I always play autonomous. It's more fun when they do unexpected things.
My characters have only had a couple bad dates, but I think that's only been when they accepted a date from another Sim.
Most of their dates go well. Then you get a list of things to make them do to earn the reward. If you do those things, the date will succeed for sure. I don't always do everything though, because they don't need that many ice buckets.
I think the most important thing is to have them do a lot of talking, at least 10 friendly interactions per date. As long as you get a lot of talking in, you shouldn't get the "Don't call me ever" comment.
BTW, even if you get the "Don't call me ever" comment, the other sim will still date your sim again.