The Kindness Bench for SimLit Writers - For All Games!
What is a kindness bench?
Kindness benches are inspired by the Buddy Bench movement which is in practice in many schools. With Buddy Benches, children who need someone to play with or talk to at lunch sit on the bench, and then others come around to ask them to play and offer friendship.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4QdFeQQHRSQ
With the Kindness Bench for Writers and Storytellers, we provide a thread where writers can go when they're feeling discouraged, frustrated, or in need of a shot of inspiration and encouragement.
With writer's block, game glitches, drops in readership, plot complications, and more, it's easy to become temporarily discouraged when writing. The Kindness Bench offers a way to get back on track so that you're writing again and inspired by the value of your stories.
We invite all Simming writers, bloggers, and storytellers to stop by when they can use some friendly encouragement, and when they've got some friendly encouragement to share with other writers and storytellers.
We welcome writers using any and all versions of Sims!
"AdamsEve1231;14917275" wrote: ]I really resonated with this too. I struggle with anxiety and depression and this is definitely tied to my creativity and imagination when I'm feeling underappreciated. I too sometimes feel intimidated by writers who have a gazillion comments and wonder why they'd want to hear from me, but I do it anyway because I know how I love to get feedback and so I try to comment on nearly everything I read even if it's just a simple, "I like your story!" or "Great chapter." I think all of us, even those who get a lot of comments, can benefit from lending our voice in appreciation for the art form they just created.
Awe you make a good point. I'll try harder to comment on every story.
Also, if you ever need a friendly ear you can feel free to PM me! :)
I've been trying to figure out how to deal emotionally with living on a planet controlled by a species that regularly engages in atrocities and that doesn't seem to be able to make rational collective decisions to solve its problems for...well, I guess my whole life.
And of course that struggle was thrown into sharp relief this week.
So I guess my question is - does my work have meaning? Do my Sims stories contribute anything good and decent to the world? Am I helping somehow, adding some small little bit of goodness or beauty?
You asked recently in Art of Storytelling thread about "How do you define literature?"
For me, much of my definition of literature hinges on the writers' explorations of what it means to live on this planet in human form. Sometimes, the themes are what you mention above: the atrocities that people inflict on each other. Sometimes, the themes might be examining the ways that our biological, evolutionary, chemical, and genetic coding work--and how we can create individually rewarding lives within the context of this coding. Sometimes, themes might simply explore meaning--its presence, its shifting, its lasting, its temporariness, its absence.
When a writer faces--either head-on or obliquely, either through symbol or through direct representation--these questions of what it means to be a person living in a human form (or any form, really) on this planet (or on any planet, really--or even if someone where to explore what it meant to be unmanifested) then, art results.
What does art contribute?
What do we gain when we come across an honest exploration of being?
You might reflect on how you feel when you see something beautiful and significant and something that helps you feel understanding or even helps you consider new questions. How do you feel, towards the work and the writer?
Can you identify the gratitude that you feel?
If so, then realize that I, as a reader, feel that same gratitude towards your work. Would my experience as a human be less if I hadn't read your work? Yes. There is a scene when the darkness begins to respond to and long for the human in your story--I would be less in my understanding and experience if I hadn't read this.
So... if your work contributes to my experience and understanding as a being who is exploring what it means to be alive on this planet in human form, does your work have value?
(Of course that's a rhetorical question--so after your resounding "Yes," see if you can feel, for a moment, tangibly within your body and mind, what that value is.)
I think I've come to realize no one will love Kass the way I do because she's my creation, my baby. But others can come to appreciate her and connect with her, and that is my hope. In the meantime, hang in there. Like someone else said, just because people don't comment doesn't mean they aren't reading/appreciating.
Oh! I have things I want to talk about you with Kass, as I'm reading a few chapters every morning (on my nook, so it's awkward to comment). I'm hoping we can have a very long conversation about her, what she means to you, and what it it about her journey that you love and that means so much to you! I'm hoping that we can have this conversation in our Reading Circle, maybe once we're all caught up!
@AdamsEve1231 I totally agree with you. I do try to comment on most everything I read .. minimally I "like" it .. for a couple of reasons I read quite a few (no brag intended) and it helps me keep track .. but honestly if I do not at least like it then why am I still reading it. I keep an open heart and an open mind .. ty to recognize that there are levels of talent (being real .. only rarely will you find a John Grisham, JK Rowling or a George Orwell in a simlit group) I find it is easy to appreciate the author as they grow. LOL IDK maybe I am too easily impressed but I am ok with it :) Happy simming today dear fellow bench sitters.
@DreamsInPixels Aww, thank you so much! I think I've managed to get a small handful of people obsessed with Gunther, so my mission has been successful! *rubs hands together and makes with the 'Muahaha!' noises* :mrgreen: And yes, I'm still around and currently on Chapter 64, with 65 waiting in the wings as soon as I finish getting the screenshots.
@MedleyMisty The short answer is "yes". The slightly longer answer is: every single little bit of beauty added to the world counters a bit of nastiness. So the more beauty we can add - however small - the more we're balancing everything out. And yes, we can make a difference.
I'm sure most of us are familiar with the starfish story by Loren Eiseley, but in case anyone here isnt:
“Once upon a time, there was a wise man who used to go to the ocean to do his writing. He had a habit of walking on the beach before he began his work.
One day, as he was walking along the shore, he looked down the beach and saw a human figure moving like a dancer. He smiled to himself at the thought of someone who would dance to the day, and so, he walked faster to catch up.
As he got closer, he noticed that the figure was that of a young man, and that what he was doing was not dancing at all. The young man was reaching down to the shore, picking up small objects, and throwing them into the ocean.
He came closer still and called out "Good morning! May I ask what it is that you are doing?"
The young man paused, looked up, and replied "Throwing starfish into the ocean."
"I must ask, then, why are you throwing starfish into the ocean?" asked the somewhat startled wise man.
To this, the young man replied, "The sun is up and the tide is going out. If I don't throw them in, they'll die."
Upon hearing this, the wise man commented, "But, young man, do you not realize that there are miles and miles of beach and there are starfish all along every mile? You can't possibly make a difference!"
At this, the young man bent down, picked up yet another starfish, and threw it into the ocean. As it met the water, he said, "It made a difference for that one.”
It may not seem like it, but every little bit of beauty that people add to the world, be it in the form of writing, art, dance, music, love, laughter and the myriad other things we could define with the word 'beauty'... each little bit of that is like throwing yet one more starfish into the ocean.
@Rainydayz179 @AdamsEve1231 As a person who had a lot of comments back in the day, I can tell you what my experience of it was like.
It was extremely isolating. All that attention brought negative attention and gossip and envy and exclusion. And then even the people who didn't do the gossip thing still didn't really treat me like a real person. I guess that intimidation factor.
I would have loved honest sincere comments from someone who actually wanted to be friends and to really talk.
Which is why I much prefer my experience in the community now. I get very few comments these days, but they are all sincere and real and friendly and they make me feel valued and included. And if there are trolls still hanging around, I don't know about them.
I love your comments on Surreal Darkness, @AdamsEve1231.
I love this thread. I'm enjoying reading what everyone is writing, and the support and inspiration here.
I read a lot of blogs on my phone, and it's endlessly frustrating that the Like button doesn't work for me on my phone. I try to always comment though, even if all I say is great post. I do that even more now that I'm writing my own story.
I'm going to make sure I'm doing what I can to let writers know someone is reading and enjoying their stories. I'm sure a lot of people feel similar to what's being expressed here.
@CathyTea *hugs, many hugs* Thank you, very much a lot.
I took that test you linked a couple pages ago, and it said that my purpose for being creative was to help and to create positive change and that sort of thing
So telling me "Just write for yourself and it shouldn't matter if anyone ever responds" isn't helpful, because I don't write for myself. I need to feel like what I write has some purpose and point outside of myself.
And the only skill I have 10 points in is writing, so that's the only thing I have to give. So it's important to me that it be a worthy present, that there is some point in giving it.
Actually my next highest skill would be photography, at maybe a 4 or 5, and then after that I'm lucky if I can scrounge up 2 points in any of the other skills, lol.
Is this the part you mean, about the darkness and its longing for the human?
I tell the hedges many things. I tell them about the human, about the walks we took together. I tell them about fishing the human out of the deep blue, and what that took from me. I tell them about the human’s one skin, and all the universes it holds inside itself.
I slip through the shadows of the hedgemouths, but they do not move. The maze does not answer.
I arrive at an end of the hedges. The leaves rustle as a breeze blows through.
I thought the human would be here, at the end. I thought that if I made it through the maze I would see the human again, but there’s only a tree and a rock and high stone walls.
I step out of the shadows and into the light, and the light burns and burns, and I scream for the human. I scream and scream and it burns and I run the burning into the tree, over and over, and finally the tree is burning too and it is screaming and I am screaming and we are at an edge, but this is not the end.
The breeze picks up embers from our burning. It carries them to the hedges. The teethleaves begin to blacken and curl in on themselves.
I scream, “Where is the human? Where is it?!”
The blackened hedgemouths open and close, open and close, but only smoke comes out.
The maze does not answer.
Probably not. You said begins. *searches through earlier chapters*
Anyway, what you said really does mean a lot. Thank you.
*squints at the excerpt*
I used too much alliteration in that line with all the sl and sh sounds, didn't I? Makes it too obvious. But I do need the repetition of the imagery of the hedgemouths, and how they have teethleaves that are quite sharp.
Edited it and took out one of the sl words, but left both the sh words. That'll work for now, I guess.
Nope, it didn't. Took out the second sh word too.
@ValoisFulcanelli I like that story. It's how like when I pick up the worms that I see that are still alive on the sidewalk and move them.
It gets to me sometimes though that you can't control how open someone else is to the beauty you create. Not as much as it used to, because I've learned a lot about humans and how their tastes and prejudices and attitudes are formed. Still though, it does kind of hurt knowing how many people will never even give my work a chance.
*squints some more at the excerpt*
Well, I guess it doesn't matter, because what I write is not beautiful or good.
"AdamsEve1231;14917275" wrote: ]I really resonated with this too. I struggle with anxiety and depression and this is definitely tied to my creativity and imagination when I'm feeling underappreciated. I too sometimes feel intimidated by writers who have a gazillion comments and wonder why they'd want to hear from me, but I do it anyway because I know how I love to get feedback and so I try to comment on nearly everything I read even if it's just a simple, "I like your story!" or "Great chapter." I think all of us, even those who get a lot of comments, can benefit from lending our voice in appreciation for the art form they just created.
Awe you make a good point. I'll try harder to comment on every story.
Also, if you ever need a friendly ear you can feel free to PM me! :)
"MedleyMisty;14917883" wrote: As a person who had a lot of comments back in the day, I can tell you what my experience of it was like.
It was extremely isolating. All that attention brought negative attention and gossip and envy and exclusion. And then even the people who didn't do the gossip thing still didn't really treat me like a real person. I guess that intimidation factor.
I would have loved honest sincere comments from someone who actually wanted to be friends and to really talk.
Which is why I much prefer my experience in the community now. I get very few comments these days, but they are all sincere and real and friendly and they make me feel valued and included. And if there are trolls still hanging around, I don't know about them.
I love your comments on Surreal Darkness, @AdamsEve1231.
First of all, thank you.
Secondly, the world has a lot of sucky people who don't know how to treat people like humans. I know you've talked about your experiences before and I thank you for being vulnerable. I also know you've grown from/learned from your experiences and this gives me hope and encouragement. I also just want to give you *hugs* and say I'm glad that things are better now for you.
Thirdly, I agree with you about the difference between tons of negative feedback and comments and a few honest, sincere comments from loyal and kind fans. I would much rather have the latter than the former. It's easier online to be hateful because it's harder to track, but those people are just trolls, and I wonder how many of them would be man or woman enough to criticize me to my face instead of typing spiteful rhetoric behind a computer screen... not that I want anyone to be speaking negatively in any circumstance. But just because it's easier online doesn't mean it doesn't have an emotional, and in some cases, physical impact on a person, especially the person on the receiving end of things. I don't want to diminish anyone's pain or hurtful experiences and words spoken via a screen or in person can be incredibly damaging. It is my hope that we would all continue to be better in our words and our actions toward one another and that people would speak up against the hate and take a stand against the sometimes dark-oblivion of the internet and make a positive change for the better, uniting against the haters.
Thank you for reminding us about the humanity behind the screen. I think you made a comment on this to a degree in a previous comment. Writers of SimLit put a great deal of effort, time, and energy into writing their stories and we, as readers, need to respect that time and show appreciation for the effort (which I try to do through leaving comments, but other people can show in different ways). Readers also need to remember there's a face behind the computer screen and we, writers, aren't machines cranking out story segments left and right and sometimes life outside the Sims intrudes. I think the biggest thing is to treat everyone with dignity and respect on or offline. There's a person behind each screenname and character and story and we need to remember they need love, attention, encouragement, understanding, respect, and support just like everyone else here.
