My Status Shows a Blue Lightning Bolt

I'm having a problem connecting with my one friend on BF2042.  We are friends on ea play, and we have been able to see each other as friends when we do a search under invitations, so we are ea friends, but we do not see each other in any of the online lists.

I noticed when I look at my profile when I am in bf2042, my profile shows a blue thunderbolt instead of the green check mark.  I can go invisible, and then it gives me the option to go online or show as busy (green check or yellow check) , but when I choose the green check, my status goes back to the blue thunderbolt.  Any ideas?  Baffled by this one.