First off your post was hilarious! Thanks for the laugh.
The game is a god awful mess especially the base game and many players like myself mod out all the games annoyances. However the modding scene is a steep slippery slope and mods, will break with every update so get use to refusing updates until you see fit. If that hasn't scared you off heres a few things to look into:
To make a lot of mods work you need: https://scumbumbomods.com/xml-injector
The two best places to find mods that i know of is:
CurseForge: https://www.curseforge.com/sims4/search?page=1&pageSize=20&sortBy=relevancy
Scarletrealm's mod list: https://scarletsrealm.com/the-mod-list-sfw-only-edition/
Some of my go to Creators for fixing the game (just google them):
LittleMissSam
TwistedMexi - Mostly for "better build buy" and their cheat extensions to make building less anoying
Bienchen
Kuttoe
Zero
Short list of mods for realistic gameplay:
MC Command Center - A boat load of utility's from changing lifespans, slowing skill gains, relationships and to preventing sims from doing certain actions - A Must Have!
Wonderful Whims
Carl’s Gameplay Overhaul
Give Sims Some Talent
Have Some Personality Please - Also get the restricted Romance module for those romance problems your having!
Meaningful Stories
Better Exceptions - Helps find broken mods and keeps your mod folder healthy!
This should serve as a good starting point the rest is in your hands to find and explore mods to better suit your tastes.
I also recommend trying to stay clear of any cosmetic mods if you can resist it. They can turn into a pure nightmare fast, also takes up a lot of space in your mods folder.
If that seams all to much for you there is a Life Sim game on the horizon that looks promising. It focuses on realism and quite frankly looks stunning and that would be "Inzoi" - Check it out!
