Oktoberfest Promotion! ***WALKTHROUGH***
Gil Deal - September 30-October 2
Auto starts
Gil: According to my “Kill Yourself Tomorrow!” daily affirmation calendar, this week is Oktoberfest! Do you know what that means?
Uter: Ja! Oktoberfest is my favorite holiday. It combines ze gluttony of Thanksgiving with ze overeating of Halloween!
Gil: Here's a phrase ol' Gil's never heard: you're in luck! I've got fun German and beer-themed things, plus you get donuts back with every purchase.
Wiggum: German stuff, eh? Anything festive yet slimming for a police chief once voted both “Most Handsome” and “Most Likely to Doctor Superlative Results?”
Gil: I've got just the thing. It's in the store for a limited time!
Gil Deal - October 2-October 4
Auto starts
Gil: Not familiar with Oktoberfest? It's like S_t. Patrick's Day, except for multiple days! And…
Gil: ...with much better beer!
Tom O'Flannagan: Them be fightin' words! If I wasn't so drunk, I'd whoop ya like a not red-headed stepchild!
Gil Deal - October 4-October 6
Auto starts
Gil: It's the last day for Oktoberfest deals! And anything not sold might just vanish in one of Gil's classic insurance fires.
Gil Deal - Offer Declined
Gil: Not interested?
Gil: In me or the merchandise? Both? That's what everybody says...
Gil Deal - Offer Accepted
Gil: Congratulations on your purchase!
Gil: Now you can take advantage of Gil's limited time offer: buy one, get a second for the same cost as the first!
Gil: Twist my arm and I'll throw in a third for the exact cost of the first and second.
Coptoberfest Pt. 1
Auto starts
Lou: Chief, come on, we've had zero reported cases of underage drinking.
Beer Stein Wiggum: Drunk kids aren't dumb enough to just stumble around in public like drunk adults.
Beer Stein Wiggum: I need to look like them, think like them, and above all else - drink like them.
Lou: So you are going to get drunk and expense the police department for your Halloween costume again?
Beer Stein Wiggum: Once you pee in it, you can't return it. And I always pee in it.
Beer Stein Wiggum: Now stick to your job, Lou, and stop busting my chops just for breaking the law.
Task: Make Beer Stein Wiggum Drink Undercover
Time: 4h
If the user has Lou and Eddie:
Task: Make Lou (Reluctantly) Investigate (Bogus) Case
Task: Make Eddie (Reluctantly) Investigate (Bogus) Case
Time: 4h
Location: Police Station
Coptoberfest Pt. 2
Wiggum starts
Kearney: What do you want, freak?
Beer Stein Wiggum: I wanna hang out and drink with my fellow youths, as well as educate them as a peer about the dangers of drinking, as well as possibly arrest them. But honestly I can't tell if you're a youth.
Kearney: Depends. Not according to the DMV. But I'm technically a fetus according to Springfield Elementary's reading comprehension test.
Beer Stein Wiggum: I'll go straight to the source at Springfield Elementary! That's a great idea, Kearney!
Kearney: What is? You're talking in text bubbles, and I can't read.
Task: Make Beer Stein Wiggum Teach Kids to "Just Pour it Out"
If the user has Kearney: Task: Make Kearney Go To School
Time: 6h
Location: Springfield Elementary
Coptoberfest Pt. 3
Wiggum starts
Jimbo: Me and the other boys really liked your message and want to help spread the word!
Beer Stein Wiggum: That's great! Pressure from peers is a tried and true method of getting kids to stop harmful behaviors.
Dolph: We want to “Just Pour It Out” in front of everyone! But they won't let us buy beer at the store for the demonstration.
Beer Stein Wiggum: I've never been prouder to be an officer of the law – of course I'll buy you kids beer.
Dolph: Thanks Chief! We've got a lot of peers so get us a case.
Task: Make Beer Stein Wiggum Buy Beer for Bullies
Time: 12h
Location: Kwik-E-Mart
Coptoberfest Pt. 4
Wiggum starts
Jimbo: That was so *hic* successful, we want to spread the message to an *hic* even wider audience.
Beer Stein Wiggum: It's nice to see today's youth so excited that they can't even walk a straight line or keep from vomiting.
Dolph: A single beer isn't cutting it anymore, what with social media and whatever. The youth of today need something bigger, more impressive, something they can tap into.
Beer Stein Wiggum: You mean like a keg?
Dolph: I mean if you think that's the best idea, Officer Wiggum, let's do it. IPA this time. Don't cheap out.
Beer Stein Wiggum: Always happy to make the responsible choice. Mind holding my gun while I go inside?
Task: Make Beer Stein Wiggum Buy a Keg
Time: 12h
Location: Duff Brewery or Kwik-E-Mart
Round Up the Usual Suspects
If the user has Lou and Eddie, after completing Coptoberfest Pt. 4
Lou starts
Lou: Huh, another slow-walking streaker. It looks like there's an underage drinking problem after all.
Eddie: Want to round up the usual suspects?
Lou: Nah, let's just assume it was the Chief's fault.
Task: Make Lou Investigate the Case
Task: Make Eddie Investigate the Case
Time: 5m
Location: Police Station
Coptoberfest Pt. 5
(If the user has Lou and Eddie: After completing Round Up the Usual Suspects)
Wiggum starts
Lou: Well, Chief, we were wrong. There is a youth alcoholism problem.
Beer Stein Wiggum: Wiggum's right again! Once we find the source, boys, the first round's on me!
Eddie: Actually, it looks like the source is you. We're gonna have to arrest you.
Beer Stein Wiggum: Arrest me?! But I'm your Chief! There must be another punishment that lets me retain my dignity!
Lou: Fine. Eddie, hit him with the hose.
Task: Make Beer Stein Wiggum Roll Uncontrollably
Time: 1h
Auto starts
Gil: According to my “Kill Yourself Tomorrow!” daily affirmation calendar, this week is Oktoberfest! Do you know what that means?
Uter: Ja! Oktoberfest is my favorite holiday. It combines ze gluttony of Thanksgiving with ze overeating of Halloween!
Gil: Here's a phrase ol' Gil's never heard: you're in luck! I've got fun German and beer-themed things, plus you get donuts back with every purchase.
Wiggum: German stuff, eh? Anything festive yet slimming for a police chief once voted both “Most Handsome” and “Most Likely to Doctor Superlative Results?”
Gil: I've got just the thing. It's in the store for a limited time!
Gil Deal - October 2-October 4
Auto starts
Gil: Not familiar with Oktoberfest? It's like S_t. Patrick's Day, except for multiple days! And…
Gil: ...with much better beer!
Tom O'Flannagan: Them be fightin' words! If I wasn't so drunk, I'd whoop ya like a not red-headed stepchild!
Gil Deal - October 4-October 6
Auto starts
Gil: It's the last day for Oktoberfest deals! And anything not sold might just vanish in one of Gil's classic insurance fires.
Gil Deal - Offer Declined
Gil: Not interested?
Gil: In me or the merchandise? Both? That's what everybody says...
Gil Deal - Offer Accepted
Gil: Congratulations on your purchase!
Gil: Now you can take advantage of Gil's limited time offer: buy one, get a second for the same cost as the first!
Gil: Twist my arm and I'll throw in a third for the exact cost of the first and second.
Coptoberfest Pt. 1
Auto starts
Lou: Chief, come on, we've had zero reported cases of underage drinking.
Beer Stein Wiggum: Drunk kids aren't dumb enough to just stumble around in public like drunk adults.
Beer Stein Wiggum: I need to look like them, think like them, and above all else - drink like them.
Lou: So you are going to get drunk and expense the police department for your Halloween costume again?
Beer Stein Wiggum: Once you pee in it, you can't return it. And I always pee in it.
Beer Stein Wiggum: Now stick to your job, Lou, and stop busting my chops just for breaking the law.
Task: Make Beer Stein Wiggum Drink Undercover
Time: 4h
If the user has Lou and Eddie:
Task: Make Lou (Reluctantly) Investigate (Bogus) Case
Task: Make Eddie (Reluctantly) Investigate (Bogus) Case
Time: 4h
Location: Police Station
Coptoberfest Pt. 2
Wiggum starts
Kearney: What do you want, freak?
Beer Stein Wiggum: I wanna hang out and drink with my fellow youths, as well as educate them as a peer about the dangers of drinking, as well as possibly arrest them. But honestly I can't tell if you're a youth.
Kearney: Depends. Not according to the DMV. But I'm technically a fetus according to Springfield Elementary's reading comprehension test.
Beer Stein Wiggum: I'll go straight to the source at Springfield Elementary! That's a great idea, Kearney!
Kearney: What is? You're talking in text bubbles, and I can't read.
Task: Make Beer Stein Wiggum Teach Kids to "Just Pour it Out"
If the user has Kearney: Task: Make Kearney Go To School
Time: 6h
Location: Springfield Elementary
Coptoberfest Pt. 3
Wiggum starts
Jimbo: Me and the other boys really liked your message and want to help spread the word!
Beer Stein Wiggum: That's great! Pressure from peers is a tried and true method of getting kids to stop harmful behaviors.
Dolph: We want to “Just Pour It Out” in front of everyone! But they won't let us buy beer at the store for the demonstration.
Beer Stein Wiggum: I've never been prouder to be an officer of the law – of course I'll buy you kids beer.
Dolph: Thanks Chief! We've got a lot of peers so get us a case.
Task: Make Beer Stein Wiggum Buy Beer for Bullies
Time: 12h
Location: Kwik-E-Mart
Coptoberfest Pt. 4
Wiggum starts
Jimbo: That was so *hic* successful, we want to spread the message to an *hic* even wider audience.
Beer Stein Wiggum: It's nice to see today's youth so excited that they can't even walk a straight line or keep from vomiting.
Dolph: A single beer isn't cutting it anymore, what with social media and whatever. The youth of today need something bigger, more impressive, something they can tap into.
Beer Stein Wiggum: You mean like a keg?
Dolph: I mean if you think that's the best idea, Officer Wiggum, let's do it. IPA this time. Don't cheap out.
Beer Stein Wiggum: Always happy to make the responsible choice. Mind holding my gun while I go inside?
Task: Make Beer Stein Wiggum Buy a Keg
Time: 12h
Location: Duff Brewery or Kwik-E-Mart
Round Up the Usual Suspects
If the user has Lou and Eddie, after completing Coptoberfest Pt. 4
Lou starts
Lou: Huh, another slow-walking streaker. It looks like there's an underage drinking problem after all.
Eddie: Want to round up the usual suspects?
Lou: Nah, let's just assume it was the Chief's fault.
Task: Make Lou Investigate the Case
Task: Make Eddie Investigate the Case
Time: 5m
Location: Police Station
Coptoberfest Pt. 5
(If the user has Lou and Eddie: After completing Round Up the Usual Suspects)
Wiggum starts
Lou: Well, Chief, we were wrong. There is a youth alcoholism problem.
Beer Stein Wiggum: Wiggum's right again! Once we find the source, boys, the first round's on me!
Eddie: Actually, it looks like the source is you. We're gonna have to arrest you.
Beer Stein Wiggum: Arrest me?! But I'm your Chief! There must be another punishment that lets me retain my dignity!
Lou: Fine. Eddie, hit him with the hose.
Task: Make Beer Stein Wiggum Roll Uncontrollably
Time: 1h
