Sentences that only make sense in TS3

I lose my free will because I own a dog and bath tub.The bath tub causes a lot of stress on me and so to save
my resources, I turn off my free will and stand around looking at the wall for hours.

Sometimes stray animals come around our house at night, but a little while later they vanish into thin air. No really, I've seen it more than once!

---

When we don't feel like using the high chair, we just feed our toddler a bottle on the floor, no, the ground. We like to bring him out to the front yard, even in a thunder storm. I dunno why, we just do. For a while we brought him into the garage, until we sold the side garage door and replaced it with a window. Back to bringing the kid to the yard. It's just easier, I guess. Oh, maybe I should check to make sure the front door isn't installed backwards. That always gets us confused. Inside, outside, who can tell sometimes?! All we know is people usually use the door correctly, until we're holding a toddler, then we get a little wonky. But I mean, that's normal, right??

---

Recently, I was so heartbroken that I didn't feel like unclogging my toilet or doing any repairs. I really had to pee and my kitchen sink was so broken it was spewing water. I was flat broke though, so I sold the computer to be able to afford several future trips by repair-persons. It's better this way; 'cause I'm a technophobe! It was just my ex-husband's old clunky computer that I'd been meaning to sell. I'd rather use a spiral-bound notebook than anything tech, and now I'm rid of one reminder of my ex. I'm still heartbroken, but it'll only be a few more weeks and then I'll be totally over it, I swear. But by then, I'll have that nooboo reminder of my ex. I think I'll buy a chocolate fountain to raise my mood up. (I learned about that benefit at a Spooky Day party.) We'll be fine.

(OK, that one's partially thanks to three mods.)

My whole life I've had this eerie feeling that someone is watching my every move.

You know if you keep getting pregnant you wouldn't age?

I had a date with my husband. First I wanted to change my clothes so I just spinned around and I had put on my evening gown. I wasn't satisfied with it and wanted a new dress so I opened the wardrobe and teleported into a changing room, completely normal, right? I then tried on several dresses looking as if they were designed by Katy Perry. As I had chosen the right dress I got a big color weel on my left and I could chose the pattern and color I wished the dress was in while I was wearing it, futuristic, hm?
Then my husband and I ran out of the house (the doors opened and closed in front of us and behind us magically) and we teleported into the car, which suddenly appeared in the street in front of us. While we got into a car a neighbor ran through us with his car but he didn't hurt us, what a wunderful and lucky start of this romantic evening.
At the bistro we could chose to sit outside or inside and we decided it was too cold to sit outside in the snow storm. But it must have had some attraction sitting there because nearly all tables (the three I've once placed there) were in use. We decided to go inside where it was warm and where more action took place, because the waiter threw our orders right onto my husband, by mistake! No wonder, because there was just black nothing surrounding us. It seemed that we were eating in one of this stylish dark restaurants where nobody could see anything!
The waiter excused himself regretful and gave us a piece of angel cake which we put into our pocket for later use.
We then got out of the bistro and began to kiss each other but apparently other people couldn't or wouldn't see that we wanted to end our date on ourselves and so they came over to talk to us. Hmpf!
And then there was this random stranger who came over to me and who asked me to watch the stars with him which I angrily dismissed immediately of course, my husband and I were soul mates and eternally faithful!
But unfortunately the others thought differently: some of them accused me of betraying my husband and shouted at me, others came over and slapped me! And this wasn't all: my husband thought that I betrayed him, too, so now he doesn't want to talk to me in a friendly way, I have to sleep in a different bed and our marriage could end in five days!
What a nice date this was!

I have a hot date tonight but can't squeeze into my little black dress. Time to hit the treadmill for an hour.

I had a lot of fun reading through all of the replies. You guys are hilarious :lol:

@ZeeGee *sigh* if only it were that easy!! :tongue:

Help I think I'm being stalked by garden gnomes! I first bought one because I thought it was cute but now a second one has appeared and they're following me around the house. I don't see them move but sometimes I catch a glimpse of a bright flash of light in the corner of my eye. One time I woke up after a sleep and one was lying on my bed next to me. They're reproducing too! Sometimes I see a gnome wearing a diaper, I'm terrified now. I don't know if they're friendly or malevolent but if this is the last thing I write, please know that it was the gnomes who did it. The gnomes are planning something I swear! :naughty:

"coco;c-17334342" wrote:
I had a lot of fun reading through all of the replies. You guys are hilarious :lol:

@ZeeGee *sigh* if only it were that easy!! :tongue:

If ONLY!

My house caught on fire and instead of dialing 911 and running out to safety, I stood there and caught on fire,
and survived, all I had to do was take a shower and my injuries were gone.