BF6: The Enemy Shoots You. Your Medic Watches You Die. โ ๏ธ
Welcome to Battlefield 6, the first war game where your own medics would rather walk over your dying body than save your life! ๐ฉบ๐
There was a time when getting shot didn't necessarily mean dying.
A brother in arms would come running, risk his own life, revive you, and together you'd return to the battlefield.
Today?
HAHAHAHA! WHAT A WONDERFUL WORLD! ๐คก
Over the past year, it feels like we've gone from 90% of teammates at least attempting to revive fallen soldiers to maybe 5% today!
YES. FIVE. PERCENT.
To be fair, revives within the same squad are still generally pretty decent. Apparently, a few surviving specimens of the human species still possess functioning brains and a basic sense of solidarity.
But outside your squad?
WELCOME TO THE HORROR SHOW! โ ๏ธ
๐ฉธ PICTURE THIS BEAUTIFUL SCENE...
You're lying on the ground, riddled with bullets, bleeding out, desperately calling for help.
Your final seconds are ticking away.
Suddenly, three meters away...
A MEDIC APPEARS!
A MIRACLE!
HOPE RETURNS!
You look at him.
He looks at you.
A beautiful moment. Two soldiers united by war, duty, brotherhood and the sacred obligation to help one another.
And then...
HE WALKS RIGHT OVER YOUR DYING BODY! ๐
He casually steps over your still-warm corpse as if you were an inconvenient puddle of mud standing between him and his glorious destiny!
You call for help.
He keeps walking.
You scream.
He reloads his weapon.
You die.
He probably checks his kill count.
MAGNIFICENT! SUCH HEROISM! SUCH HUMANITY! ๐๐๐
At this point, perhaps EA should replace the medics' defibrillators with shovels, so they can at least bury us after trampling our bodies!
๐ง WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO BATTLEFIELD PLAYERS?
Selfishness?
Narcissism?
A complete absence of empathy?
Or have we simply replaced our soldiers with an army of brain-dead zombies programmed to run, shoot, and ignore anything resembling a dying teammate?
The most ridiculous part is that MEDICS CAN LITERALLY WIN MATCHES!
A revived soldier is a soldier back in combat.
A defended objective.
A ticket potentially saved.
Sometimes, the difference between victory and defeat!
BUT NOOOOO!
Our glorious hero would rather chase his imaginary 47th kill while fifteen teammates bleed to death behind him!
Forget Battlefield.
THIS IS THE WALKING DEAD, EXCEPT THE ZOMBIES ARE ON OUR OWN TEAM! ๐งโโ๏ธ๐งโโ๏ธ๐งโโ๏ธ
โฐ๏ธ INTRODUCING A NEW BF6 CLASS: THE FORENSIC MEDIC!
Special abilities:
- ๐ Watch dying teammates without moving a muscle.
- ๐ฅพ Step over three wounded soldiers while chasing a kill.
- ๐ซ Reload your weapon on top of a teammate's body.
- ๐ Ignore desperate cries for help with remarkable efficiency.
- โฐ๏ธ Arrive too late, not because you couldn't save someone, but because you couldn't care less.
SPECIAL ABILITY: LEVEL 100 NARCISSISM! ๐
And EA could introduce a brand-new achievement:
๐ LEGENDARY GRAVEDIGGER: LET 1,000 TEAMMATES DIE WITHIN FIVE METERS OF YOU!
CONGRATULATIONS, SOLDIER!
YOUR TEAM IS DEAD, BUT YOUR EGO IS ALIVE AND WELL!
๐ SERIOUSLY, IF YOU PLAY MEDIC... BE A MEDIC!
Nobody expects you to commit suicide attempting every single revive.
But when a teammate is literally dying at your feet, safely behind cover, with no immediate danger around you...
WOULD IT REALLY KILL YOU TO PRESS THE **bleep** REVIVE BUTTON?!
Because if you keep abandoning every brother in arms who falls beside you, eventually there will be nobody left to save YOUR miserable backside.
And when that day comes, I sincerely hope you get to enjoy the magnificent sight of an entire parade of medics casually walking past your dying body!
WELCOME TO BF6.
THE ENEMY SHOOTS YOU.
YOUR MEDIC WATCHES YOU DIE.
AND YOUR TEAMMATES STEP OVER YOUR CORPSE ON THEIR WAY TO THEIR NEXT KILL.
WHAT A BEAUTIFUL BROTHERHOOD! โค๏ธ๐
YOU BUNCH OF ZOMBIES! ๐งโโ๏ธ
[Edit: All caps removed from title - ElliotLH]