For your first paragraph, with the issue, I found a bug report. I think you need to read it yourself and see if it fits your issue. In that case, please click Me Too on the first post in the thread.
https://answers.ea.com/t5/Bug-Reports/OPEN-Sims-wake-up-stand-on-reloading-game-lot/td-p/6802708
There can be many reasons for sims just standing around, one is that they are waiting for another sim to arrive, locked in the interaction started by that sim. If she doesn’t respond to direct orders, do a Save As and reload the game to see if she gets unstuck.
