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6 years ago

A Simpsons Christmas Special: 'Twas the Pageant Before Christmas Walkthrough

Christmas is Canceled Intro

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Marge: Homer! The Krusty Kristmas Special is starting, and we can't get the new TV to work.
Homer: Switch to HDMI 2. Or HDMI 5. It's one of those.
Bart: We tried both! You set up the TV wrong, genius.
Homer: Aren't you kids supposed to be good with technology? That's the whole point of us making you.
Lisa: This TV uses apps, right? Maybe if I download one...
Homer: For the love of God, don't!
Lisa: “Downloading. Time remaining: one hour, fifty-three minutes.” Ew, boy.
Bart: Homer set up the Internet wrong.
Homer: It's not my fault! I never asked to live in a smart home, surrounded by a million fragile devices I can't, and/or won't, learn to set up.
Marge: Well, who needs TV? Maybe we can sit around and tell each other Christmas stories.
Homer: ...
Homer: Let's try HDMI 4. That might work...
Marge: Who wants to go first?

Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

Christmas is Canceled Pt. 1

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Lisa: Once there was an old billionaire who loved nothing but money, and thought Christmas was a humbug.

Task: Make Lisa Tell a Cliché Story
Time: 6s
Location: Simpson House

On job start:
Homer: Wait. Is this a take on “A Christmas Carol”?
Lisa: Well, I'm going to update it. I'll make Mr. Burns the lead, and have all the ghosts and side characters played by Springfield regulars.
Homer: Lisa, sweetie, if Daddy has to sit through one more adaptation of “A Christmas Carol”, Daddy will blow his brains all over the wall.
Homer: You don't want that for Daddy, do you?
Lisa: Not really, no.
Homer: Then let's all agree, as a society, that “A Christmas Carol” is a lemon that's been squeezed dry.
Homer: It's given up everything it has to offer, and should be fed into the disposal and obliterated from memory.
Lisa: Fine. I'll tell a different story.
Homer: Atta girl. And just a warning: at the mention of ghost one, or anything resembling a Tiny Tim, I run screaming from the room. ‘Kay? Great.

Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

'Twas the Pageant Before Christmas Intro

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Skinner: This afternoon we will hold auditions for our annual Christmas Pageant! See you there, budding thespians!
Skinner: As participation is mandatory for all students, we will see you bullies, jocks, and burnouts there, too.
Lisa: Excuse me, Principal Skinner, but-
Skinner: You object to the word “Christmas” because of its exclusionary religious connotations? Very well. We'll call it the “Holiday Pageant”.
Lisa: Great. But--
Skinner: The word “Pageant” evokes beauty pageants, which are sexist and outdated? Fine. Then we'll call it the “Holiday Thing”.
Lisa: You fold pretty quick in the face of controversy, huh?
Skinner: It's my main qualification for this job.

Task: Make Lisa Audition for the Holiday Thing
Time: 4h
Location: Springfield Elementary or Brown House
Task: Make Milhouse Audition for the Holiday Thing
Time: 4h
Location: Springfield Elementary or Brown House
If the user has Ralph: Task: Make Ralph Audition for the Holiday Thing
Time: 4h
Location: Springfield Elementary or Brown House

Skinner: The cast list will be posted later today. Your part will be assigned according to the degree of stink your parents will raise if you have few lines.
Homer: Hello, sir. I am the handyman you hired to build your outdoor stage. My name is Roger.
Homer: Roger? I want a cool name!
Homer: Like I said, my name is Jackhammer Machinegun.
Skinner: What a very cool name. So have you finished building the stage?
Homer: No. Instead of doing my actual job, I became a snow plow driver, or an astronaut, or something. Happens all the time.
Homer: Plus I lost the money you gave me for supplies.
Skinner: Mr. Machinegun, how could you! The Holiday Thing is ruined!

Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

'Twas the Pageant Before Christmas Pt. 1

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Skinner: Children, the play is canceled. We have no stage. And if I'm being honest, we never really found our Petey the Reluctant Elf, either.
Milhouse: I'm doing the best I can. Petey is a complex character!
Lisa: We can't give up! If we need more money to finish the stage, there must be a way to get it!
Lisa: Maybe we could hold a fundraiser. A winter carnival!
Skinner: Good thinking, Lisa! You truly are the hero of this story that you made up yourself.
Skinner: Now go fold some programs while I ponder Lisa's amazing idea!

If the user has Skinner: Task: Make Skinner Brainstorm Moneymaking Schemes
Time: 4h
Location: Springfield Elementary or Brown House
Task: Make Homer Use a Saw Like a Hammer
Time: 4h
Location: Springfield Elementary or Brown House
Task: Collect Programs

Skinner: Lisa, your upbeat problem-solving has truly saved the day. Hooray for Lisa!
Bart: Oh, come on. Is this whole story nothing more than a love letter to yourself?
Lisa: It's my story, I'll tell it how I want.
Marge: Sweetie, your brother's right. For a story to be interesting, the hero needs to experience setbacks.
Maggie: *agreeing sucking noises*
Lisa: Well, I LIKE stories where I'm doing amazing things and everyone says how great I am.
Marge: ...
Lisa: Fine. One setback, coming up.

Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

'Twas the Pageant Before Christmas Pt. 2

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Skinner: I've found the perfect centerpiece for our winter carnival fundraiser -- a roasted chestnuts cart!
Skinner: Oh, how the children will line up for the earthy, mild flavor of warm chestnuts!
Lisa: Uh, kids today don't really think of chestnuts as “yummy”. Or even as “food”.
Skinner: Nonsense! Chewy, nondescript chestnuts are the ultimate holiday treat!
Lisa: We could coat them in sugar, I guess. And serve them on a bed of sugar, with sugar sauce on the side...
Skinner: Fine. Yes. Do that. And ruin my delightfully bland chestnuts.

Task: Place Hot Roasted Chestnuts Cart
Task: Make Children Sell Chestnuts
Time: 4h
Location: Hot Roasted Chestnuts Cart
Task: Collect Programs

Skinner: In a development no one could have possibly predicted, today's children have zero interest in hot chestnuts.
Lisa: ...
Skinner: It's time to give the kids the Christmas treats they crave -- figgy pudding and steaming bowls of wassail.
Lisa: Sir, that's a horrible idea.
Skinner: I've spent the last thirty Christmases alone with my elderly mother. I THINK I know what kids want!

Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

'Twas the Pageant Before Christmas Pt. 3

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Lisa: Ralph, have you been working on your line for the play?
Ralph: I like pretending where I'm a Dracula driving a bulldozer.
Lisa: Me too, Ralph. Me too. But in THIS play, you're playing a mouse, right? And when you come on stage, your line is...?
Ralph: “Hello! I have pointy teeth and a cape and have you seen my bulldozer?”
Lisa: Focus, Ralph! It's a very important line. You explain the true meaning of Christm-- I mean, the Holidays -- to everyone. Try again...
Ralph: “A robber who doesn't like Draculas stole my bulldozer and now I'm sad.”
Lisa: Okay, everybody. Take five. I need to think. Let's all... ride the carousel... or something.

Task: Make Lisa Ride the Carousel
Time: 8h
Location: Christmas Carousel
If the user has Ralph: Task: Make Ralph Ride the Carousel
Time: 8h
Location: Christmas Carousel
Task: Make Milhouse Ride the Carousel
Time: 8h
Location: Christmas Carousel
Task: Make Homer Ride the Carousel
Time: 8h
Location: Christmas Carousel
Task: Collect Programs

Lisa: This whole play is riding on Ralph! If he doesn't explain the true meaning of the Holidays, it's ruined!
Skinner: I'm confused. What exactly IS the meaning of the Holidays?
Skinner: I mean, I get what Christmas is about. But “the Holidays” just seems kind of... nonspecific.
Lisa: I've never been entirely clear on that, myself. Something about brotherhood and good will?
Skinner: No, that's Christmas.
Lisa: It can be the meaning of non-denominational, inoffensive pseudo-celebrations as well!
Skinner: You know, we could just cancel the--
Lisa: We're not canceling the Holiday Thing! The holidays aren't the same without the Thing!
Lisa: Let's just do another dress rehearsal. I'm sure all our problems will be solved through some inexplicable, non-denominational holiday miracle.

Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

'Twas the Pageant Before Christmas Pt. 4

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Milhouse: Behold! An angel has appeared to tell us all the meaning of the Holidays!
Angel Lisa: Lo! I bring tidings unto thee! But to clarify, I'm not comfortable with the word “angel”. Think of me as a non-religious “spirit”.
Milhouse: So... you're a g-g-g-g-ghost?!
Ralph: I'm a Dracula!
Angel Lisa: Forget it. Call me an angel if it's so important to you. Just shut up and harken to my stupid message of hope.

Task: Make Angel Lisa Give Proclamations on High
Time: 4h
Task: Collect Programs

Angel Lisa: Hear me, Springfield! We celebrate the Holidays because on this day a child was born.
Angel Lisa: A child who, depending on your belief system, was either the son of God, or a prophet, or just a really nice guy.
Angel Lisa: And either to celebrate his birth, or because it's Hanukkah, or maybe the Winter Solstice is important to you, we should all be nice to one another right now.
Skinner: That's it! The angel has saved the play! She's a hero!
Bart: She sure is! What a gal, reminds me of that amazing sister of mine!
Bart: Whoa, whoa! Hold on a minute. In what universe would I ever say anything nice about you?
Homer: Yeah, I'm not buying it, Lis.
Lisa: It's my story! Let me tell it how I want.
Marge: Lisa, you can't just change an established character's personality whenever you want. It's sloppy writing.
Lisa: The point of the story is, a holiday miracle saved the play.
Bart: Phew. I am so relieved. I was really worried the boring children's play would have to be cancelled.

Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

'Twas the Pageant Before Christmas Pt. 5

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Skinner: Lisa, the play's message has been saved, and it's sure to be a colossal smash. But we still don't have a stage.
Homer: I'm working on it!
Skinner: Are you?
Homer: No. But I AM swinging this hammer, which sure makes it LOOK like I'm working. To me, at least.
Skinner: Lisa, we need more money, which necessitates a large Christmas Market, which you are now in charge of setting up.
Bart: Hah! That'll teach that do-gooder to do good!
Homer: So Little Miss Perfect gets her comeuppance. I take back what I said, Lisa. This is a great story!
Skinner: I know it's a lot to ask, but you ARE, strangely, the only character in this tale with any intelligence. So...
Lisa: *sigh* Okay fine, I'll see what I can do.

Task: Place Fair Booth
Task: Make Lisa Setup Fair Booths
Time: 8h
Location: Fair Booth
If the user has Ralph and Milhouse: Task: Make Ralph Ride the Carousel
Time: 8h
Location: Christmas Carousel
If the user has Ralph and Milhouse: Task: Make Milhouse Ride the Carousel
Time: 8h
Location: Christmas Carousel
Task: Make Homer Ride the Carousel
Time: 8h
Location: Christmas Carousel
Task: Collect Programs

Homer: Good news, I got the stage all fixed. I'll just be taking my last paycheck.
Milhouse: He's lying! The stage has been fine all along, he's just been spending all our money on eggnog!
Homer: *burp* I have no idea what he's *buuuurp* talking *buuuuuuuurp* about.
Skinner: The curtain goes up in five minutes, children. I hope you all remember your lines?
Ralph: Hello! I am not a Dracula, and I don't have a bulldozer!
Skinner: Better, Ralph. Still terrible, but better.

Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

'Twas the Pageant Before Christmas Pt. 6

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Milhouse: Now Lisa, when we do our kiss scene, make sure you don't get TOO caught up in it, okay?
Milhouse: Because I have a feeling I'm a really good kisser. That's what Puppy Goo Goo says.
Lisa: WHAT kiss scene? I'm playing a ballerina, and you're a soldier.
Milhouse: Love can blossom in the strangest places, huh?
Lisa: If you try to kiss me, I'll push you off the stage.
Milhouse: How did you know that was one of my recurring nightmares?!

Task: Make Children Act in an Ensemble
Time: 12h
Location: Pageant Stage

Sideshow Mel: I declare Lisa's Holiday Thing the finest theatrical event ever!
Skinner: Thank you all for your three-hour-long standing ovation. We owe everything to Lisa Simpson! Let's hear it for her!
Bart: Boo! Boooooo!
Marge: Bart, be nice. The story's almost over. It IS almost over, isn't it, Lisa?
Lisa: No. Next, the play goes to Broadway, sweeps the Tonys and goes on tour.
Marge: ...
Lisa: ...but I guess we can safely skip that part.

Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP

Christmas is Canceled Pt. 2

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Marge: What a lovely, interesting, un-tedious story! Don't you agree, Homer?
Homer: *banging on the TV* Work, damn you! Show me a show! I don't care which one! Anything is better than this family sharing and caring!
Marge: Homer!
Homer: What? Oh, uh right. Loved your story, Lisa. Five stars. I laughed, I cried... I somehow got through it...
Bart: I'm afraid Dad is right, Lisa. Your story was objectively awful. Christmas may never recover.
Lisa: Like you could do better?
Bart: Naturally. Because I know the three elements of a good story: action, violence, and mild cursing.
Bart: Gather round, chumps, as I spin a tale of such Christmas delight, you'll throw Lisa out on the street and forget she ever existed.
Marge: Hmm. I hope it's not THAT good.

Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
  • "roulette4fun;c-2027065" wrote:
    I’ve gotten through the quest but the game doesn’t give you the pageant stage. I’ve even tried reloading the app after deleting it and nothing changes. It’s stuck. Any ideas?

    Have a look at this thread:
    https://forums.ea.com/en/the-simpsons-tapped-out/discussion/236268/where-is-the-pageant-stage#latest