Missing Tombstone/Urn post Life and Death Pack

I play on PC and have a legacy family that I play between different households (offspring grew up, got married, started own family).  I go back and forth.  While I was playing one household, an elderly parent of the other household died of old age.  I went back to that household to collect the tombstone/urn to place in the cemetery, but cannot find it anywhere.  I see a lot of old posts from years ago about how to find one, but they don't seem to work any more.  I have all EP/GP.  There has got to be an easier way to find them--with the Life and Death pack it should be simpler so we can have a funeral and grave for our deceased sims.