Settings difference in invitationals

I’m trying to play invitationals with my mate (new racer). Whenever we try one my simulation settings are relaxed with no damage, auto starts etc. But hers is all set to realistic with damage on etc. makes it unfun for us trying to get her used to the game but crashing out. These settings aren’t able to be changed. I know some invitationals override certain settings but the simulation settings make no sense to be so different. Any solutions?