The Freezer Bunny Club - A Reading Circle

1. All my Sims stories take place in the future (with an alternative history on Earth) on another planet (Simterra). What do you think of the worldbuilding? Does everything make sense? What additional questions do you have about the world building?
It was a little confusing at first, but your author’s notes have helped tremendously. I like how in-depth you’ve gone on the history of your world, as well as all the different regions, accents and even the names of different sim-heritages. I’ve never seen something like that before in the sims, so colour me impressed!

2. I put little Author's Notes at the bottom of every chapter. Are they useful? Do you like them? Do they help clarify things from the chapter?
Absolutely. If not for the author’s notes, I don’t think I would have been able to understand the first few chapters. Especially the parts where Kass describes certain events or history, or references her family’s heritage.

I did notice that, sometimes, your author’s notes describe the thought process and logic behind the actions that Kass or her friends take. Sometimes in greater detail, sometimes in lesser. This is just a personal preference, but I like theorizing about what’s going on in a character’s head and why they are taking the actions that they are taking. By describing it in the notes, you’re presenting your reader with the answer right away. Depending on the type of reader, this could be a good thing or a bad thing.

3. The chapters are broken into arcs. Is this helpful? Do you find the breaks natural? (sometimes I use cliffhangers) >:)
It is, though I’ve had some confusion regarding the number of the arc vs the number of the chapter. For example, arc 1 is the prologue, arc 2 is 1.0 to 1.1, and arc 3 is 1.2 to 2. 5. Is there a reason why you’ve decided to label them like that, instead of making the number correspond to the number of the arc?
Also, cliffhangers are mean and I 100% approve of them. XD

4. What is your initial impression of Kass, my main character/the protagonist?
I like her. She’s very relatable, and you’ve portrayed her in a way that makes her believably flawed. Some of your early chapters have hit pretty close to home for me, so now I’m super invested in how this girl deals with her family, and what challenges she’ll face in her future.

5. The first part of the story is most definitely slice-of-life with some elements of supernatural/fantasy and mystery thrown in. Do you like it? How is it similar or different to other slice-of-life stories you've read?
I’ve noticed that your story is very realistic for a slice-of-life, odd as that sounds. My general experience with household drama is just that, drama. Emotions running wild, people cheating, people running away at the aisle, things like that. But what’s happening with Kass and her family is so believable because it’s something that happens with so many families in real life. It’s relatable, and that’s what drew me in from the beginning.

6. Any thoughts on my writing style? The length of chapters? The pacing?
I like your pacing a lot! You put a lot of detail into your writing, f.e. when Kass is observing the people around her down to the smallest detail. It draws you in, like you’re really looking at what she’s looking at.

Arc 1: What do you think of the Prologue (the first five chapters)? Do you feel like it gives you a good introduction to Kass, her family, and backstory? Do you have additional questions about her family/past?
I do. The lore and history in the prologue was a little confusing at first, but as I mentioned before your author’s notes helped clear that up very well, and the further you read, the more invested you get in the people she’s mentioning. Especially when you get to the part about her mother and father. When you reach Kass, you’re fully drawn into the story.

Arc 2:
What do you think of the introduction of Kass' relationship with her mom and sisters? Does it feel realistic? What about the introduction of her friends, Ayesha and Gage?
I adore the relationship between Kass and her sisters, and her mother using her as emotional support and mediator in the family is quite relatable (although bad parenting in my mind). You portray them all as flawed, but well-meaning (or teenagers being teenagers, haha).

Arc 3:
a) What are your thoughts about Clark? Thoughts about VJ?
Clark: If he really is just a dorky janitor, I feel bad for how Kass’s mother is dragging him in front of her children. The guy clearly likes her, but his awkward introduction and his cluelessness on how to approach them is making all three of them dislike him. If he’s more than that (and he appears to be), I can’t help but wonder what on earth he wants with that family, and Kass’s mother in particular. If she was a super-rich divorcee or widow, I’d totally get it, but… she’s not. Hmm hmm hmm.
VJ: We haven’t seen much of him yet at this point, but how he talked to Andi gained him a lot of brownie points with me. He really seems worried for her wellbeing, and the type of guy to care about their girlfriends. If he’d just wanted to get in her pants, that conversation would have been very different. I like how you portrayed him!
b) Andi and Kass discuss faith. What are your thoughts about my take on the Jacoban/Peteran faith from Sims Medieval?
Well, I have the Jacobans in my own story, and they’re total raving lunatics, so your Peteran side seems much nicer so far. Can I foist Agravaine onto you? XD
c) Andi and Kass also discuss dating and Kass proceeds to think about her love life. Did it feel realistic?
It did, as it was a natural consequence to them talking about romance. When she thinks about her past crushes, I think I would have liked to see a screenshot accompanying it. Just for extra visuals. But I know you’re not re-taking pictures, so feel free ignore that last part. =)
d) Also, this arc introduces one of the many mysteries in this story. How do you think I handled its introduction?
It’s intriguing! You’ve done a very good job worldbuilding so far, and I have a ton of questions that I hope will be answered in the future. Probably by piling more questions on top of the ones I already have, haha.

Arc 4: What are your thoughts about Davis? Did you like his interlude?
He’s tall, blonde, toned and handsome. What’s not to like? =P Plus, he seems like a genuinely nice person, and interested in Kass beyond physical attraction. Him letting her stay in the shop and even cooking her breakfast was adorable. Kass needs to learn a thing or two about how entering uninvited can still be considered trespassing XD
a) Howard drops a bit of a shock on Kass. How do you feel about this father/daughter reunion? What about the introduction of EXCES?
I’ve already mentioned this in my individual comments, but Howard coming back because of that actually makes me furious. Especially because of his terrible timing, and the fact that he’s still thinking of himself instead of his daughter. Again, this is something that frequently happens in real life, and its relatability is what is making me so angry. Very well written. The EXCES was very interesting. I love how you introduced an illness in the game via Alien experimentation. It immediately made me want to know more about how it came into existence, and the history sims have with aliens. Well done! I think the chapters with Howard were my favourite so far, angry as they made me.
b) Amy struggles with depression. Did that show in the chapters?
It’s subtle, but it’s there. Amy seems to have a lot of deeply rooted issues, that no doubt were amplified by her husband leaving her and moving on with a new woman. I’m suspecting that she also has self-esteem issues, and that her new beau has her so infatuated that she’s got blinders on in terms of family relations.

1. Kass is intended to be a flawed character. She isn't perfect, but I feel this makes her more realistic. Do her flaws annoy you or deepen her character? Or something else entirely? What do you see as her strengths/gifts?
Perfect characters are anathema to good stories. Or robots. Take your pick – point is, when someone is flawed, their struggles and hardships become infinitely more interesting. I’m still in the beginning of the story, but so far her strengths and weaknesses are very believable. I’d like to see her overcome some of her anxiety in the future, or learn to cope with it better. She’s still young, of course, so there’s plenty of time. =) I like how deeply she cares for family, and how she’s willing to lend an ear to her sisters and wants to avoid conflict (except with Gage, haha). That is also her flaw, of course – she’s avoiding conflict to the point of letting people walk over her, especially her mother. I’d like to see her develop into a person that’s more capable of placing boundaries, instead of being roped into playing mediator.

2. Do you have a favorite character so far? Do you have a least favorite character? Who do you want to know more about?
My favourite so far is Kass, I think. I relate to her situation and I want to see her succeed. On the other end, that puts both her mother and father in a competitive race for least-favourite, though currently Howard wins out by a mile. xD Not because they’re badly written, but because I genuinely empathise with the situation. I want to know more about Davis… but something tells me he’ll show up more in the coming chapters, anyway. =)

3. Do you have a favorite scene/chapter thus far?
The talk with Howard, and his reveal to Kass. I love how you wrote that scene, as well as the alien disease that you introduced in the chapter. It also makes me want to angrily poke Howard with a pitchfork, so you definitely did something right! xD

4. Any future predictions based on where you are in the story?
Nope! Anything can happen. I’m going to sit back and enjoy the ride… and probably angrily rant about Howard being a terrible dad at some point again. So far, I’m really enjoying your story. ^^

5. What questions do you have for me? Any other thoughts you'd like to share?
Why did you choose to go into such detail about your sim-world and its history? It’s very unique, and I was wondering what gave you the idea. =)