You're quite right, I wrote this quite early after buying the game somewhere in november. A bit too soon.
I had trouble defending in allstar eventhough the numbers where there with the rookie/first be a pro season on nhl24 finally ending with 80 goals 102 assists 182 poins in 82 games.
Now I'm after 40 games on superstar at 74 goals 59 assist and 133 points for the second season. Of course the player skill stats have improved but I've adjusted and learned much in the way you mentioned as well. Somehow though, superstar has felt easier to play than allstar when it comes to defense.
Hitting instead of the poke-check and better positioning defense-wise was a game changer, eventhough the ice sometimes still comes across tilted.
Particularly there seems to be a connection to the SOG-ratio between the teams that at some point makes scoring for a team much more likely.