Kit Reveal: Geonosian Brood Alpha

"Darth_DeVito;c-1887966" wrote:

"Ultra;c-1887547" wrote:

"Darth_DeVito;c-1887466" wrote:

"CG_SBCrumb;d-206316" wrote:
FINAL TEXT: (...) Summon a Geonosian Brute to battle if the ally slot is available, or if a Geonosian Brute is already present, he gains Critical Damage Up and Offense Up for 2 turns.
(...)

I hope this final text isn't really that final because the above sentence is a grammatical nightmare. I can deduce the meaning, but it's really painful to read. Just take out the subclause to see what I mean. How about:

"Summon a Geonosian Brute if a free ally slot is available. Only one Brute can be active at a time. Then, the Geonosian Brute gains" etc.

Crumb version is better

Maybe I'm misreading it. Does the brute only gain crit damage and offense up if he was already present? Either way, the sentence ought to be rewritten. You should be able to remove a subordinate clause without creating any grammatical problems or changing the meaning in the main clause, which is most definitely not the case here. If it's already confusing in English, it's bound to cause problems in localized versions.

Yes. Grammar isn't my strong suit but I think its fine as is.

There are two things going on:

1.
>Ally slot is available
>Summon brute

2.
>If Ally slot is being used by Brute when using this ability
>Only Then Brute gains CD Up + Offense up for 2 turns

There are few issues with your reworded statement, "... If a free ally ..." There is only one ally slot so the usage of the makes more sense than 'a' which implies many

Its a given that you can only summon one brute since only one ally slot exists. So the second sentence is unneeded and it implies that in mirror matches you cannot have more than one Geonosian Brute which would be incorrect.

The third problem is order of operations, you are saying that GBA summons Brute and then gives him CD + Offense up, which is not how it works. (see point 2 above)