Sims 3 Crackfic - "Just Plasma Bugs"
Finally decided to "archive" this in the Stories and Legacies: https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-AUuSg1Peel4/YTtv08zanzI/AAAAAAAAp78/4M6QKY6-U7EeWvD8yD8UMbndJ5RenDpvQCLcBGAsYHQ/s910/JPB_header.jpg Chap...
Forum Discussion
https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-AUuSg1Peel4/YTtv08zanzI/AAAAAAAAp78/4M6QKY6-U7EeWvD8yD8UMbndJ5RenDpvQCLcBGAsYHQ/s910/JPB_header.jpg
Chapter Sixteen - "Eunuchs and Trucks"
Chapter Sixteen: Narrator: There's something virile and manly about owning a big Crewcab Dodge Ram 3500 long-box with a hemi diesel. Maybe it's those snorting horses of the revving engines, maybe it's the fact that if you lift the suspension, women need to use a stepladder to get into the cab...and the resulting benefits...
Haruo: Or maybe it's just the practical aspect.
Narrator: Sheesh...you take all the fun out of pondering.
Haruo: There's nothing to ponder, I just use it to take my produce to the grocery to sell it. And haul plants back from the nursery? What else is there.
Narrator: But don't the drivers get out of your way when you come barreling down the street with that big truck?
Haruo: It's the Sims, you vacuous twit, you think these idiots get out of the way?
https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-2fzHxw2UdgI/YTt5PksUAfI/AAAAAAAAp8E/AbzurBNHq7QU-AHEIyfIli2INGoTk37AACLcBGAsYHQ/s0/Screenshot-12.jpg
River: Hey, stud...you in the mood? So show me that you're not compensating with the size of your truck.
Narrator: See...
Haruo: Oh, shut up, Narrator.
https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Vfx6OS7rlfk/XXChrNDRatI/AAAAAAAAfVY/GbOLeFfLEmcA7_urPOogUmWCpiaasBXiACLcBGAs/s1600/Simlish%2BR%2BRating.jpg
Bebe: I think I'll stick to painting.
https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-NvARy06ELmc/YTt6B_kEIbI/AAAAAAAAp8Q/7tC_BSmRv6wUalqyL08XUbMQ-v039tY4ACPcBGAYYCw/s0/Screenshot-17.jpg
Next afternoon
https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Rr5GWlxuUkQ/YTt7B45-RlI/AAAAAAAAp8c/fzbC6xCbhxIWx-0BfCb06f3K3evgLYsFACLcBGAsYHQ/s0/Screenshot-214.jpg
Bebe: We've been here for four hours. Haven't caught a thing yet.
https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-T0mijC--WG8/YTt7WNZkADI/AAAAAAAAp8k/7OckU7WCCj0rc65jzZ5iY8o5Ic4E0XD4QCLcBGAsYHQ/s0/Screenshot-216.jpg
Haruo: Only thing we've been catching is flies.
Narrator: Hey, at least that's something.
Bebe and Haruo: Shut up, Narrator.
https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-0DZPKThPtU0/YTt7l2fEbMI/AAAAAAAAp8s/bzDdIhwzc_U5SmnG--CFzmgHhuaRzqUBACLcBGAsYHQ/s0/Screenshot-217.jpg
River: All I'm catching is a nasty case of staphylococcus; maybe even e coli. What the hell has he been eating?
https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-y9wrJlsitHk/YTt8X2lE26I/AAAAAAAAp80/zvuOooC88ScF9mCko1FQy9Co-h5S7ZnbgCLcBGAsYHQ/s0/Screenshot-220.jpg
Narrator: And Bebe lost her mind...and went out at night to go talk to the plants.
Bebe: You know, Narrator, there's been numerous studies done about the benefits to plants of actually talking to them. It supposedly makes them grow quicker and give bigger harvests. It's absolutely beneficial.
Narrator: And it's also friggin' nuts too. You ever seen what you look like talking to a plant.
Bebe: No more crazy than you talking to yourself...or to an invisible audience.
https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Nke9LL3Cp-A/YTt8-Y4JdcI/AAAAAAAAp88/6Bo8dNgVBbkE_IUl8P5PsbRfsVu61ENAQCLcBGAsYHQ/s0/Screenshot-218.jpg
Narrator: Meanwhile, River was well on her way to painting her first masterpiece. Though I'm sure there were other masterpieces that she was considering. ~nudges Haruo~ Say no more...
https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-a7qbRwubYpw/YTt9RXjCp1I/AAAAAAAAp9E/ypQt9zWp0vIHoLTcV0_rdZnBTvyddKIZACLcBGAsYHQ/s0/Screenshot-221.jpg
River: Shut up! Narrator...and not a word out of you...Haruo, unless you want to be Farinelli.
Narrator and Haruo look at each other
Narrator: Fari-who?
Haruo: Farinelli was a castrati...
Narrator: ...a what?
Haruo: A castrati is... ~makes a cutting gesture and points at that general area~ when a young boy gets his you-know-whats removed...surgically in the hopes of keeping his boyish high-pitched voice...it was quite prevalent in baroque opera famous during the 18th Century. Farinelli was otherwise known as Carlo Maria Michelangelo Nicola Broschi. What confuses me is that River isn't known for listening to baroque music. She prefers rock.
Narrator: Yeah, I'd watch it if I were you...or she might Bobbit-chop you one.
https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-B2MUiXUP1Sk/XXCh_Or37XI/AAAAAAAAfVg/7h3qiubMzHooxP6bUtJNETEPjqhPnx9tQCLcBGAs/s1600/NSFW-warning.jpg
Bebe: Oh, yeah...while River is painting, you want to go forth and multiply with me?
Haruo: MMmmhmmm...sounds like a plan.
Bebe: C'mon, Haruo, show me you're not all just talk.
https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-SyMZE5waWRQ/YTuBQDAd5zI/AAAAAAAAp9U/UBmEPcMxOWwu02SNrvdkhJvnLdAEwdiaQCLcBGAsYHQ/s0/Screenshot-222.jpg
Narrator: I think I'll just go check out your truck.
Chapter Sixteen - "Eunuchs and Trucks"
Chapter Sixteen: Narrator: There's something virile and manly about owning a big Crewcab Dodge Ram 3500 long-box with a hemi diesel. Maybe it's those snorting horses of the revving engines, maybe it's the fact that if you lift the suspension, women need to use a stepladder to get into the cab...and the resulting benefits...
Haruo: Or maybe it's just the practical aspect.
Narrator: Sheesh...you take all the fun out of pondering.
Haruo: There's nothing to ponder, I just use it to take my produce to the grocery to sell it. And haul plants back from the nursery? What else is there.
Narrator: But don't the drivers get out of your way when you come barreling down the street with that big truck?
Haruo: It's the Sims, you vacuous twit, you think these idiots get out of the way?
https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-2fzHxw2UdgI/YTt5PksUAfI/AAAAAAAAp8E/AbzurBNHq7QU-AHEIyfIli2INGoTk37AACLcBGAsYHQ/s0/Screenshot-12.jpg
River: Hey, stud...you in the mood? So show me that you're not compensating with the size of your truck.
Narrator: See...
Haruo: Oh, shut up, Narrator.
https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Vfx6OS7rlfk/XXChrNDRatI/AAAAAAAAfVY/GbOLeFfLEmcA7_urPOogUmWCpiaasBXiACLcBGAs/s1600/Simlish%2BR%2BRating.jpg
Bebe: I think I'll stick to painting.
https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-NvARy06ELmc/YTt6B_kEIbI/AAAAAAAAp8Q/7tC_BSmRv6wUalqyL08XUbMQ-v039tY4ACPcBGAYYCw/s0/Screenshot-17.jpg
Next afternoon
https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Rr5GWlxuUkQ/YTt7B45-RlI/AAAAAAAAp8c/fzbC6xCbhxIWx-0BfCb06f3K3evgLYsFACLcBGAsYHQ/s0/Screenshot-214.jpg
Bebe: We've been here for four hours. Haven't caught a thing yet.
https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-T0mijC--WG8/YTt7WNZkADI/AAAAAAAAp8k/7OckU7WCCj0rc65jzZ5iY8o5Ic4E0XD4QCLcBGAsYHQ/s0/Screenshot-216.jpg
Haruo: Only thing we've been catching is flies.
Narrator: Hey, at least that's something.
Bebe and Haruo: Shut up, Narrator.
https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-0DZPKThPtU0/YTt7l2fEbMI/AAAAAAAAp8s/bzDdIhwzc_U5SmnG--CFzmgHhuaRzqUBACLcBGAsYHQ/s0/Screenshot-217.jpg
River: All I'm catching is a nasty case of staphylococcus; maybe even e coli. What the hell has he been eating?
https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-y9wrJlsitHk/YTt8X2lE26I/AAAAAAAAp80/zvuOooC88ScF9mCko1FQy9Co-h5S7ZnbgCLcBGAsYHQ/s0/Screenshot-220.jpg
Narrator: And Bebe lost her mind...and went out at night to go talk to the plants.
Bebe: You know, Narrator, there's been numerous studies done about the benefits to plants of actually talking to them. It supposedly makes them grow quicker and give bigger harvests. It's absolutely beneficial.
Narrator: And it's also friggin' nuts too. You ever seen what you look like talking to a plant.
Bebe: No more crazy than you talking to yourself...or to an invisible audience.
https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Nke9LL3Cp-A/YTt8-Y4JdcI/AAAAAAAAp88/6Bo8dNgVBbkE_IUl8P5PsbRfsVu61ENAQCLcBGAsYHQ/s0/Screenshot-218.jpg
Narrator: Meanwhile, River was well on her way to painting her first masterpiece. Though I'm sure there were other masterpieces that she was considering. ~nudges Haruo~ Say no more...
https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-a7qbRwubYpw/YTt9RXjCp1I/AAAAAAAAp9E/ypQt9zWp0vIHoLTcV0_rdZnBTvyddKIZACLcBGAsYHQ/s0/Screenshot-221.jpg
River: Shut up! Narrator...and not a word out of you...Haruo, unless you want to be Farinelli.
Narrator and Haruo look at each other
Narrator: Fari-who?
Haruo: Farinelli was a castrati...
Narrator: ...a what?
Haruo: A castrati is... ~makes a cutting gesture and points at that general area~ when a young boy gets his you-know-whats removed...surgically in the hopes of keeping his boyish high-pitched voice...it was quite prevalent in baroque opera famous during the 18th Century. Farinelli was otherwise known as Carlo Maria Michelangelo Nicola Broschi. What confuses me is that River isn't known for listening to baroque music. She prefers rock.
Narrator: Yeah, I'd watch it if I were you...or she might Bobbit-chop you one.
https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-B2MUiXUP1Sk/XXCh_Or37XI/AAAAAAAAfVg/7h3qiubMzHooxP6bUtJNETEPjqhPnx9tQCLcBGAs/s1600/NSFW-warning.jpg
Bebe: Oh, yeah...while River is painting, you want to go forth and multiply with me?
Haruo: MMmmhmmm...sounds like a plan.
Bebe: C'mon, Haruo, show me you're not all just talk.
https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-SyMZE5waWRQ/YTuBQDAd5zI/AAAAAAAAp9U/UBmEPcMxOWwu02SNrvdkhJvnLdAEwdiaQCLcBGAsYHQ/s0/Screenshot-222.jpg
Narrator: I think I'll just go check out your truck.
