Forum Discussion
5 years ago
@AdamsEve1231
General Questions
Arc 1:
What do you think of the Prologue (the first five chapters)? Do you feel like it gives you a good introduction to Kass, her family, and backstory? Do you have additional questions about her family/past?
Arc 2:
What do you think of the introduction of Kass' relationship with her mom and sisters? Does it feel realistic? What about the introduction of her friends, Ayesha and Gage?
Arc 3:
a) What are your thoughts about Clark? Thoughts about VJ?
b) Andi and Kass discuss faith. What are your thoughts about my take on the Jacoban/Peteran faith from Sims Medieval?
c) Andi and Kass also discuss dating and Kass proceeds to think about her love life. Did it feel realistic?
d) Also, this arc introduces one of the many mysteries in this story. How do you think I handled its introduction?
Arc 4:
What are your thoughts about Davis? Did you like his interlude?
Arc 5:
a) Howard drops a bit of a shock on Kass. How do you feel about this father/daughter reunion? What about the introduction of EXCES?
b) Amy struggles with depression. Did that show in the chapters?
c) Kass also exhibits signs of anxiety. Does that show in the chapters?
d) What do you think about Kass' job offer?
Other questions:
1. Kass is intended to be a flawed character. She isn't perfect, but I feel this makes her more realistic. Do her flaws annoy you or deepen her character? Or something else entirely? What do you see as her strengths/gifts?
2. Do you have a favorite character so far? Do you have a least favorite character? Who do you want to know more about?
3. Do you have a favorite scene/chapter thus far?
4. Any future predictions based on where you are in the story?
5. What questions do you have for me? Any other thoughts you'd like to share?
General Questions
Spoiler
I enjoy your worldbuilding. I find it admirable that you go these extra lengths to create a fictional world for your characters to live in. It’s very wholesome. I like that if I get confused about something, the explanation is there in the A/N.
I love the author’s notes because they elaborate on the world. It’s very informative and explains a lot of the world and lore you’ve built. One thing I noticed is that it overwhelms me quite quickly. By the third chapter though, I found it immersion breaking and started feeling fatigued, so I created a system that works for me in that I would read the story first, Then after the end of each Arc, I’d read the Author notes. It means I’ll double back but it works for me whose thoughts scatter easily. It’s easier for me to process/focus on one thing at a time. Hence I was so impressed that you can create and continue multiple stories while I can only do one. :smile: I did think that if you were to create a page and consolidated the whole lore, world building astrological charts etc, and in your author’s notes provided a link to those information, it could work too. Though I also think this potentially makes the information likely to be glossed over, but it’s nice to know there is a page where everything is consolidated and easily referenced than going back a few chapters.
I always had a different impression of Arcs. I assumed they meant a subplot of sorts, thus I think of your arcs as chapters instead. They are very helpful and the breaks are natural. I use cliffhangers too much so the frequency of yours is refreshing. :sweat_smile:
Kass is dependable, responsible, caring, loving, patient and accomodating. (I am itching to add ‘over-’ to the word accomodating). She is also suspicious, cautious, and stressed. Because of her good qualities, everyone placed expectations upon her and she being the person she is, strives to meet those expectations. Personally however, she isn’t given much room for self-expression. The only person she’s truly herself around is Ayesha which doesn’t happen enough in the chapters I’ve read.
I’m not sure where the supernatural/fantasy comes in. Definitely mystery. Hmm, I’ve not read much slice of life to be honest, my story and the stories I’ve read are action and thriller based. The only slice of life I’ve read is yours, Duvelina and redemon’s. Reddemon’s from a guy’s pov and features a life of reform, Duv’s focused on quite a few characters each growing/struggling at their own pace while yours is mostly on Kass’s pov. I’d say because your story focuses on one person’s pov, the advantage is being able to dive deep into the character’s head and fleshing out her motives, needs and desires. It allows me to connect with Kass at a very deep level and want her to succeed in her endeavors.
Ah I’m said and gushed so many times on all your stories. I love your writing style. For Kass’s story, I find the length just right between narration and dialogue. The pacing flows naturally and the length of chapters are easy to digest. I like that I do not need to look at pictures as your writing clearly describes the scene.
1.All my Sims stories take place in the future (with an alternative history on Earth) on another planet (Simterra). What do you think of the worldbuilding? Does everything make sense? What additional questions do you have about the world building?
I enjoy your worldbuilding. I find it admirable that you go these extra lengths to create a fictional world for your characters to live in. It’s very wholesome. I like that if I get confused about something, the explanation is there in the A/N.
2. I put little Author's Notes at the bottom of every chapter. Are they useful? Do you like them? Do they help clarify things from the chapter?
I love the author’s notes because they elaborate on the world. It’s very informative and explains a lot of the world and lore you’ve built. One thing I noticed is that it overwhelms me quite quickly. By the third chapter though, I found it immersion breaking and started feeling fatigued, so I created a system that works for me in that I would read the story first, Then after the end of each Arc, I’d read the Author notes. It means I’ll double back but it works for me whose thoughts scatter easily. It’s easier for me to process/focus on one thing at a time. Hence I was so impressed that you can create and continue multiple stories while I can only do one. :smile: I did think that if you were to create a page and consolidated the whole lore, world building astrological charts etc, and in your author’s notes provided a link to those information, it could work too. Though I also think this potentially makes the information likely to be glossed over, but it’s nice to know there is a page where everything is consolidated and easily referenced than going back a few chapters.
3. The chapters are broken into arcs. Is this helpful? Do you find the breaks natural? (sometimes I use cliffhangers)
I always had a different impression of Arcs. I assumed they meant a subplot of sorts, thus I think of your arcs as chapters instead. They are very helpful and the breaks are natural. I use cliffhangers too much so the frequency of yours is refreshing. :sweat_smile:
4. What is your initial impression of Kass, my main character/the protagonist?
Kass is dependable, responsible, caring, loving, patient and accomodating. (I am itching to add ‘over-’ to the word accomodating). She is also suspicious, cautious, and stressed. Because of her good qualities, everyone placed expectations upon her and she being the person she is, strives to meet those expectations. Personally however, she isn’t given much room for self-expression. The only person she’s truly herself around is Ayesha which doesn’t happen enough in the chapters I’ve read.
5. The first part of the story is most definitely slice-of-life with some elements of supernatural/fantasy and mystery thrown in. Do you like it? How is it similar or different to other slice-of-life stories you've read?
I’m not sure where the supernatural/fantasy comes in. Definitely mystery. Hmm, I’ve not read much slice of life to be honest, my story and the stories I’ve read are action and thriller based. The only slice of life I’ve read is yours, Duvelina and redemon’s. Reddemon’s from a guy’s pov and features a life of reform, Duv’s focused on quite a few characters each growing/struggling at their own pace while yours is mostly on Kass’s pov. I’d say because your story focuses on one person’s pov, the advantage is being able to dive deep into the character’s head and fleshing out her motives, needs and desires. It allows me to connect with Kass at a very deep level and want her to succeed in her endeavors.
6. Any thoughts on my writing style? The length of chapters? The pacing?
Ah I’m said and gushed so many times on all your stories. I love your writing style. For Kass’s story, I find the length just right between narration and dialogue. The pacing flows naturally and the length of chapters are easy to digest. I like that I do not need to look at pictures as your writing clearly describes the scene.
Arc 1:
What do you think of the Prologue (the first five chapters)? Do you feel like it gives you a good introduction to Kass, her family, and backstory? Do you have additional questions about her family/past?
Spoiler
The prologue is very detailed. I like you give us insights to their personalities and traits from your description of their actions. It’s interesting to find out what kind of person her family members are and how they shaped her. The last two posts in Arc 1 are really sad. And I could feel her emotions flow through her writing that her father’s abandonment is something she hasn’t let go nor forgiven.
I must counter argue against myself, because I can see how well it’ll work were I to read each post as they were published. I will no doubt appreciate and will have no problems reading the Author’s notes straight away. But I don’t mind what I’m doing now. It’s very rewarding and I get to reread the parts I like.
The prologue is very detailed. I like you give us insights to their personalities and traits from your description of their actions. It’s interesting to find out what kind of person her family members are and how they shaped her. The last two posts in Arc 1 are really sad. And I could feel her emotions flow through her writing that her father’s abandonment is something she hasn’t let go nor forgiven.
I must counter argue against myself, because I can see how well it’ll work were I to read each post as they were published. I will no doubt appreciate and will have no problems reading the Author’s notes straight away. But I don’t mind what I’m doing now. It’s very rewarding and I get to reread the parts I like.
Arc 2:
What do you think of the introduction of Kass' relationship with her mom and sisters? Does it feel realistic? What about the introduction of her friends, Ayesha and Gage?
Spoiler
I grew up in a very different household culture compared to Kass’ family. If you were to cast Ayesha as the main protagonist, I’d probably relate more to her and can give a more confident answer as to whether it was realistic to me or not. All I can say is Kass’s relationship with her mother and sisters reminds me of sitcoms on TV. Fun, entertaining, full of internal strife and sibling light-heartedness.
Ayesha speaks out to me the most because I can relate to her better. I’m surprised at how lightly she spoke about going against her family’s wishes. (I’d expect either more guilt, resentment or apathy but eh, people respond differently to everything.) Gabe’s perspective makes me like him a lot. He’s very understanding and patient with Kass and with all the problems he’s faced, he speaks to me a mature soul stuck in a young body. Well he did bite her head off there but he’s to me a big teddy bear kinda guy. All bark and no bite and even those barks, he’d prefer not to do so.
I grew up in a very different household culture compared to Kass’ family. If you were to cast Ayesha as the main protagonist, I’d probably relate more to her and can give a more confident answer as to whether it was realistic to me or not. All I can say is Kass’s relationship with her mother and sisters reminds me of sitcoms on TV. Fun, entertaining, full of internal strife and sibling light-heartedness.
Ayesha speaks out to me the most because I can relate to her better. I’m surprised at how lightly she spoke about going against her family’s wishes. (I’d expect either more guilt, resentment or apathy but eh, people respond differently to everything.) Gabe’s perspective makes me like him a lot. He’s very understanding and patient with Kass and with all the problems he’s faced, he speaks to me a mature soul stuck in a young body. Well he did bite her head off there but he’s to me a big teddy bear kinda guy. All bark and no bite and even those barks, he’d prefer not to do so.
Arc 3:
a) What are your thoughts about Clark? Thoughts about VJ?
b) Andi and Kass discuss faith. What are your thoughts about my take on the Jacoban/Peteran faith from Sims Medieval?
c) Andi and Kass also discuss dating and Kass proceeds to think about her love life. Did it feel realistic?
d) Also, this arc introduces one of the many mysteries in this story. How do you think I handled its introduction?
Spoiler
A)I’m too suspicious of Clark to formulate much about him. He handled the sibling’s rudeness and outbursts very well, he has two accents (ah okay, I have two too so I guess I can’t hold that against him, but I don’t do shady meet ups in parks) Then his serenading seems like an outlandish way to prove his sincerity. I like that he’s treating Amy nice. I can’t see what benefits he has to latch himself to the Fullbright family if he were a crook, unless he need them for an alibi which is far-fetched.
I like VJ. He speaks to me as a guy who’s been through a lot and whose own father doesn’t believe in him, yet manages to hold himself together and look on the bright side. I’ve seen people in that situation struggle well into their 30s. Thankfully he has Andi and is surrounded by good people. He’s very mature (not sure how old), but I do think Andi is too young.
B)I’m not sure. I’ve never played sims medieval nor am I Christian. I know they do youth groups as I’ve attended some.But I’m not the right person to give my take on this.
C) I find their sibling chat very realistic. The way Andi opens herself more and more as Kass slowly warms up to VJ as a person, how she felt confident to introduce to Kass because Kass is accepting of their relationship. With how Carina reacted to her mom’s boyfriend, if Andi were there she’d probably introduce VJ to Carina only after she had everyone else.
One thing I found hard to believe is Andi’s maturity. I believe she can wait until after marriage, and believe her relationship with VJ. It’s the reasoning and word choices, knowing how to deliver her points and emphasise at the right moment, thinking, reasoning and explaining with such clarity that makes me feel like she should be much older. I’m attributing it to all the support she has around her, but maybe its because I’ve never met a 14 year old like that in my circle that I’m finding it hard to believe. Even so, I really enjoy the maturity of their relationship. It’s refreshing and something I don’t read very often in stories depicting that age group.
D) I think you give enough for me to raise my suspicions and alarm bells. I did think at first that Kass was being a little too cautious. Since we’re reading from her point of view things naturally are skewed in her favour. Clark may be a normal guy but she could’ve painted him in a different color for us. But I prefer to go with the flow and suspect him with her together. I was also wondering maybe he could be involved with something dodgy but is sincere about Amy. Then wondering if the accept he displayed at the park was something he adopted in a professional setting, but let down and displayed his true self with Amy. I think that would be rather sweet.
A)I’m too suspicious of Clark to formulate much about him. He handled the sibling’s rudeness and outbursts very well, he has two accents (ah okay, I have two too so I guess I can’t hold that against him, but I don’t do shady meet ups in parks) Then his serenading seems like an outlandish way to prove his sincerity. I like that he’s treating Amy nice. I can’t see what benefits he has to latch himself to the Fullbright family if he were a crook, unless he need them for an alibi which is far-fetched.
I like VJ. He speaks to me as a guy who’s been through a lot and whose own father doesn’t believe in him, yet manages to hold himself together and look on the bright side. I’ve seen people in that situation struggle well into their 30s. Thankfully he has Andi and is surrounded by good people. He’s very mature (not sure how old), but I do think Andi is too young.
B)I’m not sure. I’ve never played sims medieval nor am I Christian. I know they do youth groups as I’ve attended some.But I’m not the right person to give my take on this.
C) I find their sibling chat very realistic. The way Andi opens herself more and more as Kass slowly warms up to VJ as a person, how she felt confident to introduce to Kass because Kass is accepting of their relationship. With how Carina reacted to her mom’s boyfriend, if Andi were there she’d probably introduce VJ to Carina only after she had everyone else.
One thing I found hard to believe is Andi’s maturity. I believe she can wait until after marriage, and believe her relationship with VJ. It’s the reasoning and word choices, knowing how to deliver her points and emphasise at the right moment, thinking, reasoning and explaining with such clarity that makes me feel like she should be much older. I’m attributing it to all the support she has around her, but maybe its because I’ve never met a 14 year old like that in my circle that I’m finding it hard to believe. Even so, I really enjoy the maturity of their relationship. It’s refreshing and something I don’t read very often in stories depicting that age group.
D) I think you give enough for me to raise my suspicions and alarm bells. I did think at first that Kass was being a little too cautious. Since we’re reading from her point of view things naturally are skewed in her favour. Clark may be a normal guy but she could’ve painted him in a different color for us. But I prefer to go with the flow and suspect him with her together. I was also wondering maybe he could be involved with something dodgy but is sincere about Amy. Then wondering if the accept he displayed at the park was something he adopted in a professional setting, but let down and displayed his true self with Amy. I think that would be rather sweet.
Arc 4:
What are your thoughts about Davis? Did you like his interlude?
Spoiler
Davis’s interlude is so endearing. I actually liked the entire Arc 5 very much. I think Davis is quite the charmer and he knows it. He’s respectful of Kass’s privacy and I was a little concerned that he might be full of himself as most guys who knows that they’re good looking are, but turns out he’s rather sweet and is a nice bloke. And guys who are good to their grandparents always get a tick on my checkbox. They’ve hit off and I can’t wait to see sparks fly.
Arc 5:
a) Howard drops a bit of a shock on Kass. How do you feel about this father/daughter reunion? What about the introduction of EXCES?
b) Amy struggles with depression. Did that show in the chapters?
c) Kass also exhibits signs of anxiety. Does that show in the chapters?
d) What do you think about Kass' job offer?
Spoiler
A)I would like to know more of Howard’s point of view, but as is most cases when an adult talks to someone who’s younger, they don’t reveal completely or be as honest. So my opinion is completely one sided without the full picture. I’ll be the devil here and say that I always thought as I read / watch scenes like this that it feels like emotional blackmail wherein one person’s feelings become less important / unresolved because of the issue of mortality. Don’t get me wrong. I’ve been in Kass’s situation, it’s just how I’ve felt. I think you’ve captured it all very authentically. Kass’s longing, resentment, at times unable to cope with her overwhelming feelings thus reacting spitefully than responding, not wanting to back down or give her father any leeway, they are all portrayed so well. Her dad diffusing the situation, responding out of desperation, desire to connect is so true too. I love that you deliver slice of life with such detail and authencity. It’s always something I’ve admired of your writing.
B)I can’t say I realised Amy’s depression at all. Now that I reflect upon it you’ve given lots of signs to it, but I wasn’t as invested in Amy’s character so I didn’t dwell on it, neither am I the most sensitive towards people’s feelings. I tend to leave misunderstandings in my wake so I think I’m not too suited to answer this question.
C)With the amount of stress she’s put under, I didn’t get the idea that she has anxiety. She has the feelings of anxiousness, but if you mean the illness where it becomes criplling and hinders her daily life, not exactly. Maybe it’ll get featured later and as you say, they are currently signs. It’s plausible at this stage that it will head in that direction if she doesn’t get enough support.
D)I think it’s perfect to move the story along. I’d like to know what Clark has planned for the Fullbrights and it opens a lot of opportunities should Kass decide to investigate other people on the side. Although it would be better if she straight up asked and got to know them. Still, it’s a fun option to have.
B)I can’t say I realised Amy’s depression at all. Now that I reflect upon it you’ve given lots of signs to it, but I wasn’t as invested in Amy’s character so I didn’t dwell on it, neither am I the most sensitive towards people’s feelings. I tend to leave misunderstandings in my wake so I think I’m not too suited to answer this question.
C)With the amount of stress she’s put under, I didn’t get the idea that she has anxiety. She has the feelings of anxiousness, but if you mean the illness where it becomes criplling and hinders her daily life, not exactly. Maybe it’ll get featured later and as you say, they are currently signs. It’s plausible at this stage that it will head in that direction if she doesn’t get enough support.
D)I think it’s perfect to move the story along. I’d like to know what Clark has planned for the Fullbrights and it opens a lot of opportunities should Kass decide to investigate other people on the side. Although it would be better if she straight up asked and got to know them. Still, it’s a fun option to have.
Other questions:
1. Kass is intended to be a flawed character. She isn't perfect, but I feel this makes her more realistic. Do her flaws annoy you or deepen her character? Or something else entirely? What do you see as her strengths/gifts?
2. Do you have a favorite character so far? Do you have a least favorite character? Who do you want to know more about?
3. Do you have a favorite scene/chapter thus far?
4. Any future predictions based on where you are in the story?
5. What questions do you have for me? Any other thoughts you'd like to share?
Spoiler
1.Kass is a realistic character. I can see her in my older siblings, as a friend, as a person scarred by her past and as a woman still finding herself. Her strengths are also her weakness.
2.I like all your characters equally, except Howard and Clark because they are the ones whose motives are shrouded in mystery. I could say the same for Davis too, but so far, he’s been nothing but understanding and respectful of Kass so I have less reservations about him. I’d want to know more about these three.
3.My favourite scenes are the entire Arc 4, Kass’s meltdown with Gage, Andi talking about her relationship with VJ, Kass and Gage’s verbal spar where Gage follows her with his car.
4.Just that her siblings and Amy might chew Kass out for being cordial with dad. Gage finding out about Davis and realising what he’s missing, or that he needs to take action if he does feel something for Kass. Davis and Kass having something. I also think we’ll see more VJ scenes. But that’s based on nothing.
5.
- You have many stories. Why do you have a stronger connection to KCLKF compared to your other stories?
- Your story has a life of their own and draws readers into the characters’ world. Did you always have such an innate gift for writing? When did you start writing?
- How do you feel about your own writing?
- What advice would you give newbie writers, apart from reading as much as possible?
1.Kass is a realistic character. I can see her in my older siblings, as a friend, as a person scarred by her past and as a woman still finding herself. Her strengths are also her weakness.
2.I like all your characters equally, except Howard and Clark because they are the ones whose motives are shrouded in mystery. I could say the same for Davis too, but so far, he’s been nothing but understanding and respectful of Kass so I have less reservations about him. I’d want to know more about these three.
3.My favourite scenes are the entire Arc 4, Kass’s meltdown with Gage, Andi talking about her relationship with VJ, Kass and Gage’s verbal spar where Gage follows her with his car.
4.Just that her siblings and Amy might chew Kass out for being cordial with dad. Gage finding out about Davis and realising what he’s missing, or that he needs to take action if he does feel something for Kass. Davis and Kass having something. I also think we’ll see more VJ scenes. But that’s based on nothing.
5.
- You have many stories. Why do you have a stronger connection to KCLKF compared to your other stories?
- Your story has a life of their own and draws readers into the characters’ world. Did you always have such an innate gift for writing? When did you start writing?
- How do you feel about your own writing?
- What advice would you give newbie writers, apart from reading as much as possible?
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