Memories Cycle 2 - WINNER ANNOUNCED

Our Happy Place: Promise Rock


Most of our arguments started because of one word. Pride.

My abuela was right when she nicknamed Kai the lion. When I met him he was a brave but homeless teen like myself, doing the best he could to make his way in a the world and keep up appearances in school. No one on his team knew he'd been living out of his truck, not his teammates or coach or even the school guidance counselor.

Kai hated to be pitied. It was the pride, you see? He was nearly a year moved into the tiny apartment above Ms. Kunas when the inevitable holidays came around and I had to broach the dreaded subject. Kai and I weren't dating by then. We were just really good friends. I wasn't closeted or anything but most people just assumed I was straight and I didn't see how it was any of their business; so I never bothered to correct them. Kai and I talked on the phone almost every day and we hung out as much as our free time allowed. It wasn't very much, especially after the two of us went to school most of the day, played sports, crammed homework and then rushed to my father's restaurant to help out.

So even though I was wildly attracted to Kai, who I assumed was straight (he'd not yet told me why he'd left home) it wasn't the most concerning thing on my mind when I called him the day before school let out for winter break. I knew that the issue of family was a delicate one, and something he dodged like a bullet but I had to know what he was doing for the holidays. My family and I were going away to Promise Rock. We had a cabin up in the mountains and the land was so named after an old family legend, which I'll get to before this story is over.

Anyway I carefully asked him what he was doing for the holidays. True to his nature he brushed it off like it was nothing. "I'm not really the holiday sort, man. I mean I'm a little behind in Trig. I just barely passed our midterms and you know coach will be riding me like a donkey if I don't get my butt in gear. If I'm not cramming down numbers, I'll probably just eat my weight in popcorn and plant myself in front of the TV. You know every Christmas they run a marathon on TNT for A Christmas Story. I watch it every year..." He laughed at this. I could almost see him pushing his hand through his wild, blond mane as he spoke. It was a nervous habit of his when he was uncomfortable with something. His face would also be flushed by now; another nervous tell. The kids at school might fall for his blustering but I knew him enough by now to tell when he was tamping down the hurt. He was being the 'fake Kai "the one that wasn't going to be lonely as h/ell this Christmas. Even Ms. Kunas was going to fly out to California to visit with her grandchildren.

I swallowed down the sound I wanted to make and said, "So you know we go up to Promise Rock each year. The immediate family goes up there. We ski and cook enough food for an army, sing cheesy Christmas carols and my madre knits everyone a hat to go with the ugly sweaters she's gotten us for the contest we run every year. This year I think she even made you one." There, I think he got the message. I'd hinted without asking.

I could hear him breathing on the other end of the phone before he huffed. "Yeah right, man. You guys go and have fun. I don't want to be a downer."

"But you won't!," I squeezed the phone until it creaked.

"Its family, Teo. You don't need me there."

"That's bull. You know you're family."

"I don't have a family, man. I don't even have skis. I'll just be a bum sitting on your couch eating all the churros. You don't want me there, trust me. Go. Have fun. I'll be all right."

He was going to hang up. I was seething with a slow building anger about last comment. I don't have any family." Then I realized what he was saying. I don't have skiis. He was ashamed of what he didn't have. Of being the outsider. He was afraid of being seen. Kai, who was always the golden boy, even when he walked around with a tarnished spirit. No one saw him but me.

"You can borrow my skiis, Kai. It's not a big deal, and mom makes like a thousand churros anyway. You can eat until you're sick."

"I'm not going, Teo. Drop it." There was a finality in his voice I just couldn't accept.

"Then I'm not going either."

"What?"

"It'll be the first time I stay home for Christmas in my entire life. My sister will probably cry but she'll get over it. I mean it's more important for Kai Warren to save face and me to be an the idiot that supports him, then for him to get over himself, realize I'm not throwing him a pity party and get in the d/amn car.

Lions are stubborn but they have a breaking point. Kai realized I was totally serious when my entire family piled in the car and my little sister started crying as dad pulled her away. My mother was upset but my father understood. Kai felt like it was all his fault and finally capitulated and packed a bag.

I won that argument as well as many others that were to follow on his trip: like teaching him how to ski. That was a hilarious adventure. We played rock paper scissors to determine who slept in my tiny bed, and he won but I forced him to share anyway. Memories of sleeping with a crick in my neck while he snored softly in my ear will be carried with me always.

As for Promise Rock, it is said that very ill luck will befall an individual if they make a promise on the Mountain that they intend to break. Even though the family only half believe the tales passed down from generations gone by, we still speak carefully during the entire trip. No one makes a promise they don't intend to keep.

It was there amid the snow and hot chocolate and churros that Kai and I found ourselves home alone after he broke my ski falling down the mountain. We were warming up before the fire and he was being silly by wearing my sister's reindeer hat when he finally confessed to me in front of the roaring blaze.

"Because I'm gay."

I nearly choked on my hot chocolate, "What?"

"They kicked me out because I am gay." Kai stared into the fire. His cheeks were flush and his heart was bear. His shoulders had gone stiff as stone. He was expecting rejection. Disgust.

"Well, " I said after a full minute of thinking of the right words, "My little sister offered me her Backstreet Boys poster when I told the family. She said I could crush on any of them except for Brian, cuz she was going to marry him when she grew up."

Kai burst out laughing. His light eyes danced with his relief as he finally dared look at me. "I can't believe you're gay. I mean what are the odds we both are." Yeah, what were the odds? My heart was racing a little in my chest but I tried to play it off.

I shrugged. "Yeah, I told her I was gay, not tone deaf."

Kai made a face. "Come on, you don't think Kevin's hot?"

I wiggled my hand in a side to side motion. "He's alright. He's not my type though."
Kai was still laughing at me. Our eyes caught and held. "Okay, I give," he said at last, "Who's your type?"

I know you're wondering how this that day turned out. Just take a look at the picture and you'll see. My sister's still a little sneaky son of a gun! Even years later she swears that she had a hand in getting Kai and I together.

She tells me,"You know if I hadn't cried that day, he would have never gotten in the car."

I haven't the heart to tell her, I promised my heart to Kai on the mountain if only he would give me his in return. I don't think Promise Rock grants wishes, but it certainly brought us together. And I know I'll never break my promise.

Year after year, we reconnect at Promise Rock. Its the place where we told out truths, buried our pride, and uncovered our love.
~Mateo



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