The Bachelor Challenge

Day 15: Romance Festival

I know. I know. I promised the Black & White Party this episode, but then the Romance Festival popped up! I have a "romance" show. Obviously, I have to do this. Thus, the Black & White party will happen next time... probably…

Anyway. Romance Festival!!!

Ok, our loves are in the gutter. The romance between the bachelor and all the bachelorettes is swirling down the sludge of the sewer. It’s putrid! This an opportunity to help our contestants get back on the love train.

Everyone is ~forced~ encouraged to drink a cup of Sakura tea to get in the mood. That’s right, drink up my simmies. Hehehe

Eric goes to the love guru to ask about his romantic destiny. What sage wisdom and glimpse into the future will the guru see? 

“Your true love is closer than you think.” -Hakim El Kamani, romance guru

Erm? Thanks, I guess. Who cares what that babble actually means. We’re going to interpret this to mean that one of the three remaining bachelorettes is Eric’s true love. Wedding bells will soon ring! Huzzah!

Eric tries to strike up a conversation with the bachelorettes to determine which one is his true love, but the table sits there staring at each other in silence. Then he stands and stomps, yells and cries in jealousy. Whaaaat now??!!! Nobody was even talking.

Uhhh… turns out Eric got angry not at Kaley, or Jasmine, or Zuri… He’s jealous over Nancy Landgraab???? And now everyone (and I mean everyone) is talking about Nancy. The tea is boiling at the fest.

Look at the gray haired guy in the right corner. He is 100% going live with his 15 followers over this scandal.

After weeping alone for way too long, Eric pulls himself together.  Nancy isn't his true love. She's married (for now), her makeup is atrocious, and we all know "I want to speak with the manager" is her native tongue.

Eric needs to focus on his wedding fantasy. I mean finding his true love. Taking another approach, Eric gives a proper hand kiss to each woman. Zuri and he hug and have a short flirty conversation.

Kaley accepts the hand kiss, but when Eric flirts with her, that Unflirty trait kicks in. She reprimands him for his public display of affection. This leads to a huge spat between the two that ends with Eric in tears.

You know Kaley was a mean girl in high school if she looks this liberated at having made someone cry.

Eric is too sad to give Jasmine a proper hand kiss and the only options are “Gloomy Compliment” and “Try to Flirt”. Let’s attempt both. While Jasmine is happy with his compliment and sad (in all definitions of the word) flirt, it doesn't lead to anything romantic. Instead, they have a friendly conversation.

The Romance festival ends and our crew heads back to the mansion. Kaley and Eric have a heart-to-heart and make up.

The gals want to shake things up and decide to play a game of Truth or Dare. Kaley, Jasmine, and Eric pick Truth. Each divulges embarrassing or compromising secrets. Jasmine writes down every word (for blackmail reasons).

Zuri chooses Dare. She’s triple-dog dared to streak through the neighborhood. Eric and Kaley are clearly uncomfortable with the idea, but Jasmine gleefully pressures her to do it. They wait for her to back out.

Psycho eyes: "DO IT!!!" - Thumb twiddle: "This is taking things too far." - Pearl clutch: "What will the neighbors think?"

Zuri accepts the challenge.

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I swear on my plumbob, the next episode will be the Black & White party. I mean it! My great grandmother's llama as my witness. It's most likely definitely happening possibly maybe next episode, for sure.

Next Ep: Day 16

Previous Ep: Day 14