I also would like to clarify that what I meant by toxic is never being satisfied and putting yourself down and feeling like you can't measure up, because your standards are so impossibly high that even being at the top isn't good enough. because as I said, nothing is and nothing can be absolutely perfect. Striving for whatever goal you want to set for yourself, that is good! But not being satisfied with what you are able to achieve, because it is not PERFECT, that is unhealthy.
@flauschtrud I'm sure that it is related, at least in some situations. Like I said, my mental illnesses / disabilities make it so that my efforts will never ever result in perfection. It is just the nature of them. But also because of them, I am so full of fear and paranoia, all the time, that I do try to control what I fear in life through often completely unrelated things, or things that have zero effect on anything. There are many other types of examples of that too, different things, I don't know if I should say them because they might be triggers for some people. Your situation also makes complete sense. It is interesting, the same principle, applies to so many completely different situations.
