Bart Royale: Prizes and Craftable Walkthrough
Bart of War Pt. 1
Bart starts
Bart: Come on, Milhouse. We're late for gym class.
Milhouse: I don't want to go, Bart.
Milhouse: My head still stings from dodgeball last week.
Bart: Today is floor hockey. It's a whole different kind of sting.
Task: Make Bart Attend Gym Class
Time: 4h
Location: Springfield Elementary
Task: Make Youngsters Attend Gym Class
Time: 4h
Location: Springfield Elementary
On job start:
Bart: This equipment sucks! This hockey stick is a banana taped to a broom handle!
Milhouse: And the hockey puck smells weird.
Bart: It's yesterday's cafeteria special – stuffed beef biscuit!
Willie: Tell Willie when you're through playin'. He'll warm yer puck up for his dinner.
On job end:
Bart: Skinner, you've gotta give us better hockey equipment!
Skinner: Sorry, Simpson. The budget is shot for the year. You'll have to purchase pucks yourself.
Bart: No one tells me to go puck myself! This means war!
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Bart of War Pt. 2
Bart starts
General Bart: First, I'm going to need to do some reconnaissance.
General Bart: I know teachers, and I know they always spend school funds on something for themselves.
General Bart: I just need to sniff it out.
Task: Make General Bart Conduct Commando Raid
Time: 8h
Location: Springfield Elementary
General Bart: A new cappuccino maker, a 4k TV, and a massage chair!?
General Bart: They're blowing the whole school budget on teachers' lounge junk!
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Bart of War Pt. 3
Bart starts
General Bart: Milhouse, get the division together.
Milhouse: Okay, but there aren't many boys around… jock itch outbreak.
General Bart: Tough times demand tough decisions -- you'll have to get the girls, too.
Milhouse: I have a hard time talking to girls.
General Bart: Imagine they're boys who smell good and tell them all to meet at the front of the school.
Task: Make General Bart Rally the Troops
Time: 4h
Location: Springfield Elementary
Task: Make Milhouse Recruit Kids
Time: 4h
Location: Springfield Elementary
On job start:
General Bart: Fellow students! I stand before you today not as the cowabunga kid… but as a reluctant soldier fighting the corruption of our wannabe educators!
General Bart: And what is their lesson? Look out for yourself, at the expense of those you are responsible for.
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Bart of War Pt. 4
Bart starts
General Bart: Alpha Unit, flood the gym. Bravo, egg the teachers' cars. Charlie, set off the sprinklers in the teachers' lounge.
General Bart: Milhouse, you're with me.
Milhouse: Yes! What unit are we?
General Bart: The nuclear unit.
Task: Make General Bart Go to War
Time: 8h
Location: Springfield Elementary
On job start:
Skinner: All the junk you destroyed is covered by insurance, Simpson. You're only helping us get new things.
General Bart: Then you leave me no choice… Milhouse, time to go nuclear!
Milhouse: *whines* Mommy! I got a boo-boo from gym class!
Bart: And the gym floor ate my shorts!
Marge: What? Not your trademark blue shorts?! I'll be taking this to the highest level!
On job end:
Chalmers: SKIN-NNNER! Why am I being barraged with calls from parents bellyaching about the gym?
Skinner: Sir, it's difficult to maintain a proper environment for a physical education class.
Chalmers: I noticed a lot of new contraptions in your teachers' lounge. Trade those in for new dodgeballs, football flags, or whatever these parents are griping about. I'll not have them interrupting my golf day.
Skinner: Yes, sir.
General Bart: Kids beat grown-ups once again! The battle is won, but the war of youth continues!
Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP
RubeTube Pt. 1
Bart starts
Bart: Is that Pyro?
Pyro: Hey kiddo. How ‘bout an autograph? Not yours. Mine.
Bart: I'll pass. What have you been up to?
Pyro: I'm in a competition for a trophy named Luann.
Luann: Oh, hey Chase. We had some fun times…
Luann: Fun, fun times…
Luann: But I'm back with Kirk.
Bart: Oh, man! Out Van Houten'd by a Kirk!
Task: Make Pyro Figure Out What He'll Do Next
Time: 4h
Location: Brown House
Pyro: I need to be more than Luann's ex-lover. It's time I got back into the stunt business.
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
RubeTube Pt. 2
Pyro starts
Pyro: Hey kid, how's the film business around here?
Bart: Pretty dead.
Pyro: Television?
Bart: If Krusty's the best show, you've got a problem.
Pyro: What do people watch!?
Bart: Mostly ViewTube. Here, check out this guy. He makes top ten hits by GETTING hit.
Task: Make Bart Watch a ViewTube Top 10 With Pyro
Time: 1h
Location: Simpson House
Requires: Pyro
Pyro: Airbursts? Flash Pots? Gerbs? Pyrotechnics cost money. How can he afford these?
Bart: He's sponsored and has tons of followers. He makes more money now then you ever did on TV.
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
RubeTube Pt. 3
Pyro starts
Pyro: If any Joe Schmo can film falls, hits, and explosions like this, then I can! I spent years as a stuntman and television performer.
Bart: There's a little more to it than just pointing a camera at yourself…
Pyro: Mmmm…doesn't look like it to me.
Pyro: One question though: Are cameras still as big as a toolbox and sit on your shoulder?
Bart: Here, let's order you a NoPro.
Task: Make Pyro Order a Modern Camera
Time: 8h
Location: Brown House
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
RubeTube Pt. 4
Pyro starts
Pyro: Hey Pyro-maniacs! Pyro here broadcasting my first video.
Pyro: I'm going to show you some classic stunts from my day.
Pyro: None of this snorting cinnamon or taking golf balls to the nards nonsense. No, these stunts could actually kill me!
Pyro: Are you ready to be thrilled!? The heat is on, so let's go!
Task: Make Pyro Perform Stunts
Time: 4h
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
RubeTube Pt. 5
Pyro starts
Pyro: Okay, how do I get this into the tube webs?
Bart: Let's check out what you got.
Bart: *laughs hysterically* You've got the camera pointed at your face the whole time! All we see are your dippy facial expressions.
Bart: You look like you're cleaning up barf and are about to blow chow yourself. I am definitely uploading this!
Pyro: NO!
Task: Make Bart Upload Embarrassing Video
Time: 1h
Location: Simpson House
Pyro: I don't know how I can face my fans now.
Bart: Pyro! You've got two million views already! And a puke sawdust company wants to sign you to a commercial series!
Pyro: Pyro is back!
Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP
Proper Prepping Pt. 1
Lindsey Naegle starts
Prepper Lindsey Naegle: This is it: society has finally giving way to mankind's primal instincts.
Prepper Lindsey Naegle: In these end times, you've either got a go bag, or a toe-tag.
Prepper Lindsey Naegle: And I don't do open-toe footwear!
Task: Make Prepper Lindsey Naegle Get Her Go Bag
Time: 1h
Location: Marketing Agency
Prepper Lindsey Naegle: My go bag has gone south with mold. Everything is ruined!
Prepper Lindsey Naegle: These Kwik-E-Mart Survival Bars say, “Good until 2030”. Apu, I've only had them for three days!
Apu: “Good until 2030” is military time for 8:30 PM. It looks like you need to purchase more Survival Bars.
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Proper Prepping Pt. 2
Lindsey Naegle starts
Prepper Lindsey Naegle: I need to rebuild my entire go bag.
Prepper Lindsey Naegle: I have to hurry before the chaos and destruction of life as we know it begins.
Prepper Lindsey Naegle: Time for my favorite kind of shopping; rapid-fire shopping!
Task: Make Prepper Lindsey Naegle Shoot Around Town
Time: 4h
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Proper Prepping Pt. 3
Lindsey Naegle starts
Prepper Lindsey Naegle: All right, I've got my energy bars, water purifiers, solar-powered radio, solar-powered toothbrush, solar-powered cooler, and solar-powered blender.
Prepper Lindsey Naegle: Lindsey Naegle doesn't do any day, doomsday or otherwise, without a frozen sangria.
Prepper Lindsey Naegle: I've just got to fit all that, my defensive weapons, and some clean underwear into this bag.
Task: Make Prepper Lindsey Naegle Pack Her Go Bag
Time: 4h
Location: Marketing Agency
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Proper Prepping Pt. 4
Lindsey Naegle starts
Prepper Lindsey Naegle: It's go time!
Prepper Lindsey Naegle: Oof, this is uh, heavy.
Prepper Lindsey Naegle: I'll just use this tire jack to help it on.
Prepper Lindsey Naegle: Good…to…go.
Task: Make Prepper Lindsey Naegle Bug Out
Time: 8h
Prepper Lindsey Naegle: Okay, this isn't going to work.
Prepper Lindsey Naegle: I'll just wait it out in the Marketing Agency penthouse.
Prepper Lindsey Naegle: The paranoid CEO had it built to withstand a 99% chance of his overthrow.
Prepper Lindsey Naegle: It did a pretty good job until he used the employees' restroom. That's where they always get you.
Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP
Growing Pains Pt. 1
Lisa starts
Lisa: Argh! The ultra-limited-edition Malibu Stacy Retro doll sold out online before it was even available!
Lisa: How can I show I'm cool and hip, like my classmates, without it?
Marge: Lisa, that's the third online rage out you've had this week.
Marge: Girls, pack your bags we're going “Outing”.
Lisa: I think you mean “on an outing”.
Marge: I meant what I said. We're revisiting our Outlands home to get back to what's important in life.
Maggie: *happy squeal*
Task: Make Simpsons Girls Go “Outing”
Time: 2h
Location: Outlands Simpsons House
Lisa: This place is disgusting.
Marge: Sometimes disgusting can be fun! Did Marge Simpson just say that? Yes, she did!
Marge: And look at Maggie -- so cute in just her diaper and spikey hair.
Outlands Maggie: *shifty eyes*
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Growing Pains Pt. 2
Lisa starts
Lisa: There's something disturbing about how easily Maggie “goes feral” whenever we're put in dangerous situations.
Marge: “Goes feral”? Lisa, that is your sister!
Lisa: She just wrestled a honey badger, one of nature's most vicious animals, and scared it off.
Marge: And why did she do it? To get you a nice burrow to sleep in tonight, that's why.
Lisa: It is a cozy burrow. Way to go, Mags.
Outlands Maggie: *shifty eyes*
Task: Make Outlands Maggie Embrace Feral Nature
Time: 24h
Location: Outlands Simpsons House
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Growing Pains Pt. 3
Lisa starts
Lisa: Mom, where's Maggie?
Marge: After she shooed away all the animals, she stays outside all the time now.
Marge: She's in the yard now. Probably looking for butterflies or ladybugs.
Outlands Maggie: *shifty eyes*
Task: Make Outlands Maggie Protect Her Territory
Time: 8h
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Growing Pains Pt. 4
Maggie starts
Outlands Maggie: *threatening stare*
Outlands Baby: *threatening stare*
Lisa: Mom? Did you know there are other babies around here? They don't look too friendly.
Marge: Well Maggie likes them and they seem to be having a good time playing with each other.
Marge: Don't tell me you're jealous that Maggie has more friends than you?
Lisa: All right, I won't tell you that then.
Task: Make Outlands Maggie Improve Outlands Social Skills
Time: 4h
Location: Outlands Simpsons House
Marge: My word! Maggie, how did you get up there?
Marge: Oh, my sweet, non-speaking, wild child. That's it. Lisa, I'm sorry for dismissing your warnings. We're going home.
Lisa: *whispering* Good job, Sis.
Outlands Maggie: *wink*
Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP
The Emperor's New Lows Pt. 1
Homer starts
Homer: Hey barkeep, where's the beer I haven't asked for yet but was thinking about?
Homer: Now where is it already?
Moe: Listen Homer, I'm not some lowlife, minimum-wage booze slinger you can boss around.
Moe: On second thought, I'm all of those things.
Moe: You know, I think it's time for some confidence boosting over here.
Moe: Time to break out the ol' Emperor getup from when I was running the town and remind people how I helped them through tough times.
Task: Make Moe Dig Up Emperor Moe Outfit
Time: 1h
Location: Moe's Tavern
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
The Emperor's New Lows Pt. 2
Moe starts
Emperor Moe: Was this it? No, too highfalutin.
Emperor Moe: Here we go.
Homer: What'd you do, get a second job as a traffic cone?
Emperor Moe: I'm going to go survey my kingdom, so I'm closin' up.
Homer: I hope you're talking about your robe. ‘Cause your crown jewels are showing.
Task: Make Emperor Moe Survey His Kingdom
Time: 4h
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
The Emperor's New Lows Pt. 3
Moe starts
Emperor Moe: Ugh, my kingdom is looking rough.
Emperor Moe: Rats, roaches, and rubbish as far as the eye can see. And that's what I call the Clean District.
Emperor Moe: It's time to give gunk and grime the bum's rush. I'll get my subjects to scrub out this stink hole.
Task: Make Emperor Moe Speak to Businesses
Time: 8h
Location: Businesses
On job start:
Emperor Moe: Subjects of Kwik-E-Mart! I decree that ye shall clean this joint up.
Apu: Crazy talk from an abominable man in a bath robe?
Apu: I better do as the gargoyle says, before he tries to eat my face.
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
The Emperor's New Lows Pt. 4
Moe starts
Emperor Moe: All right, I gave all the businesses the business so that outta do it.
Emperor Moe: Those places sure were givin' me a lot of weird looks though.
Emperor Moe: I ain't the prettiest princess in the kingdom, but most of ‘em were just rude.
Emperor Moe: Anyhoo… time to hear the exaltation of the people.
Task: Make Emperor Moe Defend His Title
Time: 1h
On job start:
Emperor Moe: Okay, who threw the Molotov cocktail? You trying to make me into a Flaming Moe?
Apu: We hardly listen to Mayor Quimby, what makes you think we'd listen to you?
Emperor Moe: Excuse me for trying to give this town some positive direction.
On job end:
Emperor Moe: All right, maybe the people aren't ready for my leadership again.
Emperor Moe: I was able to drain the dregs from all those booze bottles the haters tossed at me though!
Emperor Moe: Time to go water it down and refill the royal coffers.
Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP
Hydration Ostentation Pt. 1
Mr. Burns starts
Mr. Burns: Smithers, is it snowing indoors? I am surrounded by white flakes.
Smithers: No, sir. It appears your skin is in a shed cycle.
Mr. Burns: Ah, then it's time for a rejuvenation cycle.
Mr. Burns: Now, which mansion did I hide Ponce de León's Fountain of Youth in again?
Task: Make Burns Remember Where He Hid Fountain of Youth
Time: 8h
Location: Burns Manor
On job start:
Mr. Burns: Hmm, this isn't it.
Mr. Burns: I'll just have to check all of them. Sometimes I think it's hardly worth having dozens of mansions.
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Hydration Ostentation Pt. 2
Mr. Burns starts
Mr. Burns: Oh yes, silly me. It's the mansion covered in youthful water.
Smithers: Hidden in plain sight. Masterful deception, sir.
Mr. Burns: Thank you. Now let's get my regeneration started. My hand has become translucent.
Smithers: I've always been able to see through to your soul, sir.
Task: Make Burns Hydrate
Time: 1h
Location: Water Baron Burns Mansion
Lenny: Hey, look at Burnsie. He looks radiant!
Homer: Wow, nice, Mr. Burns. What's your secret?
Water Baron Burns: Discover it and you'll die!
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Hydration Ostentation Pt. 3
Mr. Burns starts
Water Baron Burns: That's just splendid. Now every Thomas, Richard, and Harold are going to come knocking on my gate, asking for the secrets of eternal youth.
Smithers: You found it on your own, with minimum loss of life. So, they can, too!
Water Baron Burns: And it's not like I flaunt it in their faces.
Water Baron Burns: Although, I do like the sound of that.
Task: Make Water Baron Burns Flaunt Hydration
Time: 4h
Location: Water Baron Burns Mansion
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Hydration Ostentation Pt. 4
Mr. Burns starts
Water Baron Burns: Well, that was enjoyable.
Smithers: Indeed, wet and wild, sir.
Water Baron Burns: Grab that towel, will you? I am in need of serious blotting.
Smithers: Say no more, sir! I was born to blot.
Task: Make Water Baron Burns Get Dried Off With Smithers
Time: 2h
Location: Water Baron Burns Mansion
Requires: Smithers
Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP
Bared in Bronze
Auto starts
Marge: Bart! Why is there a giant statue of you baring your... um-
Bart: My butt? My tush? My keister?
Marge: Sigh, I'd so hoped to protect you from those words. I've finally lost that battle.
Bart: Sorry, but that battle was lost when I turned four.
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
General Mischief Pt. 1
Auto starts
General Bart: Okay babies, pull up your training pants and put down your baby bottles.
Milhouse: He doesn't know how accurate that statement is.
General Bart: It's time to get serious. I need you all running drills until sundown. Now get to it!
Task: Make Youngsters Train Until Sundown
Time: 12h
Location: Training Grounds
On job start:
Martin: I must protest - I was born a lover not a fighter! Although I've done neither.
Milhouse: My dad told me about his time in the army... I was expecting a preemptive dishonorable discharge like he got.
Ralph: I can't feel my hands. Which means I can be my own stranger-danger!
General Bart: Okay, forget running drills, there's no actual sundown in this town any way.
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
General Mischief Pt. 2
Bart starts
General Bart: Okay let's try this again.
General Bart: Pretend your parents sent you to bed but made the mistake of not turning on your baby monitors...
Milhouse: Whee, I suddenly have so much energy! I'm getting away with stuff!
General Bart: NOW MOVE IT, MAGGOTS!
Task: Make Youngsters Train Until Sundown
Time: 12h
Location: Training Grounds
Luann: Milhouse, bedtime!
Milhouse: *snores*
Luann: Well, now we know what war is good for!
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
OutlandsGate
Auto starts
Homer: There, now that the gate's in place, no one will be able to get in without permission!
Carl: Uh, Homer, how is that cruddy gate going to keep anyone out?
Homer: It says, “keep out”, and everyone knows signs can't be disobeyed!
Lenny: Wait, what happened to my lunch last week then? I had a pretty clear note on it!
Homer: I ate the note. Then I ate your lunch because there wasn't a note on it.
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Outlands Water Tower
Auto starts
Homer: There, finally we have a water tower.
Barney: Wow, Homer, how are you getting the water up there?
Homer: Well, I...
Homer: D'oh!
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Damaged Jebediah Statue
Auto starts
Quimby: Constantly repairing that statue is really starting to eat into my embezzlements...
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Ruined Lard Lad
Auto starts
Homer: YOU MANIACS! You blew up our finest citizen -- an innocent lad pushing lard!
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
In the Navy Pt. 1
Bart starts
Bart: All right, a cool new battleship!
Lisa: So, you're what, now? Admiral of the Springfield Navy?
Bart: Hey, if the Swiss are allowed a navy then so am I!
Task: Make Bart Tour the Decks
Time: 4h
Location: Battlescape
Bart: Everything's looking ship shape...literally, I mean, it's the shape of a ship.
Bart: Now I just need to shanghai a crew!
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
In the Navy Pt. 2
Bart starts
Bart: Hey, Milhouse, how'd you like to help crew my new battleship?
Milhouse: You betcha! I'll be your second in command any day!
Bart: Eh, I was thinking more of bilge pump boy.
Milhouse: The lowest part of the ship? Aye-aye, Cap'n! There's no low I won't stoop to!
Bart: Great! Now let's get the rest of the crew together!
Task: Make Youngsters Crew the Battlescape
Time: 4h
Location: Battlescape
Milhouse: Ugh, this wasn't a good idea. I'm so seasick.
Bart: We haven't left dry land yet!
Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP
Bart starts
Bart: Come on, Milhouse. We're late for gym class.
Milhouse: I don't want to go, Bart.
Milhouse: My head still stings from dodgeball last week.
Bart: Today is floor hockey. It's a whole different kind of sting.
Task: Make Bart Attend Gym Class
Time: 4h
Location: Springfield Elementary
Task: Make Youngsters Attend Gym Class
Time: 4h
Location: Springfield Elementary
On job start:
Bart: This equipment sucks! This hockey stick is a banana taped to a broom handle!
Milhouse: And the hockey puck smells weird.
Bart: It's yesterday's cafeteria special – stuffed beef biscuit!
Willie: Tell Willie when you're through playin'. He'll warm yer puck up for his dinner.
On job end:
Bart: Skinner, you've gotta give us better hockey equipment!
Skinner: Sorry, Simpson. The budget is shot for the year. You'll have to purchase pucks yourself.
Bart: No one tells me to go puck myself! This means war!
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Bart of War Pt. 2
Bart starts
General Bart: First, I'm going to need to do some reconnaissance.
General Bart: I know teachers, and I know they always spend school funds on something for themselves.
General Bart: I just need to sniff it out.
Task: Make General Bart Conduct Commando Raid
Time: 8h
Location: Springfield Elementary
General Bart: A new cappuccino maker, a 4k TV, and a massage chair!?
General Bart: They're blowing the whole school budget on teachers' lounge junk!
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Bart of War Pt. 3
Bart starts
General Bart: Milhouse, get the division together.
Milhouse: Okay, but there aren't many boys around… jock itch outbreak.
General Bart: Tough times demand tough decisions -- you'll have to get the girls, too.
Milhouse: I have a hard time talking to girls.
General Bart: Imagine they're boys who smell good and tell them all to meet at the front of the school.
Task: Make General Bart Rally the Troops
Time: 4h
Location: Springfield Elementary
Task: Make Milhouse Recruit Kids
Time: 4h
Location: Springfield Elementary
On job start:
General Bart: Fellow students! I stand before you today not as the cowabunga kid… but as a reluctant soldier fighting the corruption of our wannabe educators!
General Bart: And what is their lesson? Look out for yourself, at the expense of those you are responsible for.
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Bart of War Pt. 4
Bart starts
General Bart: Alpha Unit, flood the gym. Bravo, egg the teachers' cars. Charlie, set off the sprinklers in the teachers' lounge.
General Bart: Milhouse, you're with me.
Milhouse: Yes! What unit are we?
General Bart: The nuclear unit.
Task: Make General Bart Go to War
Time: 8h
Location: Springfield Elementary
On job start:
Skinner: All the junk you destroyed is covered by insurance, Simpson. You're only helping us get new things.
General Bart: Then you leave me no choice… Milhouse, time to go nuclear!
Milhouse: *whines* Mommy! I got a boo-boo from gym class!
Bart: And the gym floor ate my shorts!
Marge: What? Not your trademark blue shorts?! I'll be taking this to the highest level!
On job end:
Chalmers: SKIN-NNNER! Why am I being barraged with calls from parents bellyaching about the gym?
Skinner: Sir, it's difficult to maintain a proper environment for a physical education class.
Chalmers: I noticed a lot of new contraptions in your teachers' lounge. Trade those in for new dodgeballs, football flags, or whatever these parents are griping about. I'll not have them interrupting my golf day.
Skinner: Yes, sir.
General Bart: Kids beat grown-ups once again! The battle is won, but the war of youth continues!
Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP
RubeTube Pt. 1
Bart starts
Bart: Is that Pyro?
Pyro: Hey kiddo. How ‘bout an autograph? Not yours. Mine.
Bart: I'll pass. What have you been up to?
Pyro: I'm in a competition for a trophy named Luann.
Luann: Oh, hey Chase. We had some fun times…
Luann: Fun, fun times…
Luann: But I'm back with Kirk.
Bart: Oh, man! Out Van Houten'd by a Kirk!
Task: Make Pyro Figure Out What He'll Do Next
Time: 4h
Location: Brown House
Pyro: I need to be more than Luann's ex-lover. It's time I got back into the stunt business.
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
RubeTube Pt. 2
Pyro starts
Pyro: Hey kid, how's the film business around here?
Bart: Pretty dead.
Pyro: Television?
Bart: If Krusty's the best show, you've got a problem.
Pyro: What do people watch!?
Bart: Mostly ViewTube. Here, check out this guy. He makes top ten hits by GETTING hit.
Task: Make Bart Watch a ViewTube Top 10 With Pyro
Time: 1h
Location: Simpson House
Requires: Pyro
Pyro: Airbursts? Flash Pots? Gerbs? Pyrotechnics cost money. How can he afford these?
Bart: He's sponsored and has tons of followers. He makes more money now then you ever did on TV.
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
RubeTube Pt. 3
Pyro starts
Pyro: If any Joe Schmo can film falls, hits, and explosions like this, then I can! I spent years as a stuntman and television performer.
Bart: There's a little more to it than just pointing a camera at yourself…
Pyro: Mmmm…doesn't look like it to me.
Pyro: One question though: Are cameras still as big as a toolbox and sit on your shoulder?
Bart: Here, let's order you a NoPro.
Task: Make Pyro Order a Modern Camera
Time: 8h
Location: Brown House
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
RubeTube Pt. 4
Pyro starts
Pyro: Hey Pyro-maniacs! Pyro here broadcasting my first video.
Pyro: I'm going to show you some classic stunts from my day.
Pyro: None of this snorting cinnamon or taking golf balls to the nards nonsense. No, these stunts could actually kill me!
Pyro: Are you ready to be thrilled!? The heat is on, so let's go!
Task: Make Pyro Perform Stunts
Time: 4h
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
RubeTube Pt. 5
Pyro starts
Pyro: Okay, how do I get this into the tube webs?
Bart: Let's check out what you got.
Bart: *laughs hysterically* You've got the camera pointed at your face the whole time! All we see are your dippy facial expressions.
Bart: You look like you're cleaning up barf and are about to blow chow yourself. I am definitely uploading this!
Pyro: NO!
Task: Make Bart Upload Embarrassing Video
Time: 1h
Location: Simpson House
Pyro: I don't know how I can face my fans now.
Bart: Pyro! You've got two million views already! And a puke sawdust company wants to sign you to a commercial series!
Pyro: Pyro is back!
Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP
Proper Prepping Pt. 1
Lindsey Naegle starts
Prepper Lindsey Naegle: This is it: society has finally giving way to mankind's primal instincts.
Prepper Lindsey Naegle: In these end times, you've either got a go bag, or a toe-tag.
Prepper Lindsey Naegle: And I don't do open-toe footwear!
Task: Make Prepper Lindsey Naegle Get Her Go Bag
Time: 1h
Location: Marketing Agency
Prepper Lindsey Naegle: My go bag has gone south with mold. Everything is ruined!
Prepper Lindsey Naegle: These Kwik-E-Mart Survival Bars say, “Good until 2030”. Apu, I've only had them for three days!
Apu: “Good until 2030” is military time for 8:30 PM. It looks like you need to purchase more Survival Bars.
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Proper Prepping Pt. 2
Lindsey Naegle starts
Prepper Lindsey Naegle: I need to rebuild my entire go bag.
Prepper Lindsey Naegle: I have to hurry before the chaos and destruction of life as we know it begins.
Prepper Lindsey Naegle: Time for my favorite kind of shopping; rapid-fire shopping!
Task: Make Prepper Lindsey Naegle Shoot Around Town
Time: 4h
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Proper Prepping Pt. 3
Lindsey Naegle starts
Prepper Lindsey Naegle: All right, I've got my energy bars, water purifiers, solar-powered radio, solar-powered toothbrush, solar-powered cooler, and solar-powered blender.
Prepper Lindsey Naegle: Lindsey Naegle doesn't do any day, doomsday or otherwise, without a frozen sangria.
Prepper Lindsey Naegle: I've just got to fit all that, my defensive weapons, and some clean underwear into this bag.
Task: Make Prepper Lindsey Naegle Pack Her Go Bag
Time: 4h
Location: Marketing Agency
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Proper Prepping Pt. 4
Lindsey Naegle starts
Prepper Lindsey Naegle: It's go time!
Prepper Lindsey Naegle: Oof, this is uh, heavy.
Prepper Lindsey Naegle: I'll just use this tire jack to help it on.
Prepper Lindsey Naegle: Good…to…go.
Task: Make Prepper Lindsey Naegle Bug Out
Time: 8h
Prepper Lindsey Naegle: Okay, this isn't going to work.
Prepper Lindsey Naegle: I'll just wait it out in the Marketing Agency penthouse.
Prepper Lindsey Naegle: The paranoid CEO had it built to withstand a 99% chance of his overthrow.
Prepper Lindsey Naegle: It did a pretty good job until he used the employees' restroom. That's where they always get you.
Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP
Growing Pains Pt. 1
Lisa starts
Lisa: Argh! The ultra-limited-edition Malibu Stacy Retro doll sold out online before it was even available!
Lisa: How can I show I'm cool and hip, like my classmates, without it?
Marge: Lisa, that's the third online rage out you've had this week.
Marge: Girls, pack your bags we're going “Outing”.
Lisa: I think you mean “on an outing”.
Marge: I meant what I said. We're revisiting our Outlands home to get back to what's important in life.
Maggie: *happy squeal*
Task: Make Simpsons Girls Go “Outing”
Time: 2h
Location: Outlands Simpsons House
Lisa: This place is disgusting.
Marge: Sometimes disgusting can be fun! Did Marge Simpson just say that? Yes, she did!
Marge: And look at Maggie -- so cute in just her diaper and spikey hair.
Outlands Maggie: *shifty eyes*
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Growing Pains Pt. 2
Lisa starts
Lisa: There's something disturbing about how easily Maggie “goes feral” whenever we're put in dangerous situations.
Marge: “Goes feral”? Lisa, that is your sister!
Lisa: She just wrestled a honey badger, one of nature's most vicious animals, and scared it off.
Marge: And why did she do it? To get you a nice burrow to sleep in tonight, that's why.
Lisa: It is a cozy burrow. Way to go, Mags.
Outlands Maggie: *shifty eyes*
Task: Make Outlands Maggie Embrace Feral Nature
Time: 24h
Location: Outlands Simpsons House
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Growing Pains Pt. 3
Lisa starts
Lisa: Mom, where's Maggie?
Marge: After she shooed away all the animals, she stays outside all the time now.
Marge: She's in the yard now. Probably looking for butterflies or ladybugs.
Outlands Maggie: *shifty eyes*
Task: Make Outlands Maggie Protect Her Territory
Time: 8h
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Growing Pains Pt. 4
Maggie starts
Outlands Maggie: *threatening stare*
Outlands Baby: *threatening stare*
Lisa: Mom? Did you know there are other babies around here? They don't look too friendly.
Marge: Well Maggie likes them and they seem to be having a good time playing with each other.
Marge: Don't tell me you're jealous that Maggie has more friends than you?
Lisa: All right, I won't tell you that then.
Task: Make Outlands Maggie Improve Outlands Social Skills
Time: 4h
Location: Outlands Simpsons House
Marge: My word! Maggie, how did you get up there?
Marge: Oh, my sweet, non-speaking, wild child. That's it. Lisa, I'm sorry for dismissing your warnings. We're going home.
Lisa: *whispering* Good job, Sis.
Outlands Maggie: *wink*
Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP
The Emperor's New Lows Pt. 1
Homer starts
Homer: Hey barkeep, where's the beer I haven't asked for yet but was thinking about?
Homer: Now where is it already?
Moe: Listen Homer, I'm not some lowlife, minimum-wage booze slinger you can boss around.
Moe: On second thought, I'm all of those things.
Moe: You know, I think it's time for some confidence boosting over here.
Moe: Time to break out the ol' Emperor getup from when I was running the town and remind people how I helped them through tough times.
Task: Make Moe Dig Up Emperor Moe Outfit
Time: 1h
Location: Moe's Tavern
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
The Emperor's New Lows Pt. 2
Moe starts
Emperor Moe: Was this it? No, too highfalutin.
Emperor Moe: Here we go.
Homer: What'd you do, get a second job as a traffic cone?
Emperor Moe: I'm going to go survey my kingdom, so I'm closin' up.
Homer: I hope you're talking about your robe. ‘Cause your crown jewels are showing.
Task: Make Emperor Moe Survey His Kingdom
Time: 4h
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
The Emperor's New Lows Pt. 3
Moe starts
Emperor Moe: Ugh, my kingdom is looking rough.
Emperor Moe: Rats, roaches, and rubbish as far as the eye can see. And that's what I call the Clean District.
Emperor Moe: It's time to give gunk and grime the bum's rush. I'll get my subjects to scrub out this stink hole.
Task: Make Emperor Moe Speak to Businesses
Time: 8h
Location: Businesses
On job start:
Emperor Moe: Subjects of Kwik-E-Mart! I decree that ye shall clean this joint up.
Apu: Crazy talk from an abominable man in a bath robe?
Apu: I better do as the gargoyle says, before he tries to eat my face.
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
The Emperor's New Lows Pt. 4
Moe starts
Emperor Moe: All right, I gave all the businesses the business so that outta do it.
Emperor Moe: Those places sure were givin' me a lot of weird looks though.
Emperor Moe: I ain't the prettiest princess in the kingdom, but most of ‘em were just rude.
Emperor Moe: Anyhoo… time to hear the exaltation of the people.
Task: Make Emperor Moe Defend His Title
Time: 1h
On job start:
Emperor Moe: Okay, who threw the Molotov cocktail? You trying to make me into a Flaming Moe?
Apu: We hardly listen to Mayor Quimby, what makes you think we'd listen to you?
Emperor Moe: Excuse me for trying to give this town some positive direction.
On job end:
Emperor Moe: All right, maybe the people aren't ready for my leadership again.
Emperor Moe: I was able to drain the dregs from all those booze bottles the haters tossed at me though!
Emperor Moe: Time to go water it down and refill the royal coffers.
Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP
Hydration Ostentation Pt. 1
Mr. Burns starts
Mr. Burns: Smithers, is it snowing indoors? I am surrounded by white flakes.
Smithers: No, sir. It appears your skin is in a shed cycle.
Mr. Burns: Ah, then it's time for a rejuvenation cycle.
Mr. Burns: Now, which mansion did I hide Ponce de León's Fountain of Youth in again?
Task: Make Burns Remember Where He Hid Fountain of Youth
Time: 8h
Location: Burns Manor
On job start:
Mr. Burns: Hmm, this isn't it.
Mr. Burns: I'll just have to check all of them. Sometimes I think it's hardly worth having dozens of mansions.
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Hydration Ostentation Pt. 2
Mr. Burns starts
Mr. Burns: Oh yes, silly me. It's the mansion covered in youthful water.
Smithers: Hidden in plain sight. Masterful deception, sir.
Mr. Burns: Thank you. Now let's get my regeneration started. My hand has become translucent.
Smithers: I've always been able to see through to your soul, sir.
Task: Make Burns Hydrate
Time: 1h
Location: Water Baron Burns Mansion
Lenny: Hey, look at Burnsie. He looks radiant!
Homer: Wow, nice, Mr. Burns. What's your secret?
Water Baron Burns: Discover it and you'll die!
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Hydration Ostentation Pt. 3
Mr. Burns starts
Water Baron Burns: That's just splendid. Now every Thomas, Richard, and Harold are going to come knocking on my gate, asking for the secrets of eternal youth.
Smithers: You found it on your own, with minimum loss of life. So, they can, too!
Water Baron Burns: And it's not like I flaunt it in their faces.
Water Baron Burns: Although, I do like the sound of that.
Task: Make Water Baron Burns Flaunt Hydration
Time: 4h
Location: Water Baron Burns Mansion
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Hydration Ostentation Pt. 4
Mr. Burns starts
Water Baron Burns: Well, that was enjoyable.
Smithers: Indeed, wet and wild, sir.
Water Baron Burns: Grab that towel, will you? I am in need of serious blotting.
Smithers: Say no more, sir! I was born to blot.
Task: Make Water Baron Burns Get Dried Off With Smithers
Time: 2h
Location: Water Baron Burns Mansion
Requires: Smithers
Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP
Bared in Bronze
Auto starts
Marge: Bart! Why is there a giant statue of you baring your... um-
Bart: My butt? My tush? My keister?
Marge: Sigh, I'd so hoped to protect you from those words. I've finally lost that battle.
Bart: Sorry, but that battle was lost when I turned four.
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
General Mischief Pt. 1
Auto starts
General Bart: Okay babies, pull up your training pants and put down your baby bottles.
Milhouse: He doesn't know how accurate that statement is.
General Bart: It's time to get serious. I need you all running drills until sundown. Now get to it!
Task: Make Youngsters Train Until Sundown
Time: 12h
Location: Training Grounds
On job start:
Martin: I must protest - I was born a lover not a fighter! Although I've done neither.
Milhouse: My dad told me about his time in the army... I was expecting a preemptive dishonorable discharge like he got.
Ralph: I can't feel my hands. Which means I can be my own stranger-danger!
General Bart: Okay, forget running drills, there's no actual sundown in this town any way.
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
General Mischief Pt. 2
Bart starts
General Bart: Okay let's try this again.
General Bart: Pretend your parents sent you to bed but made the mistake of not turning on your baby monitors...
Milhouse: Whee, I suddenly have so much energy! I'm getting away with stuff!
General Bart: NOW MOVE IT, MAGGOTS!
Task: Make Youngsters Train Until Sundown
Time: 12h
Location: Training Grounds
Luann: Milhouse, bedtime!
Milhouse: *snores*
Luann: Well, now we know what war is good for!
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
OutlandsGate
Auto starts
Homer: There, now that the gate's in place, no one will be able to get in without permission!
Carl: Uh, Homer, how is that cruddy gate going to keep anyone out?
Homer: It says, “keep out”, and everyone knows signs can't be disobeyed!
Lenny: Wait, what happened to my lunch last week then? I had a pretty clear note on it!
Homer: I ate the note. Then I ate your lunch because there wasn't a note on it.
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Outlands Water Tower
Auto starts
Homer: There, finally we have a water tower.
Barney: Wow, Homer, how are you getting the water up there?
Homer: Well, I...
Homer: D'oh!
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Damaged Jebediah Statue
Auto starts
Quimby: Constantly repairing that statue is really starting to eat into my embezzlements...
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Ruined Lard Lad
Auto starts
Homer: YOU MANIACS! You blew up our finest citizen -- an innocent lad pushing lard!
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
In the Navy Pt. 1
Bart starts
Bart: All right, a cool new battleship!
Lisa: So, you're what, now? Admiral of the Springfield Navy?
Bart: Hey, if the Swiss are allowed a navy then so am I!
Task: Make Bart Tour the Decks
Time: 4h
Location: Battlescape
Bart: Everything's looking ship shape...literally, I mean, it's the shape of a ship.
Bart: Now I just need to shanghai a crew!
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
In the Navy Pt. 2
Bart starts
Bart: Hey, Milhouse, how'd you like to help crew my new battleship?
Milhouse: You betcha! I'll be your second in command any day!
Bart: Eh, I was thinking more of bilge pump boy.
Milhouse: The lowest part of the ship? Aye-aye, Cap'n! There's no low I won't stoop to!
Bart: Great! Now let's get the rest of the crew together!
Task: Make Youngsters Crew the Battlescape
Time: 4h
Location: Battlescape
Milhouse: Ugh, this wasn't a good idea. I'm so seasick.
Bart: We haven't left dry land yet!
Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP
