Between2Worlds [Story] 06/04

When I said "face value" and undermining Athena's character. I meant the school and attitude of the students there. But even more importantly, I thought of a character archetype "Mary Sue". Mary sue is a character who is talented, who has it all and everything goes their way. Let's look very carefully at what happened to Athena so far - she is talented, born to privilege, wants more, meets the guy who just so happens to be involved with people who can give her what she wants and do so, and the Curtis himself is not only interesting, but also good looking. If the school has no secret too it and it is ACTUALLY this good and people in it are this good, then it ALMOST makes Athena a Mary sue. Now granted, you've shown that she suffered bullying - something I understand all to well and endured fir the same amount of time as she did - and the deal she struck is clearly a deal with the devil - but she STILL was born to privilege and It DOES benefit her. Mot to mention that she is a mage by blood.

What I'm trying to say is this - if she is actually happy in this hew school, if everyone actually likes her (Yes, the do. I've read a bit more) then Athena has come up on top after all and her bullying past is not equal to what she's gotten. Basically so far I would call it a good bargain, thus making her tip-toe to being Mary Sue.

I understand that bullying is very very serious problem and I do understand what's it like to be an outcast and laughing stock of an entire town. I also remember that she's risked her life, but so far everything actually goes her way. Especially magic.

Don't take it a wrong way - I'm just a little nobody who thinks he knows what he's talking about. Besides - I didn't read the whole work yet.