The REAL Questions

Rose is almost always seen holding a wand made from woven branches and sticks. Would this not be the equivalent of a person waving about a detached human limb?

It's more like a person waving a wand made of human bone.

Is the Octo-Pet a zombie octopus, or a regular octopus?

Neither.  Octo-Pet is a Lovecraftian horror beyond our understanding.

Why is the Plantern a 'root' plant, if others such as Torchwood and Poison Oak show the same/more roots than the Plantern, but are only regarded as 'trees'?

He lights the way to the root of the problem.

Yetis are considered to be pets in this game. Is this assuming that Yetis are pets in real life?

Yes, but they are considered "exotic pets", so individual countries or states may have their own laws about keeping and/or breeding them.

Why is Sunflower Seed considered a flower, when it is only a seed?

It's actually a fully-formed sunflower that has wrapped itself in seed husks for protection.

Are Imps zombies that turned into babies, or babies of zombies, or just an example of a zombified society with an unusual number of very short people?

For more details about Imps, please see the Basements & Bugbears Monster Manual entry, between "Immortal Rabbit" and "Internet Junkie".

Gargantuar mimes use a french baguette as a weapon, and yet are not considered to be gourmet zombies. Is this assuming that french baguettes are not food in real life?

Baguettes may technically be food, but they're certainly not gourmet.

How come the eyes of the Banana Split are on the inside the peel, while the eyes of the Banana Launcher are on the outside?

Banana Splits and Banana Launchers may have some superficial similarities, but they're actually completely unrelated, biologically.

Stupid Cupid has wings. Why can't he fly over water? (Actually, I may have answered that one myself)

Cupid is actually part Vampire (on his mom's side), and thus can't cross bodies of water.

Hippity Hoppity Gargantuar possesses two different types of food, and yet he is not gourmet. He is however a Pet, but would that not indicate that Team Mascot should be a Pet also?

If HHG wants to be a pet, I'm certainly not going to tell him he's wrong.

How do the glasses worn by the Zombie Middle Manager not fall off his face?

Magnets.

Why, in the flavour text of the Zombot Battle Cruiser 5000, is there no mentioning of the pilot's record of being the smallest zombie in
the whole dang world?

He's not.  The smallest zombie ever recorded was Lord Hubert Quincy Brainsington, who was so small that it is technically impossible for him to have been made of any matter.

Stealthy Imp is a pirate. Is this assuming that anyone who hides behind wheelie bins wearing a mask, is a pirate in real life?

Ninjas and Pirates have been feuding for ages.  Stealthy Imp is biding his time and playing both sides until a clear victor emerges.

Why has Blowgun Imp covered his body in what he is trying to defeat?

Yeah, I don't understand how an outfit made out of the skins of defeated foes ever made it past the censors.

If a Sharktronic Sub is a Pet, and a Space Pirate's robot monkey is a Pet, why isn't a Space Cowboy's mechanical horse a Pet?

Why do you automatically assume the horse is subservient to the Space Cowboy?