Blargsgiving: Walkthrough
You Don't Make Friends With (Fruit) Salad
Auto starts
Marge: Homie, could you run to the store to pick up a few things for Thanksgiving dinner tonight?
Homer: But Marge, if I leave now, I won't know who wins the big game!
Kent Brockman: And going into the fourth quarter, the Shelbyville Sharks lead the Springfield Atoms fifty-six to zero. I think it's safe to say we know who will win the big game.
Marge: *sigh* I guess I'll just go pick up the ingredients for the fruit salad myself.
Homer: Fruit salad? Never! The only fruit I'll be eating this Thanksgiving will come in canned form.
Homer: Delectable cranberry sauce. The one time of year dessert comes with the main course instead of after.
Marge: I didn't buy any cranberry sauce this year. I told you, we're having fruit salad.
Homer: WHAT?! No Thanksgiving dinner is gonna get served without cranberry sauce on my watch! I'm heading to the store!
Marge: I thought you said you couldn't leave because you were watching the game?
Homer: That was before you threatened me with fruit salad. Also I don't really care about the game. I just didn't want to get off the couch.
If the user has Marge: Task: Make Marge Grumble Under Her Breath
Time: 6s
Location: Simpson House or Brown House
Task: Make Homer Hunt for Cranberry Sauce
Time: 6s
Location: Springfield Grocery Store, CostMo, Try-N-Save, Quick & Fresh, Sconewall Bakery or Brown House
Homer: Okay. Don't panic. So what if they're sold out of cranberry sauce at Costmo, Try-N-Save, Quick & Fresh, Sconewall Bakery, Eatie-Gourmet's…
Homer: Sprawl-Mart, Li'l Valu-Mart, Kwik-E-Mart, Speed-E-Mart, Newfangled Kwik-E-Mart, and Springfield Hunting Supplies? I'm sure I'll find some…somewhere.
Homer: I guess I could try Swapper Jack's, but that's a health food store…
Homer: But cranberries are in smoothies, which are healthy, and people drink smoothies after they exercise...
Homer: And exercise burns calories, and burning is what you do with tires, and…wait, where was I?
Quest rewards: $100 and 10 XP
Cranberry Calamity Pt. 1
Auto starts
Homer: Of course I can't find a parking space! This place is the worst. And why is everyone so happy here? Don't these people know they're buying health food?!
Homer: Focus, Homer. We've got a job to do. And by God we're gonna do it!
Homer: Eegh. What is this stuff? Swapper O's? Swapper Jack's Okra Chips?
Homer: Just my luck. Even this place doesn't have any cranberry sauce. *sigh* I guess I'll go tell the family Thanksgiving is cancelled this year.
Blarg Alien: *psst* You there. Yeah, you in the tight-fitting mustard-stained shirt.
Homer: Hey, at least I'm not ten feet tall with three legs.
Homer: Oh my God, you're an alien! I always knew there was something fishy about Swapper Jack's!
Blarg Alien: I've travelled back through time and space to experience a traditional Earth Thanksgiving.
Blarg Alien: It's the holiday that will one day inspire Blargsgiving on our planet.
Homer: Wait a minute…you speak English?
Blarg Alien: No, I'm mind-melding into your brain. It's much more efficient. Now, did I hear you say you were looking for cranberry sauce?
Homer: You have some?!
Blarg Alien: Not here. Meet me out back in fifteen Earth minutes.
Homer: Fifteen Earth minutes? How long is that in my time?
Blarg Alien: Fifteen minutes.
Homer: You could have just said that.
Task: Collect Cranberry Sauce Cans
If the user has Blarg Alien: Task: Make Blarg Alien Meet Homer
Time: 4h
Location: Kwik-E-Mart, Springfield Grocery Store, CostMo, Try-N-Save, Quick & Fresh, Sconewall Bakery or Brown House
Task: Make Homer Go Around Back
Time: 4h
Location: Kwik-E-Mart, Springfield Grocery Store, CostMo, Try-N-Save, Quick & Fresh, Sconewall Bakery or Brown House
Blarg Alien: I have a gift for you, Deluxe Earthling. This is a "special" cranberry sauce from my future world.
Homer: Looks pretty good… But there's so little of it.
Blarg Alien: Maybe now, but this sauce will replicate whenever it's fed bones. That means you can have as much cranberry sauce as you like.
Blarg Alien: But heed this warning. NEVER feed it any bones from living creatures. Only bones that are long dead. Do you understand what I have told you?
Homer: Gimme the sauce, gimme the sauce!
Blarg Alien: I'll take that as a yes.
Quest rewards: $100 and 10 XP
Cranberry Calamity Pt. 2
Auto starts
Homer: So, definitely not enough cranberry sauce for Thanksgiving dinner. But that alien in the alley said I just need to feed it bones and it'll replicate.
Homer: And when have I ever been known to ignore life advice acquired in an alley?
Sideshow Mel: Greetings, Homer. I didn't know you were a patron of "the Swapper".
Homer: Wow, look at the size of that bone in your hair! Hey, Mel, I'll give you fifty bucks for that thing.
Sideshow Mel: I beg your pardon? This bone is one hundred percent authentic Albino Chupacabra. And I should say is worth a fair bit more than fifty dollars.
Homer: Sixty.
Sideshow Mel: Deal! You just paid for my entire "Swapping" excursion. Toodles!
Homer: Okay, crazy alien sauce, time to do your stuff!
Task: Collect Cranberry Sauce Cans
Task: Make Homer Feed Mel's Bone to the Sauce
Time: 4h
Location: Swapper Jack's or Brown House
Homer: Look at all this cranberry sauce! This'll feed everyone! Or at least me.
Homer: But…what if my family eats all this delicious sauce… There'd be none for leftovers tomorrow.
Homer: I know! I'll go dig up graves at Springfield Cemetery and use those bones! It's the only logical next step.
Quest rewards: $100 and 10 XP
Cranberry Calamity Pt. 3
Auto starts
Marge: Um, Homer? Why are you covered in grave dirt? And what's this giant bog of cranberry sauce doing in the garage?
Homer: What, this? This has been here forever. You're really losin' it, Marge.
Marge: Mmm-hmm. Well, go get cleaned up. My sisters just got here.
Homer: Really? Hey Patty and Selma! Come out to the garage! I did something you'll want to belittle me for!
Patty: Oh, this'll be good. C'mon, Selma. It sounds like Christmas came a little early this year.
Homer: Come on in, ladies. I hope you've been drinking your milk. Always want to keep those bones strong, am I right?
Task: Collect Cranberry Sauce Cans
Task: Make Homer Feed Patty and Selma to the Sauce
Time: 4h
Location: Simpson House or Brown House
If the user has Patty: Task: Make Patty Tell Homer He's Fat as She's Being Eaten
Time: 4h
Location: Simpson House or Brown House
If the user has Selma: Task: Make Selma Tell Homer He's Useless as She's Being Eaten
Time: 4h
Location: Simpson House or Brown House
Jelly Monster: *growling noises*
Marge: I heard a scream! What happened? Ahhhh! What the heck is that?
Jelly Monster: *raaaaawr*
Homer: It looks like even the cranberry sauce gets irritated by your sisters! Run for it!
Quest rewards: $100 and 10 XP
Cranberry Calamity Pt. 4
Auto starts
Kent Brockman: We interrupt your regularly scheduled program for this breaking news. A tornado is currently ripping through Springfield!
Kent Brockman: Wait, sorry. Our cue card guy has gotten the pre-written disaster cards mixed up. Just a minute while he gets it sorted.
Kent Brockman: We interrupt your regularly scheduled program for this breaking news. Springfield is under attack by a giant jelly monster!
Homer: That's the last time I mind-meld with a space alien.
Lisa: Space alien?!
Homer: Yeah, you know. The alien who gave me the living space cranberry sauce that turned into that jelly monster when I fed it your aunts?
Lisa: Oh, THAT alien.
Homer: In his defense, he DID say not to feed it the bones of the living. So that's on me.
Lisa: Hmm. So this jelly monster feeds off the bones of the living… I'll need to call for some backup to figure out how to stop this thing from destroying the town.
Homer: Okay but hurry up. Dinner is still at four.
Task: Collect Cranberry Sauce Cans
Task: Make Lisa Call Martin for Help
Time: 4h
Location: Simpson House or Brown House
If the user has Martin: Task: Make Martin Come to the Rescue
Time: 4h
Location: Simpson House or Brown House
Lisa: So we know the jelly monster grows whenever it's fed bones.
Martin: My God. It's the perfect organism!
Lisa: Uh, I guess? But how do we stop it?
Martin: I believe I've deduced the best course of action. Follow me!
Martin: *voluntarily sacrifices himself to the jelly monster*
Lisa: What are you doing?!
Martin: I giveth my body to become one with perfection!
Jelly Monster: *eats Martin's bones*
Lisa: Don't really see why he had to get naked first, but okay…
Quest rewards: $100 and 10 XP
Cranberry Calamity Pt. 5
Auto starts
Lisa: Well Dad, there's no stopping the jelly monster. It even erected a giant metal can for itself in the town square!
Homer: Of all the ways I could die, I never thought it would be food that did me in.
Lisa: Look, there's a spaceship landing!
Blarg Alien: Relax, Earthlings. That is merely the spacetime vessel of my fellow Blargonians, here to retrieve me and the one you call "Jelly Monster."
Blarg Alien: I was sent ahead to prepare "The Great Jelly." Though I can't take all the credit, as it was your father who turned it into its fully sentient form.
Lisa: "The Great Jelly"? That thing just wrecked half the town and ate my aunts and my friend from school!
Blarg Alien: Yes, in retrospect, I can see how that might be received as… not "great." I could do a simple re-boning on your aunts and friend if you like.
Homer: Just the friend will be fine.
Homer: Actually, wait, Lisa, which friend is it?
Task: Collect Cranberry Sauce Cans
If the user has Blarg Alien: Task: Make Blarg Alien Put Everyone's Bones Back
Time: 4h
Location: Simpson House or Brown House
Task: Make Lisa Be Grossed Out by the Re-boning
Time: 4h
Location: Simpson House or Brown House
Task: Make Homer Nearly Faint Watching the Re-boning
Time: 4h
Location: Simpson House or Brown House
If the user has Martin: Task: Make Martin Lose "One With Perfection" Status
Time: 4h
Location: Simpson House or Brown House
Blarg Alien: There we are. Re-boned and good as new.
Martin: What happened? I'm back? Am I still one with perfection?
Blarg Alien: Everything is back to the way it was. As my people say, no harm, no foul.
Lisa: Other than the millions of dollars of property damage?
Blarg Alien: Yes, specifically excluding that.
Quest rewards: $100 and 10 XP
The Legend of the Jelly
Auto starts
Lisa: So…why did you unleash your jelly monster on us?
Blarg Alien: The Great Jelly is the key to peace across all of Blargonia...
Blarg Alien: But in order for it to reach its true form and ensure continued peace, it required more human bones than we had laying around on our planet.
Blarg Alien: Being a peaceful race, we could never have fed it humans ourselves lest we face the wrath of the Jelly God, Jam Master Jeff.
Homer: Hey, you guys set me up!
Blarg Alien: Apologies, it was necessary for the survival of Blargmanity. Here, have a bite of The Great Jelly.
Homer: Woo hoo! *bites off a piece of the jelly monster.*
Lisa: The Great Jelly won't mind being eaten?
Blarg Alien: The Great Jelly's one purpose is to bring squishy cranberry goodness to the mouths of everyone it meets.
Lisa: Except the people whose bones it eats.
Blarg Alien: Look, we're crazy aliens who worship a cranberry monster. This was never going to make perfect sense.
Task: Make Homer Take a Bite Out of Jelly Monster
Time: 4h
Location: Humanity's Hope or Brown House
If the user has Jelly Monster: Task: Make Jelly Monster Be Happy
Time: 4h
Location: Humanity's Hope or Brown House
Blarg Alien: Now, oh Great Jelly, aboard our ship awaits your throne.
Blarg Alien: Which, funnily enough, we fashioned from the skulls of humans in the future after we wiped out their entire race, but they don't know that yet.
Jelly Monster: *waves goodbye*
Blarg Alien: We shall return to our time and planet, and we won't be back until we require more bones.
Blarg Alien: *attempts to start ship*
Blarg Alien: …
Blarg Alien: It's not starting. We're out of antimatter. Did nobody fill up when you stopped on Andromeda?
Jelly Monster: *facepalms*
Quest rewards: $200 and 20 XP
Auto starts
Marge: Homie, could you run to the store to pick up a few things for Thanksgiving dinner tonight?
Homer: But Marge, if I leave now, I won't know who wins the big game!
Kent Brockman: And going into the fourth quarter, the Shelbyville Sharks lead the Springfield Atoms fifty-six to zero. I think it's safe to say we know who will win the big game.
Marge: *sigh* I guess I'll just go pick up the ingredients for the fruit salad myself.
Homer: Fruit salad? Never! The only fruit I'll be eating this Thanksgiving will come in canned form.
Homer: Delectable cranberry sauce. The one time of year dessert comes with the main course instead of after.
Marge: I didn't buy any cranberry sauce this year. I told you, we're having fruit salad.
Homer: WHAT?! No Thanksgiving dinner is gonna get served without cranberry sauce on my watch! I'm heading to the store!
Marge: I thought you said you couldn't leave because you were watching the game?
Homer: That was before you threatened me with fruit salad. Also I don't really care about the game. I just didn't want to get off the couch.
If the user has Marge: Task: Make Marge Grumble Under Her Breath
Time: 6s
Location: Simpson House or Brown House
Task: Make Homer Hunt for Cranberry Sauce
Time: 6s
Location: Springfield Grocery Store, CostMo, Try-N-Save, Quick & Fresh, Sconewall Bakery or Brown House
Homer: Okay. Don't panic. So what if they're sold out of cranberry sauce at Costmo, Try-N-Save, Quick & Fresh, Sconewall Bakery, Eatie-Gourmet's…
Homer: Sprawl-Mart, Li'l Valu-Mart, Kwik-E-Mart, Speed-E-Mart, Newfangled Kwik-E-Mart, and Springfield Hunting Supplies? I'm sure I'll find some…somewhere.
Homer: I guess I could try Swapper Jack's, but that's a health food store…
Homer: But cranberries are in smoothies, which are healthy, and people drink smoothies after they exercise...
Homer: And exercise burns calories, and burning is what you do with tires, and…wait, where was I?
Quest rewards: $100 and 10 XP
Cranberry Calamity Pt. 1
Auto starts
Homer: Of course I can't find a parking space! This place is the worst. And why is everyone so happy here? Don't these people know they're buying health food?!
Homer: Focus, Homer. We've got a job to do. And by God we're gonna do it!
Homer: Eegh. What is this stuff? Swapper O's? Swapper Jack's Okra Chips?
Homer: Just my luck. Even this place doesn't have any cranberry sauce. *sigh* I guess I'll go tell the family Thanksgiving is cancelled this year.
Blarg Alien: *psst* You there. Yeah, you in the tight-fitting mustard-stained shirt.
Homer: Hey, at least I'm not ten feet tall with three legs.
Homer: Oh my God, you're an alien! I always knew there was something fishy about Swapper Jack's!
Blarg Alien: I've travelled back through time and space to experience a traditional Earth Thanksgiving.
Blarg Alien: It's the holiday that will one day inspire Blargsgiving on our planet.
Homer: Wait a minute…you speak English?
Blarg Alien: No, I'm mind-melding into your brain. It's much more efficient. Now, did I hear you say you were looking for cranberry sauce?
Homer: You have some?!
Blarg Alien: Not here. Meet me out back in fifteen Earth minutes.
Homer: Fifteen Earth minutes? How long is that in my time?
Blarg Alien: Fifteen minutes.
Homer: You could have just said that.
Task: Collect Cranberry Sauce Cans
If the user has Blarg Alien: Task: Make Blarg Alien Meet Homer
Time: 4h
Location: Kwik-E-Mart, Springfield Grocery Store, CostMo, Try-N-Save, Quick & Fresh, Sconewall Bakery or Brown House
Task: Make Homer Go Around Back
Time: 4h
Location: Kwik-E-Mart, Springfield Grocery Store, CostMo, Try-N-Save, Quick & Fresh, Sconewall Bakery or Brown House
Blarg Alien: I have a gift for you, Deluxe Earthling. This is a "special" cranberry sauce from my future world.
Homer: Looks pretty good… But there's so little of it.
Blarg Alien: Maybe now, but this sauce will replicate whenever it's fed bones. That means you can have as much cranberry sauce as you like.
Blarg Alien: But heed this warning. NEVER feed it any bones from living creatures. Only bones that are long dead. Do you understand what I have told you?
Homer: Gimme the sauce, gimme the sauce!
Blarg Alien: I'll take that as a yes.
Quest rewards: $100 and 10 XP
Cranberry Calamity Pt. 2
Auto starts
Homer: So, definitely not enough cranberry sauce for Thanksgiving dinner. But that alien in the alley said I just need to feed it bones and it'll replicate.
Homer: And when have I ever been known to ignore life advice acquired in an alley?
Sideshow Mel: Greetings, Homer. I didn't know you were a patron of "the Swapper".
Homer: Wow, look at the size of that bone in your hair! Hey, Mel, I'll give you fifty bucks for that thing.
Sideshow Mel: I beg your pardon? This bone is one hundred percent authentic Albino Chupacabra. And I should say is worth a fair bit more than fifty dollars.
Homer: Sixty.
Sideshow Mel: Deal! You just paid for my entire "Swapping" excursion. Toodles!
Homer: Okay, crazy alien sauce, time to do your stuff!
Task: Collect Cranberry Sauce Cans
Task: Make Homer Feed Mel's Bone to the Sauce
Time: 4h
Location: Swapper Jack's or Brown House
Homer: Look at all this cranberry sauce! This'll feed everyone! Or at least me.
Homer: But…what if my family eats all this delicious sauce… There'd be none for leftovers tomorrow.
Homer: I know! I'll go dig up graves at Springfield Cemetery and use those bones! It's the only logical next step.
Quest rewards: $100 and 10 XP
Cranberry Calamity Pt. 3
Auto starts
Marge: Um, Homer? Why are you covered in grave dirt? And what's this giant bog of cranberry sauce doing in the garage?
Homer: What, this? This has been here forever. You're really losin' it, Marge.
Marge: Mmm-hmm. Well, go get cleaned up. My sisters just got here.
Homer: Really? Hey Patty and Selma! Come out to the garage! I did something you'll want to belittle me for!
Patty: Oh, this'll be good. C'mon, Selma. It sounds like Christmas came a little early this year.
Homer: Come on in, ladies. I hope you've been drinking your milk. Always want to keep those bones strong, am I right?
Task: Collect Cranberry Sauce Cans
Task: Make Homer Feed Patty and Selma to the Sauce
Time: 4h
Location: Simpson House or Brown House
If the user has Patty: Task: Make Patty Tell Homer He's Fat as She's Being Eaten
Time: 4h
Location: Simpson House or Brown House
If the user has Selma: Task: Make Selma Tell Homer He's Useless as She's Being Eaten
Time: 4h
Location: Simpson House or Brown House
Jelly Monster: *growling noises*
Marge: I heard a scream! What happened? Ahhhh! What the heck is that?
Jelly Monster: *raaaaawr*
Homer: It looks like even the cranberry sauce gets irritated by your sisters! Run for it!
Quest rewards: $100 and 10 XP
Cranberry Calamity Pt. 4
Auto starts
Kent Brockman: We interrupt your regularly scheduled program for this breaking news. A tornado is currently ripping through Springfield!
Kent Brockman: Wait, sorry. Our cue card guy has gotten the pre-written disaster cards mixed up. Just a minute while he gets it sorted.
Kent Brockman: We interrupt your regularly scheduled program for this breaking news. Springfield is under attack by a giant jelly monster!
Homer: That's the last time I mind-meld with a space alien.
Lisa: Space alien?!
Homer: Yeah, you know. The alien who gave me the living space cranberry sauce that turned into that jelly monster when I fed it your aunts?
Lisa: Oh, THAT alien.
Homer: In his defense, he DID say not to feed it the bones of the living. So that's on me.
Lisa: Hmm. So this jelly monster feeds off the bones of the living… I'll need to call for some backup to figure out how to stop this thing from destroying the town.
Homer: Okay but hurry up. Dinner is still at four.
Task: Collect Cranberry Sauce Cans
Task: Make Lisa Call Martin for Help
Time: 4h
Location: Simpson House or Brown House
If the user has Martin: Task: Make Martin Come to the Rescue
Time: 4h
Location: Simpson House or Brown House
Lisa: So we know the jelly monster grows whenever it's fed bones.
Martin: My God. It's the perfect organism!
Lisa: Uh, I guess? But how do we stop it?
Martin: I believe I've deduced the best course of action. Follow me!
Martin: *voluntarily sacrifices himself to the jelly monster*
Lisa: What are you doing?!
Martin: I giveth my body to become one with perfection!
Jelly Monster: *eats Martin's bones*
Lisa: Don't really see why he had to get naked first, but okay…
Quest rewards: $100 and 10 XP
Cranberry Calamity Pt. 5
Auto starts
Lisa: Well Dad, there's no stopping the jelly monster. It even erected a giant metal can for itself in the town square!
Homer: Of all the ways I could die, I never thought it would be food that did me in.
Lisa: Look, there's a spaceship landing!
Blarg Alien: Relax, Earthlings. That is merely the spacetime vessel of my fellow Blargonians, here to retrieve me and the one you call "Jelly Monster."
Blarg Alien: I was sent ahead to prepare "The Great Jelly." Though I can't take all the credit, as it was your father who turned it into its fully sentient form.
Lisa: "The Great Jelly"? That thing just wrecked half the town and ate my aunts and my friend from school!
Blarg Alien: Yes, in retrospect, I can see how that might be received as… not "great." I could do a simple re-boning on your aunts and friend if you like.
Homer: Just the friend will be fine.
Homer: Actually, wait, Lisa, which friend is it?
Task: Collect Cranberry Sauce Cans
If the user has Blarg Alien: Task: Make Blarg Alien Put Everyone's Bones Back
Time: 4h
Location: Simpson House or Brown House
Task: Make Lisa Be Grossed Out by the Re-boning
Time: 4h
Location: Simpson House or Brown House
Task: Make Homer Nearly Faint Watching the Re-boning
Time: 4h
Location: Simpson House or Brown House
If the user has Martin: Task: Make Martin Lose "One With Perfection" Status
Time: 4h
Location: Simpson House or Brown House
Blarg Alien: There we are. Re-boned and good as new.
Martin: What happened? I'm back? Am I still one with perfection?
Blarg Alien: Everything is back to the way it was. As my people say, no harm, no foul.
Lisa: Other than the millions of dollars of property damage?
Blarg Alien: Yes, specifically excluding that.
Quest rewards: $100 and 10 XP
The Legend of the Jelly
Auto starts
Lisa: So…why did you unleash your jelly monster on us?
Blarg Alien: The Great Jelly is the key to peace across all of Blargonia...
Blarg Alien: But in order for it to reach its true form and ensure continued peace, it required more human bones than we had laying around on our planet.
Blarg Alien: Being a peaceful race, we could never have fed it humans ourselves lest we face the wrath of the Jelly God, Jam Master Jeff.
Homer: Hey, you guys set me up!
Blarg Alien: Apologies, it was necessary for the survival of Blargmanity. Here, have a bite of The Great Jelly.
Homer: Woo hoo! *bites off a piece of the jelly monster.*
Lisa: The Great Jelly won't mind being eaten?
Blarg Alien: The Great Jelly's one purpose is to bring squishy cranberry goodness to the mouths of everyone it meets.
Lisa: Except the people whose bones it eats.
Blarg Alien: Look, we're crazy aliens who worship a cranberry monster. This was never going to make perfect sense.
Task: Make Homer Take a Bite Out of Jelly Monster
Time: 4h
Location: Humanity's Hope or Brown House
If the user has Jelly Monster: Task: Make Jelly Monster Be Happy
Time: 4h
Location: Humanity's Hope or Brown House
Blarg Alien: Now, oh Great Jelly, aboard our ship awaits your throne.
Blarg Alien: Which, funnily enough, we fashioned from the skulls of humans in the future after we wiped out their entire race, but they don't know that yet.
Jelly Monster: *waves goodbye*
Blarg Alien: We shall return to our time and planet, and we won't be back until we require more bones.
Blarg Alien: *attempts to start ship*
Blarg Alien: …
Blarg Alien: It's not starting. We're out of antimatter. Did nobody fill up when you stopped on Andromeda?
Jelly Monster: *facepalms*
Quest rewards: $200 and 20 XP
