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"goofygoober25;12939510" wrote:
I am so glad this thread was made. I honestly hope you all find some small comfort here. As for me, I have a lot on my shoulders right now, and I am so worried. This year my mom was in ICU for two weeks and almost died of a severe infection. At one point the doctors said she only had a 15% chance of living. Luckily she made it through but she is just so incredibly sick that I fear I may lose her. She happens to be my best friend second only to my husband. I feel like I am losing my family. My father passed. I do not have contact with my sisters because of their actions. One is a prescription drug addict and constantly steals from or begs for my moms pain medication. Mom just gives in because shes too sick to argue and she suffers for it. My other sister fell in with the wrong people, and shows signs of street drug use and I am all but certain she is pregnant because she is starting to look like it. She refuses to get a job and milks off the government and takes advantage of my mom. I just cannot stand the fact that they constantly take and take and take from her. To top if off, I have had a disability since I was 15 years old (26 now) and have been unable to work because of it. I cannot get any kind of financial help because I have never worked. My husband and I have absolutely no savings to our name because all of it goes to the doctor bills because of psychiatric and health related issues and medication which are vital to my well being (only reason I am simming right now is because a computer and the game were gifted to me as a gift from my grandmother in an attempt for me to reach out to others and have a little fun on the side) I feel so alone because I have no friends besides my husband/mom/grandmother and because of my disability I will never be able to start a family of my own. I feel like I have complained too much, but I just feel like I had to get that off my chest and I am thankful for the listeners. I realize there are people a lot worse off than I am and I am thankful for what I have, but sometimes it feels like too much. Thanks for reading, whoever takes the time to read this. I hope you all find happiness, even if it is a small piece.
@goofygoober25, have you checked out Social Security Disability? Even if you have never worked, you may qualify for benefits under one of your parent's social security numbers. Alternately there is Medicare/ Medicaid and Welfare benefits. I would recommend that you contact 1) a lawyer (they will work pro bono) about what government benefits you may be eligible for; 2) a social services agency, who will point you towards whatever local resources may be available from charity and such and 3) a support group for your disability. You NEED to have social contact outside of your family, even if it is only on-line.
I don't know the extent of your disability, obviously, but if you could join a book club or take a class it would help you meet people. Believe me, nothing can raise your spirits like being social. I'm fairly shy and have trouble approaching new people, but I find that even the smallest things can raise my spirits a great deal. It may sound ridiculous, but you might want to look into volunteering for a charity a few hours every month. Even if you are only making phone calls from home, helping others is a marvel for your self-esteem.
I was badly injured in a car accident many years ago but have recovered a great deal of my mobility - more than my doctors originally told me was possible. The hardest part for me was being forced to retire from my career - I was very lucky to have loved my job. I was also lucky enough to have excellent insurance and was able to find some really good doctors. So I can empathize with your situation to a certain extent. Getting help or getting out of the house to socialize may seem like an insurmountable mountain, but I have learned that what looks like a mountain ahead of you usually turns into a molehill once you have done it and it is in the past.
I hope you are feeling better soon.- chrisbrem111 years agoSeasoned Ace@rosemow you are the most amazing and caring person on these forums and what an awesome idea to put this up here I am sure you will give comfort to those who are going through tough times. You have supported me through my tough times, so glad to have you around rose.
To everyone, Hi! :) Just want to let you all know that the support network here is amazing, special thoughts go out to you all and hope things get better for you all. *hugs*
Big special hugs to rose! <3 - FairyHappy2211 years agoSeasoned AceThank you @rosemow for starting this thread. I think it is a great place to come and vent about life's troubles. And thank you everyone for your kind words to me regarding my post. :smile: )
- It would be great if you took pre ged classes and got your GED @goofygoober27. It would be great for both yourself and also for you to feel that you were honouring your Mum too. It is hard when health problems can make studying hard some days. I am sorry that your Mum is deteriorating after she improved a little. I hope that you will continue to have many special times just being with her, loving her and caring for her. :)
- Going through a few rough seas right now. Main issue is that I've had to share my husband with his "other family" for the past four years...other family being his mother and brother, both disabled. Brother has physical and mental health issues, went through some time in lockdown but has been in a "supportive home environment" with 3 other adults in recovery and is doing very well, but my husband does help him now and then by taking him on errands or to shop, or they'll go out for a "boys night out." As for his mom, she's in long-term skilled nursing care but we have to do her laundry because she's allergic to the detergent they use there, and he also spends several days a week with her helping her with other things. So I sometimes feel like I'm lowest priority around here, and it hurts. We've been married 23 years, and I sometimes wonder if we'll make it to 25 at this rate. We did get to go to a comedy show on Saturday night, and this week we're getting away to the Wine Country for a couple of days, so maybe having him to myself for much of the week will help us get back on a better footing as a married couple.
- I too am really really grateful for this thread right now.
Recently I've had some serious weights on my shoulders which I haven't felt like I've been able to share with anyone.. But this thread seems like a good place to offload hard stuff.
My dad has had major depression and has been an alcoholic (and occasional domestic abuser) for as long as I can remember. Recently he organised a travel holiday for himself without telling any of us, and he went to Sri Lanka, Singapore and America which costed him almost $10,000 - he has put all the money on credit card so now my family is in a huge debt for a trip Dad organised only for himself.
When he came back he and my Mum talked things out and I thought their relationship/our family was getting better. I thought maybe dad would get the help he needs and things could be normal and happy for once in my life.
But about a week ago we discovered my dad has been having an affair with a girl in her 20's (he is well into his 50s) and that he had been cheating on my mum for about 4 months. Seeing as he has been kicked out of the house, we now have virtually no money as my Mum only works part-time.
So now my parents are in the throws of a split, I've lost all respect for my dad, funds are low - and I haven't really felt like I could share this with anyone. Thanks so much for making this thread, even if nobody replies to this I feel so much better having expressed some of the hard stuff I have been going through.
This is a really amazing idea and it's so important for everyone to feel like they have people to talk to. If anybody has something weighing them down right now I will be here to listen :) We all go through stuff and life is never ever easy.
<3 stay strong everyone <3 "stilljustme2;12943060" wrote:
Going through a few rough seas right now. Main issue is that I've had to share my husband with his "other family" for the past four years...other family being his mother and brother, both disabled. Brother has physical and mental health issues, went through some time in lockdown but has been in a "supportive home environment" with 3 other adults in recovery and is doing very well, but my husband does help him now and then by taking him on errands or to shop, or they'll go out for a "boys night out." As for his mom, she's in long-term skilled nursing care but we have to do her laundry because she's allergic to the detergent they use there, and he also spends several days a week with her helping her with other things. So I sometimes feel like I'm lowest priority around here, and it hurts. We've been married 23 years, and I sometimes wonder if we'll make it to 25 at this rate. We did get to go to a comedy show on Saturday night, and this week we're getting away to the Wine Country for a couple of days, so maybe having him to myself for much of the week will help us get back on a better footing as a married couple.
Hello @stilljustme2 It is very caring of your husband to care for and support his mother and brother. I hope that your time away at the Wine Country will be a special time where you can enjoy a special time of being together. Perhaps you can find times through each week where you make time where you can enjoy doing things together that you both have fun doing."FawnFox;12943083" wrote:
I too am really really grateful for this thread right now.
Recently I've had some serious weights on my shoulders which I haven't felt like I've been able to share with anyone.. But this thread seems like a good place to offload hard stuff.
My dad has had major depression and has been an alcoholic (and occasional domestic abuser) for as long as I can remember. Recently he organised a travel holiday for himself without telling any of us, and he went to Sri Lanka, Singapore and America which costed him almost $10,000 - he has put all the money on credit card so now my family is in a huge debt for a trip Dad organised only for himself.
When he came back he and my Mum talked things out and I thought their relationship/our family was getting better. I thought maybe dad would get the help he needs and things could be normal and happy for once in my life.
But about a week ago we discovered my dad has been having an affair with a girl in her 20's (he is well into his 50s) and that he had been cheating on my mum for about 4 months. Seeing as he has been kicked out of the house, we now have virtually no money as my Mum only works part-time.
So now my parents are in the throws of a split, I've lost all respect for my dad, funds are low - and I haven't really felt like I could share this with anyone. Thanks so much for making this thread, even if nobody replies to this I feel so much better having expressed some of the hard stuff I have been going through.
This is a really amazing idea and it's so important for everyone to feel like they have people to talk to. If anybody has something weighing them down right now I will be here to listen :) We all go through stuff and life is never ever easy.
Hello @FawnFox I am so sorry to hear about all that you are going through. I send lots of special thoughts to you. It is good that you have shared here about what you are going through, for you have us here to be thinking about you. I am glad that it has helped you to express how you are feeling and what you are going through. Please know that I will keep you in my thoughts, and are here to listen to you whenever you want to write.- rosemow, Thank you for creating such an important thread! i hope plently of people find the encouragement they need from this. There's lots of bad going on in the world and it's really amazing to see that some people still care about others :) xx
"stilljustme2;12943060" wrote:
Going through a few rough seas right now. Main issue is that I've had to share my husband with his "other family" for the past four years...other family being his mother and brother, both disabled. Brother has physical and mental health issues, went through some time in lockdown but has been in a "supportive home environment" with 3 other adults in recovery and is doing very well, but my husband does help him now and then by taking him on errands or to shop, or they'll go out for a "boys night out." As for his mom, she's in long-term skilled nursing care but we have to do her laundry because she's allergic to the detergent they use there, and he also spends several days a week with her helping her with other things. So I sometimes feel like I'm lowest priority around here, and it hurts. We've been married 23 years, and I sometimes wonder if we'll make it to 25 at this rate. We did get to go to a comedy show on Saturday night, and this week we're getting away to the Wine Country for a couple of days, so maybe having him to myself for much of the week will help us get back on a better footing as a married couple.
Is there one evening a week you can fit in an after-work drink? That's what my husband and I started doing a few years ago when we realized we'd been losing our own relationship over the years in the middle of working and raising kids and his mother's failing health. It's been on and off as a "date" at times, depending on other family members' health -- sometimes we've simply had to have one of us home, period -- but it's helped, even if we *do* end up talking about work and family most of the time -- at least we're doing it in an "us" space. I do think that all couples go through this; we all just try to put on a good face for the world.
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