop!
Professor Frink: All righty. I WAS going to provide you with a small nuclear device, but owing to your profound and obvious imbecility, just take this rocket.
Professor Frink: Now leave me alone. Have fun destroying something.
Task: Make Homer Fire a Rocket
Time: 4h
Location: Homer's Workbench
On job start:
Homer: Behold, Cave honeys! Caveman Ziff, a very ugly and puny man, has meddled with the forces of nature, and now the gods are pissed!
Homer: Let's see... how do you set this rocket off...?
Homer: ...
Homer: Uh, oh.
On job end:
Homer: So, good news: I don't think Caveman Ziff is too popular with the ladies anymore. Bad news: we now know what wiped out the wooly mammoths.
Homer: And that all the saber-toothed tigers were crushed beneath falling wooly mammoths.
System Message: The story will continue in Act 2. Keep collecting Fossils and Hidden Gems to get more prizes!
Quest reward: 2.050 Event Currency and 20 XP
Auto starts
Homer: Hey look! There's a new fat, bald loser in town. What's your name, you obvious idiot?
Future Homer: I'm you, Homer, from the future! I come with a warning of utmost importance!
Homer: Alright, pal, keep my pants on. What's the ruckus? And why the orange skin?
Future Homer: Never mind that. You will soon forget your anniversary, but it is imperative that you not travel back in time to fix it.
Homer: Why not just warn me to remember my anniversary?
Future Homer: Yeah, that makes way more sense! Man, I used to be SMART.
Homer: I'll make an anniversary gift for Marge. That way, it's free. All it costs is my time, which is completely worthless.
https://tstotopix.files.wordpress.com/2017/05/homersworkbench_menu.png?w=150
Task: Build Homer's Workbench
Homer: I will not rest until I've made the most amazing, heart-warming gift an anniversary has ever seen.
Homer: Man, planning to make something is hard work.
Homer: I think I'll take a rest.
It's About Time Pt. 1
Auto starts
Homer: *SHRIEK!* I missed my anniversary! I've got to travel back in time and remind myself!
Lisa: Isn't that EXACTLY what Future You said not to do?
Homer: I've never liked Future Me. One day there'll be something about this guy I just didn't trust back now.
Lisa: I suppose there's no harm in helping you try something impossible like time travel. I've got texts on advanced astrophysics, cosmology--
Bart: OR we could binge watch movies about time travel. “Time-Priest”, “Bad Physicists”, and “Medical Intern Strange” are personal favorites.
Task: Make Homer Marathon Time Travel Movies
Time: 6s
Location: Simpson House
Homer: Hollywood has taught me a valuable lesson: thinking about how time travel works is hard, so let's just make it up as we go! C'mon, gang!
It's About Time Pt. 2
Auto starts
Professor Frink: Beware, Homer Simpson! You tamper with the very fabric of spacetime!
Homer: Yeah. So?
Professor Frink: Well... most people would consider that bad. With the PARADOXES and the BUTTERFLY EFFECTS and the OH, NOW I'M MY OWN DAD.
Homer: Shut up and help me find my time traveling toaster. I think it's packed with the rest of the Halloween junk.
Professor Frink: A time traveling toaster? That's the most preposterous thing I've ever heard! Now, my time traveling panini press on the other hand...
Task: Make Homer Travel Back in Time
Time: 6s
Location: Simpson House
On job start during Act 1:
Homer: I've gone back in time millions of years! I can tell I'm still in Springfield, though.
Homer: The dinosaurs here all talk about how they're going to leave this provincial backwater one day, but you know they never will.
On job start during Act 2:
Homer: Uh-oh. I appear to have overshot my time travel -- I'm in Ancient Egypt!
Homer: Which, conveniently and for the purposes of this update, sat in the same location as modern-day Springfield!
On job start during Act 3:
Homer: Water everywhere... a storyline that seems hastily thrown-together and nonsensical... oh no, I'm in Waterworld!!!
Homer: Or, I've traveled back to pirate times. Oh please let it be murderous pirates and not Tin Cup with gills...
On job end:
Homer: What gives?! I wanted to go back just to my anniversary, not centuries ago!
Professor Frink: I'll remember your minor quibble when I'm dancing around, clad only in my Nobel Prize medal.
It's About Time Pt. 3
Auto starts
Homer: I think I'll trust my time traveling needs to my faithful old toaster. Here's your panini press back, Mr. Mad Scientist.
Professor Frink: I am not MAD, I simply-- What in glayvin have you done to my invention?!
Homer: Made a gloopy sandwich in it. And for the record, you do sound pretty mad right now.
Lisa: Dad, are you sure you should be meddling with time?
Homer: Probably not. Still gonna, though.
Task: Make Homer Meddle With Time
Time: 6s
Location: Homer's Workbench
https://tstotopix.files.wordpress.com/2017/05/ttt-event-guide.png?w=300
Homer: I collected so much cool stuff in the past, but none of it survived the journey back. What gives, stupid spacetime continuum?
Professor Frink: The only material objects that survive the journey are clothes. Because the alternative is too horrible to consider.
If in act 1:
Lisa: Uh, Dad, I think you forgot to close the time door behind you!
If in act 2:
Homer: What the heck is papyri?
Lisa: It's the plural of papyrus.
Homer: What the heck is papyrus?! I'm just gonna collect these pieces of paper instead.
Cloudy With a Chance of Sprinkles
Homer starts
Homer: Donuts, falling from the sky? Finally, an ironic outcome of time travel that ISN'T cruel and unusual!
Homer: Kids, tilt your heads up and open your donut holes – it's raining diabetes!
System Message: Enjoy 15 free donuts and for a limited time, get Golden Scratch-Rs with your donut purchases!
Quest reward: 15 Donuts
Buried in Time Pt. 1
Auto starts
Homer: Brainstorm -- if I take stuff I find in the past and bury it, it'll be there for me to dig up in the present! Pretty smart, eh, Lisa?
Lisa: Well, no. You're still changing the past, with unpredictable implications for our current timeline.
Homer: Let's try that again. Past-bury-now-dig-up-woo-hoo. Pretty smart, eh, Barney?
Barney: REALLY smart, Homer!
Lisa: ...
Task: Build the Excavation Site
https://tstotopix.files.wordpress.com/2017/05/excavation-site-2.png?w=150Task: Unearth a Hidden Gem
Lisa: Moral quandaries aside, I DO love unearthing ancient relics. I feel like Howard Carter discovering King Tut's tomb!
Homer: Or Steve Martin discovering King Tut's song!
Quest reward: 50 Event Currency and 10 XP
Buried in Time Pt. 2
Auto starts
Lisa: Groundskeeper Willie, we need more shovels to continue the excavation. Can we borrow some of yours?
Willie: My shovels are nae for digging, lass. These pieces are for my Springfield Shovel Museum. Opening Spring, 2035. Possibly Summer, 2035.
Lisa: Does anyone really want to look at old shovels?
Willie: Many of these shovels are priceless! In the sense they have no price, being utterly worthless.
Lisa: Well, I suppose we could buy some new shovels. As long as we don't invite in one of those huge national hardware chain stores.
https://tstotopix.files.wordpress.com/2017/05/momandpophardware_menu.png?w=150
Task: Build Mom & Pop Hardware
Task: Send Excavators to Acquire Shovels
Lisa: Do you think the name “Mom & Pop Hardware” might be just a tad misleading?
Lindsey Naegle: It better be! Global Dynamics, parent company of M&PH, certainly paid the advertising company enough to come up with it.
Quest reward: 50 Event Currency and 10 XP
It's About Time Pt. 4
Auto starts
Homer: Hey, Frink, you fixed your panini press! It has sort of a lame “steampunk” vibe now.
Professor Frink: Yes, well, I had a lot of brass gauges sitting around. Purely accidental, of course.
Homer: Then why are you wearing aviator goggles?
Professor Frink: All right, I admit it. I... I still think steampunk is cool. Anyway, I've altered the press to collect errant tachyons released by your temporal meddling.
Homer: Ha ha! I'm sorry, but the nerd thinks a briefly-interesting subgenre from decades ago is still cool!
https://tstotopix.files.wordpress.com/2017/05/panini-press-screen.png?w=300Task: Place the Panini Press
Professor Frink: Schrödinger's cat! What was that gigantic explosion?
Homer: Your stupid sandwich machine keeps breaking every time a sandwich gets made on it.
Professor Frink: It's not for cooking on you imbecile!
Lisa: Look! The tachyon emission blasted everyone back to their rightful time period.
Homer: Once again, I have, through stupendous carelessness, solved all the problems I created with my inconceivable incompetence. You. Are. Welcome.
Quest reward: 50 Event Currency and 10 XP
Chaos Theory
Auto starts
Quimby: You've done it this time, you time-garbling nitwits! That blast just flooded every other Springfield with unwelcome visitors!
Homer: Zombies!
Quimby: Zombies aren't real.
Homer: Neither is time travel, yet here we are.
Quimby: You made this mess, you can tap your way out of it.
Task: Tap Time Invaders in a Friend's Town
Homer: Ahhhh, I'm a great neighbor...
Ned: Homer, if you must dump your trash in my yard, well, okay. But do you have to go to the trouble of carrying it to my front door?
Homer: ...such a great neighbor...
Quest reward: 50 Event Currency and 10 XP
It's About Time Pt. 5
Auto starts
Hollis Hurlbut: Homer, perhaps you would consider donating these ancient artifacts to found a Springsonian History Museum?
Homer: Hmmm... there's a lot of money in the museum game...
Hollis Hurlbut: Well, no. It would be purely non-profit.
Homer: Hmmm... there's a lot of money in the non-profit game...
Hollis Hurlbut: No. There's none.
Homer: Hmmm... there's a lot in none...
https://tstotopix.files.wordpress.com/2017/05/ttt-crafting-screen.png?w=300Task: Build the Springsonian Museum
Wise Guy: Hey pally, those are some nice specimens. I could "disappear" a few things from the ol' exhibits here. We could make some good “money”.
Homer: Isn't that stealing?
Wise Guy: It ain't "stealing" so long as you use air quotes.
Homer: Oh, right. I "understand".
Quest reward: 500 Specimens and 10 XP
It's About Time Pt. 6
Auto starts
Homer: Marge, I'm sorry I forgot our anniversary. But this time I've got a solid excuse, involving time travel.
Marge: Do I know you, sir?
Artie Ziff: I'm Artie Ziff! And I would like to know what you are saying to this woman, Mrs. Artie Ziff!
Homer: Oh, no! I've messed up the spacetime continuum, and now Marge is married to Artie Ziff!
Artie Ziff: “Spacetime continuum”? I think you mean the “when-where thingamabob”, which is what we call it in THIS thingamabob, thank you very much.
Task: Make Homer Check if He's Disappeared From Photos
Time: 4h
Location: Simpson House
Lisa: Dad? What are you doing home at this hour?
Bart: Yeah, you don't get off work at the donut factory until seven.
Homer: Okay, I may have lost Marge, but at least I still have my kids and what sounds like a way better job. But wait -- who's your mother?
Amber Simpson: Hello, my tubby hubby!
Homer: Augh! Vegas Marge!
Quest reward: 100 Event Currency and 20 XP
Land of the Lard Pt. 1
Homer starts
Homer: What could I possibly have done to make Marge fall for a billionaire like Artie, instead of a worthless drunk like me?
Lisa: I'm assuming that in your timeline, the Lisa that's your daughter warned you not to alter the past.
Homer: That's why I love you, Lisa. In any universe, you're a shameless nag.
Lisa: Two things: first, Other Me told you so. Nah-nah-nah. And second, whatever tiny change you made to history, there has to be a way to undo it.
Homer: Then I won't quit until I've set things aright. Or enough time has passed that I don't seem like too bad a guy for giving up!
Task: Make Homer Unchange the Future
Time: 4h
Location: Homer's Workbench
On job start:
Homer: I've located the caveman most likely to be Artie's ancestor. But how to be sure...?
Artie Ziff: I'm Caveman Ziff!
Homer: Now all I gotta do is figure out how to stop him from ever having offspring, and modern-day Artie just disappears!
Homer: This is the nicest form of murder I've ever come up with. What a good guy I am!
On job end:
Homer: Hey, Caveman Ziff! Where are all the other men? How come you stay at the cave all day, alone with the women?
Artie Ziff: Well, those troglodytes consider me a shameful weakling, unfit to join the clan's hunting party.
Artie Ziff: So I am left here... all day... alone with their wives... When you're the only available man, it hardly matters HOW pitiable you are.
Homer: Your very pathetic-ness is your greatest strength. Fascinating!
Artie Ziff: Thank you!
Quest reward: 850 Event Currency and 20 XP
Land of the Lard Pt. 2
Homer starts
Homer: I need to show the cave ladies Artie is too big a coward to mate with. No matter HOW desperate they are. Bart, I need firecrackers.
Bart: I don't have any firecrackers.
Homer: You're not in trouble, I will pay you. Please, tell me or else, and I love you.
Bart: All good reasons. Second drawer.
Task: Make Homer Set Off Firecrackers
Time: 4h
Location: Homer's Workbench
On job start:
Homer: Look! Look, Neander-babes! See how Caveman Ziff cowers from the fiery explosions!
On job end:
Artie Ziff: Behold, ladies! I have created fire! Tremble at my extreme desirability!
Homer: D'oh!
Quest reward: 850 Event Currency and 20 XP
Land of the Lard Pt. 3
Homer starts
Homer: Lisa, if you needed to outsmart a primitive cave-person raised in an environment of complete ignorance, what would YOU do?
Lisa: You're smarter than a caveman. You've just got to be.
Homer: I know! I'll crush him with a rock!
Lisa: I take that back.
Homer: I suppose I could get him drunk. Expose him to our modern, high-tech alcohols. Let him make a fool of himself.
Lisa: How needlessly complex. Give it a shot!
Task: Make Homer Leave a Keg for Caveman Artie
Time: 4h
Location: Homer's Workbench
Homer: Hey, idiot! You're supposed to DRINK from the keg, not roll it around!
Artie Ziff: Behold, women! Caveman Ziff has another amazing invention. First, fire. Now, the wheel! Swoon at my greatness!
Homer: At this rate, I'll return to a world populated entirely by Artie Ziffs.
Quest reward: 850 Event Currency and 20 XP
Land of the Lard Pt. 4
Homer starts
Homer: You know what they say: if at first you don't succeed, and at second you suck even worse, go back to the first idea you had, but do it bigger.
Homer: Hey, Professor! What's the biggest explosion you can whip up in ten minutes or less?
Professor Frink: What's the rush? You DO have access to a time machine. Glayvin.
Homer: I don't see your point. Chop chop!
Professor Frink: All righty. I WAS going to provide you with a small nuclear device, but owing to your profound and obvious imbecility, just take this rocket.
Professor Frink: Now leave me alone. Have fun destroying something.
Task: Make Homer Fire a Rocket
Time: 4h
Location: Homer's Workbench
On job start:
Homer: Behold, Cave honeys! Caveman Ziff, a very ugly and puny man, has meddled with the forces of nature, and now the gods are pissed!
Homer: Let's see... how do you set this rocket off...?
Homer: ...
Homer: Uh, oh.
On job end:
Homer: So, good news: I don't think Caveman Ziff is too popular with the ladies anymore. Bad news: we now know what wiped out the wooly mammoths.
Homer: And that all the saber-toothed tigers were crushed beneath falling wooly mammoths.
System Message: The story will continue in Act 2. Keep collecting Fossils and Hidden Gems to get more prizes!
Quest reward: 2.050 Event Currency and 20 XP
