I don't know HOW I hadn't seen this thread sooner, but I am laughing my BUTT off over here! :joy:
These are HILARIOUS!!!
Allow me to contribute. :blush:
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"Yesterday I met the girl of my dreams. :blush: When our eyes met I swear I could see pink and red hearts floating above her head and I think she could see some floating above mine too. We got to chatting and soon we inched in closer to each other and began flirting. She offered to rub my shoulders and...I wasn't gonna say no to that! Ahhh, it felt so good! To thank her for that gesture, I pulled out a bouquet of flowers that I just happened to have in my back pocket and surprisingly they didn't look smashed. I presented them to her. After inhaling their sweet aroma she was surprisingly able to put them back into her back pocket as well.
We continued to stare lovingly into each others eyes for a good couple of minutes.
I decided to take a risk and kiss her. I'm usually not this bold when first meeting a girl, but something or someone was making me do it. I think mostly it was just because of how irresistible she looked and I could no longer keep my innermost desires contained.
In the heat of the moment, it happened. I planted the deepest kiss on her that I've ever planted on a woman before (and there hasn't really been any before...)
When my lips pulled away from hers she stared at me gaping. For a split second I thought she was going to slap me...
But to my great relief she grabbed both my hands and pulled me in for a kiss of her own. Ohhhh...it was heavenly!
And I don't really know how it happened, I think both of us were just drunk with love, but I found myself asking her to be my girlfriend (in this very same setting). She happily agreed and I'm standing here thinking, "Wow! How does a guy like me luck out like this! Dear God or Goddess from above THANK YOU!"
Then also in this very same moment I had this thought to just up and propose to her. I mean, why not? We're perfect for each other; why else would this relationship be growing by the second!? I didn't have a ring, but once that thought came to me I felt something appear in my back pocket. Feeling around I discovered it was a velvety black box with a ring inside! I was utterly shocked! It was a miracle of fate! I immediately got down on one knee and proposed, even after we've only known each other for a half hour!
The way her face lit up, and that gorgeous smile, took my breath away. She clapped her hands over her mouth and nearly screamed for joy. She cried out emphatically, "YES!" and held out her hand so I could slip the ring onto her finger. Then we hugged tightly. Oh this was the best and happiest day of our lives! HOW did we both get to be so lucky in love?
So I'm standing there trying to comprehend what just happened, because seriously...A LOT just happened, even though it was glorious, and then she says to me, "Oh to heck with it! Big weddings are SO expensive and I don't want to lose this moment so, let's just get married here and now!"
I stared at her blankly for a few seconds.
"Umm, can we really do that?" I asked. "How would it be legal?"
"Oh it doesn't need to be legal," she said, inching closer and taking my hand. "We'll do it in front of the God/Goddess and that will make it official enough."
Gotta admit, she had a point. And a darn good one at that. :blush: So I nodded in agreement and soon we were exchanging rings and I could hear the wedding march playing in my head.
It is now the next day and after a lovely evening of "honeymooning" in the bedroom last night, my wife informs me that she is pregnant.
I instantly responded ecstatically and patted her shoulder while giving her a thumbs up.
I couldn't believe she was happy with that response...I'm not exactly sure why I responded in that manner. :grey_question: I don't know why I didn't just immediately kiss her...
And now I'm sitting here on the sofa in the living room, finally having a moment to myself with my thoughts, and I'm finding myself frozen as a statue while thinking, "What...just...happened???"
:flushed:
This isn't a dream is it...? "
