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LillyDoves's avatar
LillyDoves
6 years ago

Beautiful Little Fools [Updated: 5/27/20]

Genre: Romance, Mystery, Drama, Self-Discovery Summary: Everything is not as it seems in this perfect little town where the upper class party and the residents are eager to find a place for themsel...
stories
LillyDoves's avatar
LillyDoves
6 years ago
"ArcherDK;c-17516943" wrote:
Spoiler
Nothing like some dirty corporate business to start up some conflict. If anything, i'd say that the topic outstays its welcome and it is a tad too dark in the office.

The chapter tells quite a lot about Aster. Good job on that.

I also have to point out that perhaps you should consider using synonyms and different wording. For example, you don't have to say "Lawyer" twice in the row in quick succession. But that is a minor gripe.

Otherwise a fine chapter, if quite different from what I've expected. But don't mind me :)


Yeah, it was dark outside and there weren't a lot of windows. And it does tell quite a bit about Aster, but it also talks about Jessie and now gives Aspen a chance to "fix things."

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