4th of July 2015 ***WALKTHROUGH***
Monetization Liberation Pt. 1
Auto starts
Homer: It's the 4th of July! Time to grab my secret stash of illegal fireworks from their hiding place!
Lisa: You kept a box of fireworks hidden behind the basement furnace?
Homer: Yes, but, see, I put this this heavy can of gasoline on top of the box, so that if any ka-booms happened, the explodey parts wouldn't be able to get out. Safe!
Lisa: You're a nuclear safety engineer, right?
Homer: ...*Long Pause*
Homer: Yes.
Lisa: You had to think about that a long time.
Homer: I did. Anyway, time to “inspect” some of these little guys in the backyard! Ka-boom!
Task: Make Homer “Safety Inspect” Fireworks
Time: 4h
Lisa: You're not really “inspecting” those fireworks so much as you are “lighting them with a match held in your teeth.”
Homer: That's how the pros do it.
Homer: Anyway, the only way to properly test fireworks is to set off so many the sky shines like a beacon!
Kang: ...a beacon that is easily noticeable by any Class IX Rigellian Battle Cruisers that happen to be passing through your pathetic solar system!
Monetization Liberation Pt. 2
Lisa starts
Lisa: Kodos!
Kang: It's Kang! Not all Rigellians look alike, you know. That's super-insulting. Super-duper-times-infinity insulting, oh tiny human intellect!
Lisa: Sorry. Kind of sensitive about that, aren't you?
Kang: Silence! *Long Pause* Please.
Kang: Just because your vile species is about to be death-rayed out of existence, that's no reason for me to be rude. So, please be silent, you insignificant worm.
Lisa: You're going to destroy our planet? Why?
Kang: That series of explosions you just sent up is Intergalactic Signal Light Morse Code for “please obliterate my irrelevant planet immediately.”
Lisa: We take it back! Dad, tell the nice alien we take it back!
Lisa: Dad?
Task: Make Lisa Try to Solve the Latest Crisis
Time: 4h
Location: Simpson Home
Task: Make Homer Play Happy Little Elves
Time: 4h
Monetization Liberation Pt. 3
Kang starts
Lisa: Dad!
Homer: Huh? Oh, sorry, sweetie. I was just playing the “Happy Little Elves” game on my phone. It's super-addictive.
Kang: I know, right? So good...
Homer: I didn't realize aliens played it too!
Kang: It just came out in the Palm O.S. app store two days ago. For some reason, we always get stuff late.
Lisa: Uh, maybe because nobody still uses Palm phones.
Kang: All on Rigel use Palm! Palm is the superior form of mobile telephony! All hail Palm!
Kang: Now I must use my Palm to program in the coordinates for the death ray strike! Prepare to perish!
Task: Make Kang Activate the Death Ray
Time: 4h
Monetization Liberation Pt. 4
Kang starts
Kang: Okay, Kang. Time to program that death ray. Work, work, work.
Kang: Hmm... maybe just a few minutes with the Happy Little Elves game first. Just a quick visit to my town. Then, I'll get some serious work done.
Homer: Look at Kang's town! He's been playing just two days, and it's already way cooler than mine!
Homer: He must be spending a fortune! And spending lots of money to rush builds is a form of cheating.
Homer: Er, but not when you do it, Sky Finger. Go on splashing that cash.
Task: Make Homer Trash Talk a Fellow Gamer
Time: 12h
Kang: What's this? A message from a fellow Happy Little Elves player?
Kang: Wow. That is... a whole lot of misspelled profanity.
Monetization Liberation Pt. 5
Kang starts
Kang: How dare you question my spending habits, human spendthrift! Now I will program my death ray to wipe your kind from the galaxy!
Homer: Weren't you supposed to do that hours ago?
Kang: I know! But this holiday event demands the constant attention of my vastly superior intelligence! Blast these mobile games!
Homer: Hey! If we're elf-friends we can gift each other berries to get through the event faster! I can't seem to buy them anymore.
Marge: I had to put the parental locks on. You kept maxing out the credit cards!
Task: Make Homer Friend Request Kang
Time: 2h
Homer: Look, Lisa! Kang friended me! You remember Kang, right?
Lisa: Big green guy? About to murder you and everyone you love?
Professor Frink: Great glayvin! If Kang friended Homer, there may be a way to use the connection to hack into the Rigellian Master Computer!
Lisa: You mean, like they did in “Independence Day?” Wasn't that the dumbest plot point in an already-dumb movie?
Professor Frink: It certainly was! I hope it works as implausibly for us as it did for them!
Monetization Liberation Pt. 6
Lisa starts
Professor Frink: Good news! I have cloned Homer's account to every mobile device in Springfield! And loaded them all with elf berries.
Professor Frink: If we all spam Kang's phone with elf berries, we can crash the alien computer network!
Lisa: Quick, everyone! Execute this idiotic plan that was devised by lazy writers who have absolutely no clue how computers work!
Lisa: They're unwillingness to come up with a more believable twist to this story may just save us all!
Task: Make Springfielders Send Kang Elf Berries
Time: 4h
Location: Brown House
On job start:
Kang: What's this? An influx of elf berries!
Kang: I'll use them to buy more gold, usurious exchange rate be damned!
Monetization Liberation Pt. 7
Kang starts
Kang: Great Krandor's tentacles! The influx of elf berries has overloaded my entire system! Not that that makes any sense whatsoever!
Lisa: Look, Kang's UFO is falling from the sky!
Homer: Woo-hoo! We did it!
Homer: Now to do the only thing Americans still do well: channel all our rage at illegal aliens.
Quimby: Hold on, now. There's some paperwork involved in kicking aliens out of the country. Shouldn't require more than fifteen years or so.
Kang: Foolish humans! It was my plan all along to get trapped here by your painfully slow bureaucracy.
Kang: Also, I'm going to take all your jobs! We Rigellians work cheap!
Kang: And with all these elf berries, I shall dominate your Happy Little Elf leaderboards for all time!!!!
Task: Make Kang 8-Hour Evil Laugh
Time: 8h
System Message: For saving Springfield, have a Patriotic Box of Fireworks on the house.
Happy Independence Day
Auto starts on July 4th - Expires July 5th at 9am BST
System Message: Happy Independence Day! Please enjoy these 13 commemorative donuts in honor of the original colonies.
Reward: 13 Donuts.
Homer: Colonies? I thought America was made of states?
George Washington: Do you not care AT ALL about the history of this great country my friends and I fought so hard to create?
Abraham Lincoln: Yes, and that I DIED for?
George Washington: There you go again. Always gotta work the assassination thing into every conversation.
Abraham Lincoln: Well it's true!
George Washington: Okay, we get it!
Auto starts
Homer: It's the 4th of July! Time to grab my secret stash of illegal fireworks from their hiding place!
Lisa: You kept a box of fireworks hidden behind the basement furnace?
Homer: Yes, but, see, I put this this heavy can of gasoline on top of the box, so that if any ka-booms happened, the explodey parts wouldn't be able to get out. Safe!
Lisa: You're a nuclear safety engineer, right?
Homer: ...*Long Pause*
Homer: Yes.
Lisa: You had to think about that a long time.
Homer: I did. Anyway, time to “inspect” some of these little guys in the backyard! Ka-boom!
Task: Make Homer “Safety Inspect” Fireworks
Time: 4h
Lisa: You're not really “inspecting” those fireworks so much as you are “lighting them with a match held in your teeth.”
Homer: That's how the pros do it.
Homer: Anyway, the only way to properly test fireworks is to set off so many the sky shines like a beacon!
Kang: ...a beacon that is easily noticeable by any Class IX Rigellian Battle Cruisers that happen to be passing through your pathetic solar system!
Monetization Liberation Pt. 2
Lisa starts
Lisa: Kodos!
Kang: It's Kang! Not all Rigellians look alike, you know. That's super-insulting. Super-duper-times-infinity insulting, oh tiny human intellect!
Lisa: Sorry. Kind of sensitive about that, aren't you?
Kang: Silence! *Long Pause* Please.
Kang: Just because your vile species is about to be death-rayed out of existence, that's no reason for me to be rude. So, please be silent, you insignificant worm.
Lisa: You're going to destroy our planet? Why?
Kang: That series of explosions you just sent up is Intergalactic Signal Light Morse Code for “please obliterate my irrelevant planet immediately.”
Lisa: We take it back! Dad, tell the nice alien we take it back!
Lisa: Dad?
Task: Make Lisa Try to Solve the Latest Crisis
Time: 4h
Location: Simpson Home
Task: Make Homer Play Happy Little Elves
Time: 4h
Monetization Liberation Pt. 3
Kang starts
Lisa: Dad!
Homer: Huh? Oh, sorry, sweetie. I was just playing the “Happy Little Elves” game on my phone. It's super-addictive.
Kang: I know, right? So good...
Homer: I didn't realize aliens played it too!
Kang: It just came out in the Palm O.S. app store two days ago. For some reason, we always get stuff late.
Lisa: Uh, maybe because nobody still uses Palm phones.
Kang: All on Rigel use Palm! Palm is the superior form of mobile telephony! All hail Palm!
Kang: Now I must use my Palm to program in the coordinates for the death ray strike! Prepare to perish!
Task: Make Kang Activate the Death Ray
Time: 4h
Monetization Liberation Pt. 4
Kang starts
Kang: Okay, Kang. Time to program that death ray. Work, work, work.
Kang: Hmm... maybe just a few minutes with the Happy Little Elves game first. Just a quick visit to my town. Then, I'll get some serious work done.
Homer: Look at Kang's town! He's been playing just two days, and it's already way cooler than mine!
Homer: He must be spending a fortune! And spending lots of money to rush builds is a form of cheating.
Homer: Er, but not when you do it, Sky Finger. Go on splashing that cash.
Task: Make Homer Trash Talk a Fellow Gamer
Time: 12h
Kang: What's this? A message from a fellow Happy Little Elves player?
Kang: Wow. That is... a whole lot of misspelled profanity.
Monetization Liberation Pt. 5
Kang starts
Kang: How dare you question my spending habits, human spendthrift! Now I will program my death ray to wipe your kind from the galaxy!
Homer: Weren't you supposed to do that hours ago?
Kang: I know! But this holiday event demands the constant attention of my vastly superior intelligence! Blast these mobile games!
Homer: Hey! If we're elf-friends we can gift each other berries to get through the event faster! I can't seem to buy them anymore.
Marge: I had to put the parental locks on. You kept maxing out the credit cards!
Task: Make Homer Friend Request Kang
Time: 2h
Homer: Look, Lisa! Kang friended me! You remember Kang, right?
Lisa: Big green guy? About to murder you and everyone you love?
Professor Frink: Great glayvin! If Kang friended Homer, there may be a way to use the connection to hack into the Rigellian Master Computer!
Lisa: You mean, like they did in “Independence Day?” Wasn't that the dumbest plot point in an already-dumb movie?
Professor Frink: It certainly was! I hope it works as implausibly for us as it did for them!
Monetization Liberation Pt. 6
Lisa starts
Professor Frink: Good news! I have cloned Homer's account to every mobile device in Springfield! And loaded them all with elf berries.
Professor Frink: If we all spam Kang's phone with elf berries, we can crash the alien computer network!
Lisa: Quick, everyone! Execute this idiotic plan that was devised by lazy writers who have absolutely no clue how computers work!
Lisa: They're unwillingness to come up with a more believable twist to this story may just save us all!
Task: Make Springfielders Send Kang Elf Berries
Time: 4h
Location: Brown House
On job start:
Kang: What's this? An influx of elf berries!
Kang: I'll use them to buy more gold, usurious exchange rate be damned!
Monetization Liberation Pt. 7
Kang starts
Kang: Great Krandor's tentacles! The influx of elf berries has overloaded my entire system! Not that that makes any sense whatsoever!
Lisa: Look, Kang's UFO is falling from the sky!
Homer: Woo-hoo! We did it!
Homer: Now to do the only thing Americans still do well: channel all our rage at illegal aliens.
Quimby: Hold on, now. There's some paperwork involved in kicking aliens out of the country. Shouldn't require more than fifteen years or so.
Kang: Foolish humans! It was my plan all along to get trapped here by your painfully slow bureaucracy.
Kang: Also, I'm going to take all your jobs! We Rigellians work cheap!
Kang: And with all these elf berries, I shall dominate your Happy Little Elf leaderboards for all time!!!!
Task: Make Kang 8-Hour Evil Laugh
Time: 8h
System Message: For saving Springfield, have a Patriotic Box of Fireworks on the house.
Happy Independence Day
Auto starts on July 4th - Expires July 5th at 9am BST
System Message: Happy Independence Day! Please enjoy these 13 commemorative donuts in honor of the original colonies.
Reward: 13 Donuts.
Homer: Colonies? I thought America was made of states?
George Washington: Do you not care AT ALL about the history of this great country my friends and I fought so hard to create?
Abraham Lincoln: Yes, and that I DIED for?
George Washington: There you go again. Always gotta work the assassination thing into every conversation.
Abraham Lincoln: Well it's true!
George Washington: Okay, we get it!
