The Freezer Bunny Club - A Reading Circle

"_sims_Yimi;c-17570627" wrote:
It was a little confusing at first, but your author’s notes have helped tremendously. I like how in-depth you’ve gone on the history of your world, as well as all the different regions, accents and even the names of different sim-heritages. I’ve never seen something like that before in the sims, so colour me impressed!

Thank you! :blush:

"_sims_Yimi;c-17570627" wrote:
I did notice that, sometimes, your author’s notes describe the thought process and logic behind the actions that Kass or her friends take. Sometimes in greater detail, sometimes in lesser. This is just a personal preference, but I like theorizing about what’s going on in a character’s head and why they are taking the actions that they are taking. By describing it in the notes, you’re presenting your reader with the answer right away. Depending on the type of reader, this could be a good thing or a bad thing.

I addressed that above in my #2 question. Thanks for your input. I appreciate it.

"_sims_Yimi;c-17570627" wrote:


It is, though I’ve had some confusion regarding the number of the arc vs the number of the chapter. For example, arc 1 is the prologue, arc 2 is 1.0 to 1.1, and arc 3 is 1.2 to 2. 5. Is there a reason why you’ve decided to label them like that, instead of making the number correspond to the number of the arc?
Also, cliffhangers are mean and I 100% approve of them. XD

I added the arcs later. I discussed in a former post with another reader - they really are "parts" but they're designed to help break up the chapters into manageable reading chunks. Again, I answered some of this above.

"_sims_Yimi;c-17570627" wrote:

I like her. She’s very relatable, and you’ve portrayed her in a way that makes her believably flawed. Some of your early chapters have hit pretty close to home for me, so now I’m super invested in how this girl deals with her family, and what challenges she’ll face in her future.

Aww... I'm so glad you like her and are invested in the story and the characters.

"_sims_Yimi;c-17570627" wrote:

I’ve noticed that your story is very realistic for a slice-of-life, odd as that sounds. My general experience with household drama is just that, drama. Emotions running wild, people cheating, people running away at the aisle, things like that. But what’s happening with Kass and her family is so believable because it’s something that happens with so many families in real life. It’s relatable, and that’s what drew me in from the beginning.

I never really thought of it that way, but I guess you're right. There is some drama later, but yes, I do try to make the story relatable.

"_sims_Yimi;c-17570627" wrote:

I like your pacing a lot! You put a lot of detail into your writing, f.e. when Kass is observing the people around her down to the smallest detail. It draws you in, like you’re really looking at what she’s looking at.

I'm glad you like the pacing. I'm always worried that people won't enjoy it because it's too long. I don't mind length and honestly, I write until it feels right for me, but not everyone thinks the same way. I'm glad you're drawn in.

"_sims_Yimi;c-17570627" wrote:

I adore the relationship between Kass and her sisters, and her mother using her as emotional support and mediator in the family is quite relatable (although bad parenting in my mind). You portray them all as flawed, but well-meaning (or teenagers being teenagers, haha).

Yay! Yes, it is bad parenting in my opinion too.

"_sims_Yimi;c-17570627" wrote:

Clark: If he really is just a dorky janitor, I feel bad for how Kass’s mother is dragging him in front of her children. The guy clearly likes her, but his awkward introduction and his cluelessness on how to approach them is making all three of them dislike him. If he’s more than that (and he appears to be), I can’t help but wonder what on earth he wants with that family, and Kass’s mother in particular. If she was a super-rich divorcee or widow, I’d totally get it, but… she’s not. Hmm hmm hmm.

Interesting observations. The Clark story (his character and rationale) will be revealed in time.

"_sims_Yimi;c-17570627" wrote:

VJ: We haven’t seen much of him yet at this point, but how he talked to Andi gained him a lot of brownie points with me. He really seems worried for her wellbeing, and the type of guy to care about their girlfriends. If he’d just wanted to get in her pants, that conversation would have been very different. I like how you portrayed him!

Now I want brownies. :lol: He does care.

"_sims_Yimi;c-17570627" wrote:

Well, I have the Jacobans in my own story, and they’re total raving lunatics, so your Peteran side seems much nicer so far.

There are Jacobans in my story too. Kass' grandparents actually identify as Jacoban, as does Gage's foster family.

"_sims_Yimi;c-17570627" wrote:
Can I foist Agravaine onto you? XD

I was reading this earlier at work on my lunch break. I literally LOL'd. :lol: Well, would he like to time travel? :naughty: :tongue:

"_sims_Yimi;c-17570627" wrote:

It did, as it was a natural consequence to them talking about romance. When she thinks about her past crushes, I think I would have liked to see a screenshot accompanying it. Just for extra visuals. But I know you’re not re-taking pictures, so feel free ignore that last part. =)

It was a stylistic choice on my part. I also have so many issues with TS3 running so slow on my computer so it's part laziness too. I made a decision based on a conversation I had with my friend @CathyTea and ran with it. There are times I regret it and times when I'm totally cool with it. Going forward with Story 2 coming... I plan to screenshot everything to the best of my ability.

"_sims_Yimi;c-17570627" wrote:
He’s tall, blonde, toned and handsome. What’s not to like? =P Plus, he seems like a genuinely nice person, and interested in Kass beyond physical attraction. Him letting her stay in the shop and even cooking her breakfast was adorable. Kass needs to learn a thing or two about how entering uninvited can still be considered trespassing XD

Haha... I like that... Tall. Blonde. Handsome. And yes, toned. :smiley: Yep, she could have gotten into serious trouble with trespassing. Whoops!

"_sims_Yimi;c-17570627" wrote:

I’ve already mentioned this in my individual comments, but Howard coming back because of that actually makes me furious. Especially because of his terrible timing, and the fact that he’s still thinking of himself instead of his daughter. Again, this is something that frequently happens in real life, and its relatability is what is making me so angry. Very well written. The EXCES was very interesting. I love how you introduced an illness in the game via Alien experimentation. It immediately made me want to know more about how it came into existence, and the history sims have with aliens. Well done! I think the chapters with Howard were my favourite so far, angry as they made me.

The chapters are definitely meant to evoke emotion. I'm glad you're the kind of reader who can be angry about things, but still enjoy it. I feel that way about certain shows/stories I read. From a writing perspective, I can appreciate it. As the reader, I am ticked off at the characters.

"_sims_Yimi;c-17570627" wrote:

It’s subtle, but it’s there. Amy seems to have a lot of deeply rooted issues, that no doubt were amplified by her husband leaving her and moving on with a new woman. I’m suspecting that she also has self-esteem issues, and that her new beau has her so infatuated that she’s got blinders on in terms of family relations.

It's more obvious later, but I tried to drop hints early on. And yes, you described Amy very well.

"_sims_Yimi;c-17570627" wrote:

Perfect characters are anathema to good stories. Or robots. Take your pick – point is, when someone is flawed, their struggles and hardships become infinitely more interesting.

I couldn't have said it better myself. I love that you used the word 'anathema.' My husband uses it all the time and I laugh every time, not because it's funny, but because I love that he's using a big vocabulary word! :smile:

"_sims_Yimi;c-17570627" wrote:

I’m still in the beginning of the story, but so far her strengths and weaknesses are very believable. I’d like to see her overcome some of her anxiety in the future, or learn to cope with it better. She’s still young, of course, so there’s plenty of time. =) I like how deeply she cares for family, and how she’s willing to lend an ear to her sisters and wants to avoid conflict (except with Gage, haha). That is also her flaw, of course – she’s avoiding conflict to the point of letting people walk over her, especially her mother. I’d like to see her develop into a person that’s more capable of placing boundaries, instead of being roped into playing mediator.

Kass will slowly make progress on herself and mature. It's not quite there yet, but it's coming. I promise. I do think her conflict aversion is both a strength and weakness.

"_sims_Yimi;c-17570627" wrote:
My favourite so far is Kass, I think. I relate to her situation and I want to see her succeed. On the other end, that puts both her mother and father in a competitive race for least-favourite, though currently Howard wins out by a mile. xD Not because they’re badly written, but because I genuinely empathise with the situation. I want to know more about Davis… but something tells me he’ll show up more in the coming chapters, anyway. =)

I'm so glad you like Kass. Not everyone does and I get it. I also understand why you're not thrilled with Howard. Davis will have more screentime/story space soon.

"_sims_Yimi;c-17570627" wrote:
The talk with Howard, and his reveal to Kass. I love how you wrote that scene, as well as the alien disease that you introduced in the chapter. It also makes me want to angrily poke Howard with a pitchfork, so you definitely did something right! xD

I'll sit on the side of the corn field and sip my tea while you chase Howard with the pitchfork. :lol:

"_sims_Yimi;c-17570627" wrote:
Why did you choose to go into such detail about your sim-world and its history? It’s very unique, and I was wondering what gave you the idea. =)

I've always loved worldbuilding. It's my favorite part of writing. Sometimes I spend too much time and detail on it. :grimace: Like I have a whole worldbuilding blog just devoted to Simterra and its star system. It started out as a fun ever-once-in-awhile hobby and became a pretty massive side project. I do try to tie it naturally into the story itself so that it's not all wasted. I'm not sure how much people would nerd out or get excited about all my facts and level of detail, but at the very least it's something fun for me.

Recently, I realized/debated about whether I should've put Simterra on its own continent instead of its own world and faraway star system. I'm not turning back now. It may have made more sense in terms of pioneers and how people ended up there, but... it's water under the bridge. I am continuing to enjoy this never-ending constantly evolving world.