I got my invite by being a pain in the butt. Kept taking or nearly taking 1st for a while. Rather than continue to "deal" with me I was invited to shard chat. That's how most get added in my shard even if they only last 1 meta. The cooperation and comrodery in shard chat is one of parts of this game that makes it fun and a community. Sorry your experience is tainted but my suggestion is to keep gunning. At least now the in game chat can allow an easier experience in getting in contact with a shard chat.