Diary of a Country Girl

Chapter Twenty Two:

Dear diary,

The first hints of fall are here. The mornings are a little chillier, relatively speaking. The leaves are showing the first traces of color. It's one of my favorite times of year.

Going for a ride with Peanut is extra special this time of year. I've been making time either in the morning or the evening to go for a ride. In the saddle is where I do some of my best thinking. The peaceful rhythm of the hoofbeats, the quiet time to myself, and feeling Peanut's happiness at being on the move, it's all so relaxing and it clears my head.

 I've been reflecting on what I said last time I wrote. I was deep into what I call my 'mommy feels.' I have these moments where I'm overcome with intense maternal feelings. That particular wave of mommy feels was really strong. After some serious reflection and a big dose of perspective I've decided I'm not going to be stepping away from the farm shop. I'm going to cut back a little bit on the amount of time I spend there. But fully stepping away is not happening.

The shop is a shared dream of ours. It was a team effort, and all of it was done with the knowledge we were going to be parents. We built that into our plans. There was a lot of truth to what I wrote, and I am going to spend as much time as possible with Kya, but I was getting carried away by my emotions in the moment. How much time I spend at the shop may change as our family grows, but we'll adapt as we go. I'm not planning to get pregnant again just yet.

It wasn't just the rides that helped me see things more clearly. It's watching Consuela and Kya together. They both enjoy their time together and get so much out of it.

Spending time with family besides Tre and I is good for Kya. Seeing the joy on Consuela's face tells me how much she gets out of the relationship too. She's told me several times that looking after Kya helps keep her feeling young.

Then there's me. I'm used to being out of the house and on the go. I think in time I might have come to resent Kya for making me a homebody. It's good for all of us to have some time apart. I'm just not going to be at the shop all day, every day. But I will still be there.

Tre and I need to reconsider all the irons we have in the fire. We need to narrow things down and focus on the parts of the farm that are most successful and stop trying to find new things to keep adding on. The failure of the nectars to sell at the shop was a surprise, but they sell fabulously online and at Dani and Marissa's steakhouse. The other bar in town, Rusty Horseshoe has even started buying a crate or two a week. So we keep our focus on the nectar and produce.

The furniture Tre and his dad are making is doing great. We're going to make it a part of the business.

 We sat down with Tre's parents and discussed the shop's future. This is a work in progress, and Tre's parents are becoming partners in it. We want to keep it open year round. The plan for now is to focus mostly on produce when the weather is warm and the crops are in season. During the colder months we'll concentrate on the furniture. Delmond and Tre want to sell restored items as well. Those take less time to get ready for sale, and we can do those year round. 

Something else I would have missed about the shop is it's place in the community as a source of news. And gossip. This is a small town after all. Gossiping is like a sport. You never know what you might overhear?

People come not only from Chestnut Ridge to shop, but all over the county, and even parts the surrounding counties too. There are no big cities nearby so places like this are a big part of the community fabric. And with Kya getting to that age where it's time to start having her socialize with other children her age, it's a great place to meet other moms with little ones to arrange play dates and help her find and make friends.

Before I go I had to share a little of what Kya is up to. Tre and I have been teaching her shapes, objects, numbers and how to express her needs.

She's picking those things up so well. She's so adorable when she tries to figure out something totally new. She does this lean over, like she thinks the answer is on the other side of the flash card.

We're also working to introduce her to the horses. She absolutely adores them and she's always asking to go see the horsees. I love that she loves them, but we're very careful to be there with her. All three horses are very calm and gentle and they love her too. I love that she's picking up on our love of animals and nature. That's something we definitely want to continue nurturing.