Dim Sims ISBI 7/28

Chapter 1.6

“OMG, my family is made up of a bunch of losers,” Brianna mumbles to herself as she looks at her dad, nose planted in the shrubbery.



(That’s not a very nice thing to say.)

But she can’t hear me. Just as well. Her YA birthday is tonight and danged if I’m going to make her the heir. She’s a bit on the mean side.

They all have a very nice time at a museum for Brianna’s birthday, but unfortunately, I forgot to get any shots of it but this one.

Divan stares, saying in a monotone voice, “Mmm....cake...yummy...”



(Doesn’t take much to make him happy.)

“You do realize I hear everything you say, Creator.”

(Um, yeah. Actually, I do.)

“You’re officially on ignore,” he declares, pointing up at me.

(Go ahead. Try. I dare you.)

He shakes his head and spins home.

Only it isn’t the home he’s left.

(Surprise! All your hard work has paid off, Divan! Welcome to your new uptown digs!)



Looking around, Divan smiles. “You’ve outdone yourself, Creator!”

(So...you’re talking to me now? I thought so. Oh, Divan! Your kids! They’re about to have a pee failure! Get them in the house!)



Avoiding his pee failure, Hunter takes a bath only to...

FAIL!



“My, this is a gorgeous home!” Kaila says, inspecting the modern kitchen. “But I wonder where my husband is?”



(He’s out in the backyard, tending the garden. After all, money doesn’t grow on trees...well, in this case, maybe it does!)



(So, you’re happily gardening now, Divan?)

“You know what they say...happy wife, happy life!”

(Good. Glad you’re finally making sense and seeing things my way!)



But before I could finish my sentence, Divan disappears and all I could get of him was a few green sparkles!

(Wha???)



I look up to see the culprit.



Many moments later...



(Um...are you all right, Divan?)

Glaring, he asks, “So WHERE do these plants come from anyway?”

(Weeell...heh...um....)



“Don’t talk to me ever again. That was just...embarrassing...”

(But, Divan, Kaila is waiting for you in the house and I think she wants to thank you for making all her dreams come true.)

“Really?”



(YES! Move!)

Divan’s simple brain goes into full tilt male hormone. We won’t see him for a while.



Well, he finds Kaila right away and speaks sweet love sonnets to her.


“How about you and me and the bed makes three?”



“Oh, Divan, you say the sweetest things,” Kaila coos.



(Doesn’t take much, does it?)

“She’s been falling for this smolder since high school,” Divan says to me in his head as he laser beams his eyes on her.



(Ugh...how long till one of your kids ages up? I think the cheese is getting a little too much. Even for me.)

“You only have yourself to blame. You created me.”

(Please don’t remind me, Divan...)

“Come on, you hunk of man you!” Kaila waves a finger toward her as she struts up the stairs to the boudoir.



But poor Divan, after all the UFO dealings can’t seem to make it to the room.

It’s just...yup.

FAIL!



Lindsey knocks him on the head. “Daddy? Daddy???”