Game crashes almost immediately on startup

EVGA ACX 3.0 FTW1050ti (4gb)

AMD FX-8350 8 (4 hyperthreaded cores) cores @ 4.2ghz

8gb DDR3 RAM

Windows 7 Ultimate SP 1

I'll launch the game either from Origin or the .exe, doesn't matter, and a window with a black screen will pop up for 1-3 seconds then close, bringing me back to Origin.

I've tried reinstalling Origin (4 times), reinstalling the game (twice), repairing the game (who knows how many times). I've set launch options to -novid -noborder -windowed. I've created the user.cfg file (correctly) for the CPU fix and when that didn't work I used a .dll injector to try and do the same thing. Still no luck. I'd try editing the settings folder in My Documents, but there is no settings folder there (again, I'm looking in the correct place). I've tried deleting the game's folder in My Documents and letting the repair function restore it; no luck. My windows is up to date with all relevant updates, even those specifically linked in similar threads, so that's not the issue, either.

I'd attach a CrashDump .mdmp, located in My Documents / SWBFII / CrashDump, but apparently that's an unsupported extension type.