Sentences that only make sense in TS3

I was out on a date last night with my boyfriend when I had received an alert on my phone that my house was being broken into, so I rushed home as fast as I could so that I could catch the burglar in the act and discovered that he was already gone. So I went inside to check to see if anything was missing and discovered that my toilet was gone. Who the heck steals a toilet and not the big screen TV and my super powered computer that I have in my living room as they are worth more than the toilet? And how the heck did they get it out of my house without leaving a huge water puddle in my bathroom? Maybe they thought that my toilet was broken and decided to take it to the toilet repair shop to have it fixed and then bring it back to the house. Oh who the heck am I fooling? I'll never see that toilet again, so I might as well buy a new one and install it myself even though I know nothing about plumbing. So after much beating and banging on the toilet with my wrench, I got it hooked up and working.