Diary of a Country Girl

Chapter Eight

Dear Diary,

The time feels like it’s flying by. It’s only been a couple of weeks but as much as we accomplished lately it feels like it was longer. Everything is ready now and it’s time to finish moving the last of the furniture into the new place.

It was so strange to come back after that last truckload to lock up. To look at the little house that’s been home for the last two years. At first it was just Peanut, Piccolo, and me. Then Tre, Nashville, and soon our little family was growing. I love our new home but it is still a little sad to see the old place so empty and dark. If only temporarily.

I’ve started planting fruit trees and bushes for our nectar business. We plan to sell what we don’t use for nectar as jams, jellies, or just regular produce. 

I have three hives set up that we can sell farm fresh honey from. It’s going to take some time to get the whole thing up and running. It’s going to be a lot of work too. But I’m really looking forward to it. And we still have Onyx to help out around the ranch. He’s like that Energizer Bunny. He never seems to stop and he never complains. Unlike two other ranch hands who shall remain nameless. We have downsized or scrapped some plans to focus entirely on this. I may still craft some jewelry in my spare time, but it’s going to be a hobby, not a business. The same goes for my floral arranging and Tre’s woodworking. We’ll need hobbies to help relax and unwind. 

Tre and I applied for the proper permits to turn the old stables into a farm shop. I feel good we’ll get approval. What we decide to do with the old house will depend on the answer. We have at least half a dozen different ideas. Including possibly keeping it and making another guest house. Our little guest house over the barn is only big enough for one couple. If both our parents come we’d be short on space. For now we have an empty bedroom in the house that we’re saving for the future. We can use that for the other set of parents. God willing we’ll be using it as a bedroom for our kids soon.

Tre and I have continued to discuss our plans for a family. The other night I told him I’m ready to try for a baby. I thought my heart was going to burst when he said he was ready too. He was just waiting for me to say I was ready. He never once pressured me and I love him to death for it. I say it all the time but I pinch myself to make sure I’m not dreaming. After suffering a bunch of failed relationships with a litany of losers I finally found my unicorn. All I had to do to find him was quitting searching for him. When I quit trying so hard we found each other.

When my mom and Consuela brought up family with me at the holidays I really thought it wasn’t the right time. But Tre and I hadn’t sat down and truly had a heart to heart talk about it. Neither one of us really knew how the other felt about the subject. Other than we did know we wanted kids. But we’ve talked a lot since then and I’ve laid awake at night thinking. As much as I thought there were things I wanted, and needed, to do first, that I felt we needed to do first as a couple, I feel that we’re ready to be parents. And all those things we “needed” to do were just vanity projects. I still want to climb Mt Komorebi. But if I had to choose between Komorebi or motherhood, I’m choosing motherhood every time. I feel a profound sense of peace saying so. I asking myself, what would make me feel more rewarded and fulfilled? When I look at it that way it’s no contest. Seeing the world from the top of the mountain would make some wonderful memories. But being a parent would make thousands of even more wonderful memories. There’s still time to do both though. 

Before all of that we have a ranch warming and vow renewal to prepare for this weekend. And I need to come up with the right look. I’m thinking something along the lines of Cowgirl Chic. Or as my friends Rory and Jess call it, Cowgirl Barbie.