Ok in regards to members taking items you should note that only club members with their names take said items. The reason you are losing items is that you have friends from putting in your add me code and they are the ones taking the items as this has happened to me when I posted for club members.
In my club we only post when the members are on and then tell them they have 1hour to collect the items requested. We are a multi national club with Aussies, Canadian , Indian, Phillipines and Americans so I don’t actually see or speak much to them becoz of the time zones. I pass on requested items for someone to pass on to those I don’t see online.
if you need to join a more active club do a search for different clubs that are active but DON’T join a war club as there are too many cheats in them.
look for a no-war club!
hope this explains your missing items