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8 years ago

"The Great Phatsby" Episode Tie-In: Walkthrough

Monogram Monty

Auto starts on January 11th

Smithers: It looks like somebody has the holiday blues!
Smithers: Maybe stuffing pink slips in your employees' stockings will cheer you up!
Mr. Burns: You're making it worse! It pains me that they can afford stockings, let alone have extras to hang for handouts from Uncle Santa!
Smithers: Maybe we should escape the holidays by going to your summer mansion on Lengthy Island.
Mr. Burns: A windswept beach haunted by the memories of bygone summers -- that's the perfect cure for Christmas cheer!

Task: Build Burns' Summer Mansion
Task: Make Burns Visit the Summer Mansion
Time: 6s
Location: Burns' Summer Mansion

Smithers: Still feeling blue, Mr. Burns?
Mr. Burns: Wandering the halls, listening to echoes of ancient parties, and looking at photos of long-dead friends hasn't given me quite the lift I expected.
Smithers: Well, I got the fountain working again. It turned out to be clogged with rotting cummerbunds.
Mr. Burns: In those days, every party ended in the fountain. You would have loved them -- they were gay affairs!
Mr. Burns: Not in the homosexual sense, mind you, but you would have enjoyed them nonetheless.
Smithers: Maybe throwing a party would cheer you up!
Mr. Burns: A splendid idea. Let's do it! But be careful about the date -- we don't want to compete with the come down from the Epiphanytide. Or the build-up to Candlemas.
System Message: Will Mr. Burns break out of his slump? Find out on The Simpsons - Sunday 8/7C on FOX!

Springfield Heights 8 Hour Job Intro

Auto starts on January 15th

Homer: *groan* It's taking forever to save up my Lattes.
Homer: I'd prefer to receive things the same way I collect my paycheck; asleep in my chair.
Lisa: Maybe if we could work longer for larger rewards it might be better?
Homer: Pfft, which idiots are you going to convince to work longer?
System Message: 8-hour Job Slots now available in Springfield Heights!
  • Gil Offer

    Gil starts

    Gil: Hey there, pal, isn't it time you stopped living like a pathetic nobody? Isn't it time you showed everyone who's the real playa in this game? Isn't it time for old Gil to stop living on a park bench?
    Gil: This mansion was custom built for legendary hip-hop producer Jay G.
    Gil: He's selling it due to a divorce caused by the events described in his wife's hit single, "Y'all Done Had a Sleazy Sex Party While I Was In the Hospital Having Your Baby."
    Gil: Whaddaya, say, Sport? Are you ready to step up to the bigs? Are you ready to take it to the hoop? Are you ready to pay Gil a 1% commission? I'm ready to take a whole lot less, if that'll seal the deal!

    https://tstotopix.files.wordpress.com/2017/01/the-great-phatsby-gil-deal.png?w=300

    Offer accepted:

    Gil: Ha-cha-cha! Old Gil is back on the dance floor and shaking a leg with sweet Lady Luck!
    Jay G: I've decided not to sell. Praline and I reconciled after we spent a romantic weekend together looking at lawyers' bills.
    Gil: But I already booked the sale! I used my commission to buy a cemetery plot in Scottsdale -- golf-course view. Old Gil could finally afford to die!
    Jay G: I'm afraid you've got to keep living, you sad old white man. I bought the real estate company and voided the sale -- that means you're behind your monthly sales quota!
    Gil: That's okay. I'll just start working the phones -- the first step is finding a payphone that takes I.O.U.'s.

    Offer declined:

    Gil: Ahh, geez. Looks like I'll be sleeping with Cookie Kwan again tonight. You know, on the bench with her ad on it.

    https://tstotopix.files.wordpress.com/2017/01/jaygsmansion_menu.png?w=150https://tstotopix.files.wordpress.com/2017/01/unlock_goosius.png?w=150
    Ruthless Rungs Pt. 1

    Mr. Burns starts

    Mr. Burns: Your rapacious grasping is inspiring, but to truly master the Ladder to Loot, you have to push others down as you pull yourself up.
    Jay G: So wise. Where do I begin, Monty Miyagi?
    Mr. Burns: Start with your own employees. You know what they say -- cruelty begins at home!

    Task: Make Burns Torment Power Plant Workers
    Time: 3h
    Location: Control Building
    Task: Make Jay G Be Mentored
    Time: 3h
    Location: Control Building

    Mr. Burns: Fear is the aspiring loot-o-crat's greatest tool. For example, spreading a rumor that you're going to downsize will motivate employees to both work harder and accept lower pay!
    Jay G: I like the ring of that rung, Monty! How'd you get to be so street?
    Mr. Burns: I'm a Springfield O.G. – octogenarian grouch.
    Jay G: Word.
    Mr. Burns: Two words, actually. But I take your point.

    Ruthless Rungs Pt. 2

    Mr. Burns starts

    Mr. Burns: The next rung is to realize that ruthlessness never rests. There are opportunities for malevolence in every situation... including a lovely dinner out with a friend.
    Jay G: What are you thinking, Monty? Should we stiff them on the tip? Run out on the check? Both?
    Mr. Burns: Excellent ideas, Jay. You're zooming up the ladder. And for an extra larf, we can harass the staff before we stiff them!

    Task: Make Burns & Jay G Harass the Wait Staff
    Time: 3h
    Location: Restaurants

    Mr. Burns: The waiter quit, the hostess cried, and the busboy tried to drown himself in his dish bucket -- I'd call that a successful evening!
    Jay G: To tell the truth, I felt a little bit sorry when the hostess started to cry, because I knew that sooner or later she was going to stop!
    Mr. Burns: Mocking your victims' suffering -- you've mastered another rung!

    Ruthless Rungs Pt. 3

    Mr. Burns starts

    Mr. Burns: It's important not to lose sight of the basics -- ruthlessness should be fun! If you're not having a good time at someone else's expense, you're doing it wrong!
    Jay G: How do you keep the evil popping when you're just hanging on the corner?
    Mr. Burns: A degrading jape is never more than a dollar away. Watch me manipulate the greed of someone less fortunate!

    Task: Make Burns & Jay G Glue Money to the Pavement
    Time: 3h
    Location: Control Building

    Mr. Burns: There -- right in the natural sight line of the broken down sidewalk-starer.
    Jay G: Here comes a sucker now. It looks like he's wearing Will Loman's hand-me-downs.
    Gil: A dollar! Holy moly -- this is the break I've been waiting for! Things are gonna turn around now!
    Gil: Ah, the old sidewalk-stickeroo. Should've known. Third time this week!

    Ruthless Rungs Pt. 4

    Mr. Burns starts

    Mr. Burns: Guiding you up these ruthless rungs has really tuckered me out. I barely have the strength to tent my fingers!
    Jay G: Let's go chill at my crib. You can rebuild your energy by terrorizing my staff.
    Mr. Burns: That sounds delightful. I'm really more of a tormentor than a mentor anyway.

    Task: Make Burns Go to Jay G's Mansion
    Time: 3h
    Location: Jay G's Mansion
    Task: Make Jay G Go to Jay G's Mansion
    Time: 3h
    Location: Jay G's Mansion

    Mr. Burns: Congratulations, Jay! You've reached the top rung of the Ladder to Loot! You're like the son I never had -- and far better than the son I did have but never see.
    Jay G: And you're like the father I never muscled out of his own record label and then framed for bank robbery.
    Mr. Burns: And now we must destroy each other.
    Jay G: I wouldn't have it any other way.