How do you play your game?

I am mostly hands-off but there are some things that I insist on like families eating together and getting to bed at a reasonable time. Because of the Set the Table and Call to Meal mod, getting my sims to eat together is easy since I only have to control the sim that serves the meal. I also like to grant my sim kids their waking wish (when possible) to ensure they go to school with as many good moodlets as possible. Toddlers, children and teens are directed more than the rest of the family but that is to ensure they get the necessary skills to age up well but even they are left to their own devices a lot of the time. I also use a mod that makes it more likely that a sim will autonomously skill a toddler but have found it only works when I send them to the park since there are too many distractions at home. I have had visiting ghosts wake up toddlers and teach them how to walk and talk :)

Of course I don't let my sims run feral all the time or they would never learn the skills which I think are important like cooking and gardening. I generally pick LTWs that can be achieved without much direction from me. For example, if I have a disciplined sim I will give them the LTW that requires them to master the MA and athletic skills or if I have a virtuoso sim I will give them the LTW that needs the guitar and charisma skills to be mastered.

As for romance, I will only direct my sims to try for baby at a time that suits me. No way will I have a baby coming at meal times or late at night or early in the morning. Apart from that they are responsible for their own romantic needs.

I do pause a lot but not to control them. I pause so I can track each member of the family to see what they are up to and to take pictures.