Can't join secret society

The members don't find me to join. So I never get invited. I've seen them by the tree stump and they run away per usual when I come up. But after getting the surreal buff, and falling asleep as I did on my other sim. They just don't come to me to start the process at all, as they did the other time with my other sim. I've tried this a ton of times. Donate high-quality foods, crystals, metals, etc. Get the best buff then nothing. I went to sleep on my home lot, snuck into dorms to use their beds, even built a bed in the foxbury center just to make sure I'm on campus, in case that's a bug or something. No hooded figures at all. 😞