Treehouse of Horror XXVIII: Prizes Walkthrough
Tale of Two Mages Pt. 1
Lisa starts
Wizard Lisa: It's the first day of Magic Academy classes! Bart, don't forget to sharpen your wand and polish a toad for your teacher.
Bart: Listen, I'm magic's biggest fan but ANOTHER school!? Magic or not, I'll sit this one out.
Wizard Lisa: Come on, Bart, you don't want to miss orientation! They have a sorting sock that determines your future! AND that's when they hand out the owls!
Bart: I know my future – it's being awesome. But I guess I could pick up my owl then bail before lame spell casting classes start.
Task: Make Wizard Lisa Attend Orientation
Time: 4h
Location: Magic Academy
Task: Make Wizard Bart Attend Orientation
Time: 4h
Location: Magic Academy
Wizard Lisa: I got grouped with all the book worms and try-hards! I can't wait to out try-hard all of them!
Wizard Lisa: Where did you get assigned, Bart?
Wizard Bart: It booked me for a full year's worth of detention. I hate when schools automatically and correctly assume you're bad! It's not fair!
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Tale of Two Mages Pt. 2
Lisa starts
Wizard Lisa: It was so cool, Mom! We learned how to transform frogs into princes.
Wizard Lisa: And then we trained the princes not to eat flies. And then we all ate lunch.
Marge: That's great, sweetie. How was your day, Bart?
Wizard Bart: Lame! They're forcing me to retake the pre-Magic Academy classes. I didn't even get to cast a spell today!
Marge: I'm sure they just want to make sure you work at a rate you're comfortable with.
Wizard Bart: They're making me write the alphabet! Not even the magical alphabet. Just that stupid A, B, D one.
Task: Make Wizard Lisa Conduct a Magical Orchestra
Time: 8h
Task: Make Wizard Bart Shirk His ABCs
Time: 4h
Location: Bart's Treehouse
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Tale of Two Mages Pt. 3
Lisa starts
Wizard Lisa: I can't wait for exotic animal lessons today! I think we're learning how to adjust a dragon's flame.
Homer: Let me know when your dragon's BBQ lighting-ready and I'll have him over.
Wizard Bart: Forget this. I'm not sitting through another elixir mixing class. It's all in metric. I barely know the Imperial system!
Wizard Bart: Even though I hate tests, it's time for this prankster to put what he's learned to the test.
Task: Make Wizard Lisa Learn Dragon Etiquette
Time: 4h
Location: Magic Academy
Task: Make Wizard Bart Magically Pants Skinner
Time: 8h
Location: Springfield Elementary
Requires: Skinner
Skinner: Bart, report to my office this instant.
Wizard Bart: So, this is the part where I get expelled from the normie school by the dweeb principal?
Skinner: Due to your impressive, though humiliating, display of magical aptitude, we're enrolling you in dark arts. And may God have mercy on our souls.
Wizard Bart: Is that the one where the class paints a naked Willie?
Skinner: No. Parents shut that class down.
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Tale of Two Mages Pt. 4
Lisa starts
Wizard Bart: So, apparently there's also a “dark arts” side to magic. And I'm pretty good at it. Even heard the letter “A” being associated with me.
Wizard Bart: And it didn't have an “ss” coming after it!
Homer: Lisa, why can't you be more like your brother? He could become the first overlord warlock in this family!
Wizard Lisa: Of course, Bart's the prodigy at the one thing I've read and obsessed over my entire young adult life.
Task: Make Wizard Bart Exploit Powers
Time: 4h
Task: Make Wizard Lisa Practice Spells
Time: 4h
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Tale of Two Mages Pt. 5
Lisa starts
Wizard Lisa: I got a B- in Transfiguration?! Haven't I changed enough!
Wizard Bart: If you think you deserve an A, you should be able to turn it into one.
Wizard Lisa: You're right, Bart. Although it's against my moral code, I can Transfigure my B- into an A!
Wizard Bart: That's not what I meant. Wait. Stop! Why am I the smart, responsible one now?! I'm scared. I'm very scared!
Task: Make Wizard Bart Sneak Around Invisible
Time: 1h
Location: Springfield Elementary
Task: Make Wizard Lisa Try to Transfigure an A
Time: 1h
Location: Simpson House
Wizard Lisa: Darn! I can only manage a B+.
Homer: Lisa, we've got to get out of here! An invisible ghost is throwing chicken bones at me and calling me fat-wad all over the house!
Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP
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Pub Stomp Pt. 1
Auto starts
Lewd: Hey, this isn't my usual bar. And that means I can't tell the bartender I want “the usual”.
Lewd: His “the usual” might not be a drink but a slug upside the head.
Task: Capture Lewd
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Pub Stomp Pt. 2
Auto starts
Lewd: That's better. Now if only Crawl was here. He really knows how to bring the party.
Lewd: You can't spell party without C.R.A.W.L.!... At least I don't think so. I should look that up.
Task: Enchant Lewd
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Pub Stomp Pt. 3
Auto starts
Lewd: This is the bar for me. All it needs is a smidge of redecorating to cover up all the mold all over the place.
Task: Summon Lewd
Time: 4h
Location: Lewd's Bar
Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP
Monarch Mixtape
Auto starts
Lenny: Why don't you move this thing into your bar? Could drown out the rats.
Moe: Nah, they'd just gnaw and scream over it.
Moe: Besides, I hate everyone's taste in music. Even my own.
Lisa: It's beautiful, a reminder of how beautiful Equalia can be. If only our world could take a page from it.
Smithers: Ah, if only.
Task: Tap Royal MyPod
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Field of Fairy Dreams
Auto starts
Lisa: It's beautiful, a reminder of how beautiful Equalia can be. If only our world could take a page from it.
Smithers: Ah, if only.
Task: Tap Fairy Fields
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Music Automaton
Auto starts
Homer: C'mon, tell me the future.
Lisa: These models are meant to play music, not tell you the future.
Homer: If it has a slot for a quarter, it either has to have divine powers or spit out candy bars. That's the bottom line.
Task: Tap Music Automaton
Homer: There's no way I turn that into winning lottery number picks.
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Glitter Horn Pt. 1
Unicorn Wizard starts
Ralph: I want to ride the donkey with the pointy party hat!
Unicorn Wizard: How dare this small child insult me!
Unicorn Wizard: I am one of the highest-ranking members of the Merlinical Council, not some county fair sideshow.
Wiggum: Oo, a hot-headed horsey. I'll bet a sugar cube will mellow your melon.
Unicorn Wizard: I will not stoop so low to handouts. I can provide for myself.
Task: Make Unicorn Wizard Summon Sugar Cubes
Time: 8h
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Glitter Horn Pt. 2
Unicorn Wizard starts
Ralph: Hee-haw horsie! I want to toss a ring on your head horn!
Unicorn Wizard: Just because I have a horn, does not mean I'll submit to becoming a backyard ringtoss game!
Wiggum: But please say you don't rule out doing birthdays! And please say you're rated for fellas over 350 pounds!
Unicorn Wizard: Stay away! My horn is no party toy and I offer no pony rides. I just had back surgery! Beware my whinny!
Task: Make Unicorn Wizard Cast Glitter Hoof
Time: 4h
Quest reward: $200 and 10 XP
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Rock and Troll Pt. 1
Auto starts
Crawl: What the heck is this place? And where's the bar? No bar, means no mead.
Crawl: And no mead means... I gotta go to my troll home sober!
Task: Capture Crawl
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Rock and Troll Pt. 2
Auto starts
Crawl: Now THIS is more like it. And check it out, it's got a karaoke setup!
Crawl: You won't hear music or any other thing come out of anyone as sweet as what I spew.
Task: Enchant Crawl
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Rock and Troll Pt. 3
Auto starts
Crawl: Now that's music. Gotta be louder though. Hope none of the businesses around here mind me adding some extra speakers.
Crawl: I don't have cash, but I'm sure they'll accept crudely drawn I.O.U.'s.
Task: Summon Crawl
Time: 4h
Location: Crawl's Bar
Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP
Sand Noir
Auto starts
Wiggum: So, this is the scene of the crime. But no sign of evidence?
Wiggum: This is great news! We get to pack it up and go home. Another SPD success story!
Lou: But we did nothing, Chief. I got an idea where they stored the body though. It's going to take some folks to flip that giant sand timer over.
Task: Tap Suffoclock of Sandy Doom
Wiggum: Nice work, Lou. It's gonna be hard to gather evidence in these conditions and my never-ending quest to quit tells me to call it a day. Let's go grab some Krusty Burgers.
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Weapon of Mass Surveillance
Auto starts
Quimby: Use monies from my “Floozie” fund to hire some laborers to move this into my office.
Quimby: Better yet, just borrow an elephant from the city zoo and have the floozies meet me in my office as well.
Task: Tap Giant Crystal Ball
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Cauldron Craft Brew
Auto starts
Lenny: Wow, Barney. You look more smashed than usual. How many did you pound down tonight?
Barney: Just one! But it sure was tasty. It was also green! And then red, then green again.
Lenny: A Christmas-themed cocktail?
Barney: And I'm alive to tell you about it!
Lenny: You thinking what I'm thinking, Carl?
Carl: Yep. Bring on the holidays!
Task: Make Barflies Drink at Ye Old Magick Shoppe
Time: 4h
Location: Ye Olde Magick Shoppe
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Magic Mustache Pt. 1
Greystash starts
Greystash: Fear not, citizens of this small town! I, Greystash, will protect you from evil!
Lenny: Why are you talking like that, Homer?
Carl: Ya, Homer, I thought you hated all that magic mumbo-jumbo. But judging from yer outfit, you went full-blown bandwagon now.
Greystash: Who's Homer? Is he your plane's grand sorcerer?
Homer: Hey Lenny, hey Carl, hey Moe. Who's the guy with the goofball beard?
Homer: How ya doin', Presto-Chango? I'm Homer.
Task: Make Greystash Have a Beer
Time: 4h
Location: Moe's Tavern
Greystash: Homer, based on what I've heard, I believe that we are in fact the same person. But also, not the same person.
Homer: Please don't blow my mind with talk before I blow my mind with beer.
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Magic Mustache Pt. 2
Greystash starts
Greystash: What I'm saying is, we both have the same body. But, how we arrived to who we are now, completely different paths.
Homer: So you're future me? Then I will speak to you in future talk. Gleep-glorp-gleep.
Greystash: No. Did you pay attention to anything I just said? We come from completely different parents.
Homer: I'll trade you my dad for yours.
Greystash: I don't need to be from the future to know that's a bad deal.
Homer: Then at least give me some wizard skills like you.
Task: Make Greystash Answer So Many Questions
Time: 4h
Location: Moe's Tavern
Greystash: I don't know if you can grow a mustache like mine. I'm not even sure you have a beard right now!
Homer: You've heard of a five o'clock shadow? This is a full eclipse of my face!
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Magic Mustache Pt. 3
Greystash starts
Homer: So why can't I do any of the amazingly magical things you do?
Homer: Especially your ability to grow that impressive cookie-duster of a mustache! *whimpers* I've lost so many cookie crumbs in my life.
Greystash: This moustache is the key to all my powers. Shall I demonstrate?
Task: Make Greystash Use Mustache Magic
Time: 4h
Homer: It flows so gracefully in the wind. So majestic! So magnificent! I can't look away.
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Magic Mustache Pt. 4
Greystash starts
Greystash: So, you've got a mystical beast problem? Those are the worst. This is going to take some extra mustache wax.
Lisa: You'll help us? That's great! Hop on a broom, I'll take you to them!
Greystash: Sorry, I don't do brooms anymore. Now that they have breathalyzers onboard.
Lisa: You are SO much like my father.
Greystash: Don't worry. I have my own means of transportation.
Task: Make Greystash Try Phoenix Flight
Time: 8h
Greystash: On second thought, I'll just hoof it.
Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP
---------------------------
Three Heads, No Brain Pt. 1
Auto starts on October 24th
Bully-vern: You thought three angst driven teens was bad? Try putting all those hormones into one body.
Bully-vern: Now imagine that one body is a dragon. Not fun for anyone.
Task: Place Bully-Vern Cave
Task: Capture Bully-Vern
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Three Heads, No Brain Pt. 2
Auto starts
Bully-vern Dolph: Hey, quit bogarting the whole cave!
Bully-vern Jimbo: You're the one scarfin' too much of the cave!
Bully-vern Kearney: You move!
Bully-vern Dolph: No, you move! *breaths fire*
Objectives
Task: Enchant Bully-Vern
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Three Heads, No Brain Pt. 3
Auto starts
Bully-vern: It almost feels like home.
Bully-vern: All it needs now is three teenagers' worth of hellish, rotten stench.
Task: Summon Bully-Vern
Time: 4h
Location: Bully-Vern's Cave
Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP
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The Party Troll Pt. 1
Auto starts
Barfy: Barfy is here to par-*burp*-ty!
Barfy: I'm the triple-size guy you don't want to show up at your BBQ, or family gathering!
Task: Capture Barfy
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
The Party Troll Pt. 2
Auto starts
Barfy: That's never happened before. All this booze is making me hungry.
Barfy: Does anybody around here know where I can get a twelve-foot-long sub?
Task: Enchant Barfy
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
The Party Troll Pt. 3
Auto starts
Barfy: Oh no! The tap is empty. Time for a beer run.
Barfy: This would be a lot easier if I could fit in a car and drive somewhere. Maybe someone has a hay wagon they could tow me in?
Task: Summon Barfy
Time: 4h
Location: Barfy's Bar
Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP
Skinner Box-Kite
Auto starts
Bart: That box kite is a perfect depiction of Principal Skinner. A big square!
Bart: And oddly mesmerizing to watch.
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Supervisor Snake Pt. 1
Slithers starts
Slithers: Sir, you want to DOUBLE the magical essence output of the plant?!
Lord Montymort: That's right, Slithers. And don't give me any of that, “But the workers have no essence left to suck”, hogwash.
Slithers: I'll see to it that the employees start putting in some essence overtime.
Lord Montymort: Very good, Slithers. And what's going on with your stomach, it's deeply disturbing.
Slithers: Oh, that little guy? Don't worry. He'll soon be digested into a milky mush.
Task: Make Slithers Digest Last Week's Meal
Time: 8h
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Supervisor Snake Pt. 2
Slithers starts
Slithers: Attention, plant workers. We're behind on magical essence sucking quota. Each of you must submit one essence sample by end of day.
Lenny: And what if we don't want to give up any essence? The union rules haven't even caught up to this event yet!
Slithers: Either submit a sample, or become my next meal.
Carl: Oo, the plant offers a meal plan now!
Slithers: Yes, it includes being conscious for days while my stomach acids dissolve you. Headfirst or feet first, employee choice.
Task: Make Slithers Intimidate Workers
Time: 1h
Location: Control Building or Brown House
Task: Make Plant Workers Submit Essence Samples
Time: 4h
Location: Control Building or Brown House
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Supervisor Snake Pt. 3
Slithers starts
Slithers: *sigh* What am I even doing? I work hard to impress him. But no matter how hard I try, he'll never see me for the snake I really am.
Lisa: Maybe if he saw who you are on the inside...
Slithers: That's a wonderful idea! After my next shedding, he'll see who I really am underneath!
Lisa: That's gross, and taking what I said way too literal.
Task: Make Slithers Come Out of Scales
Time: 4h
Lord Montymort: Slithers, where are you with that essence quota?
Lord Montymort: My god, he's a dehydrated husk! Nothing remains but some flimsy leftovers.
Lord Montymort: While I acquire another assistant from the anthropomorphic rescue, I'll make a fine belt out of Slithers.
Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP
Radioactive Snowbird
Auto starts
Mr. Burns: Smithers! This ghastly draft is causing my feet to numb. I'd swear I lost a toe or two, but I can't remember how many I had left to begin with.
Smithers: I'm sorry, sir. Perhaps we can relocate you to a warmer office temporarily?
Task: Make Burns Warm up Feet
Time: 4h
Location: Control Building
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Old School Vamp Pt. 1
Count Dracula starts
Count Dracula: Springfield, I've come to suck some blood. By my doctor's orders, the low cholesterol variety.
Count Dracula: When darkness falls, I shall leech from the wayward sheep who wander from their flock.
Homer: Good luck with that. I haven't seen the sun go down in Springfield for a while. Or anything below my waist since high school.
Count Dracula: If I have no choice, then I must. It is my curse to bear.
Task: Make Count Dracula Live With His Burden
Time: 4h
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Old School Vamp Pt. 2
Count Dracula starts
Count Dracula: Excuse me, sir, would you happen to have some blood to donate?
Dr. Hibbert: You must be confused. You give us the blood. We give you a cookie.
Count Dracula: I don't want a cookie! I want blood.
Dr. Hibbert: Well, donations have been on the decline. Find us more donors, and maybe a blood pack or two could fall off the back of the Bloodmobile.
Task: Place Bloodmobile
Task: Make Count Dracula Play a Tune
Time: 8h
Task: Make Count Dracula Accept Donations
Time: 12h
Location: Bloodmobile
Quest reward: $200 and 10 XP
---------------------------
The Sorcerer's Life Sentence Pt. 1
Lord Montymort starts
Lord Montymort: It's outrageous that I now must spend the rest of my days in this forsaken town.
Lord Montymort: I was so close to domination too, if it wasn't for those blasted kids.
Lord Montymort: And maybe the giant mystical beasts. Worst of all, I must sit here and listen to their insults and catcalls.
Homer: Montymort, Montymort... his face is wrinkled, his temper short! *laughs*
Task: Make Lord Montymort Shield From Haters
Time: 4h
Location: Magic Academy Ruins
Task: Make Homer Make Fun of Montymort
Time: 4h
Location: Magic Academy Ruins
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
The Sorcerer's Life Sentence Pt. 2
Lord Montymort starts
Lord Montymort: Please, I beg of you, cut my sentence down!
Quimby: You sent giant monsters to destroy our city. And then, you threatened to enslave and suck the essence out of every citizen…
Quimby: And you're asking us to go easy on your sentence?
Lord Montymort: I promise to be on my best behavior. I'll even refrain from killing your “Ray Ban”-ed body guards every week.
Task: Make Lord Montymort Serve Life Sentence
Time: 24h
Location: Springfield Penitentiary
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
The Sorcerer's Life Sentence Pt. 3
Lord Montymort starts
Wiggum: Alright, Montymort, you're getting let loose early.
Lord Montymort: Excellent! Three life sentences done in record time. I have several more lives to return to my magic.
Wiggum: Forget the magic stuff. We're switching you to community service. Get yourself a shovel and the biggest bucket you can find.
Wiggum: Those beasts have exceptional bowels and no respect for a police chief's lawn.
Task: Make Lord Montymort Clean Mystical Beast Lairs
Time: 4h
Location: Kearneymon's Alley, Lewd's Bar, Crawl's Bar, Barfy's Bar, Wiggops' Station, Bully-vern's Cave or Burns Dragon's Pile of Treasure
Lord Montymort: Hm, I can see why the best ending for a villain is a coward's death.
Homer: Montymort?! More like… PANTYmort! A ladybug is more evil than you!
Lord Montymort: If only I still had a coward's chance.
Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP
Lisa starts
Wizard Lisa: It's the first day of Magic Academy classes! Bart, don't forget to sharpen your wand and polish a toad for your teacher.
Bart: Listen, I'm magic's biggest fan but ANOTHER school!? Magic or not, I'll sit this one out.
Wizard Lisa: Come on, Bart, you don't want to miss orientation! They have a sorting sock that determines your future! AND that's when they hand out the owls!
Bart: I know my future – it's being awesome. But I guess I could pick up my owl then bail before lame spell casting classes start.
Task: Make Wizard Lisa Attend Orientation
Time: 4h
Location: Magic Academy
Task: Make Wizard Bart Attend Orientation
Time: 4h
Location: Magic Academy
Wizard Lisa: I got grouped with all the book worms and try-hards! I can't wait to out try-hard all of them!
Wizard Lisa: Where did you get assigned, Bart?
Wizard Bart: It booked me for a full year's worth of detention. I hate when schools automatically and correctly assume you're bad! It's not fair!
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Tale of Two Mages Pt. 2
Lisa starts
Wizard Lisa: It was so cool, Mom! We learned how to transform frogs into princes.
Wizard Lisa: And then we trained the princes not to eat flies. And then we all ate lunch.
Marge: That's great, sweetie. How was your day, Bart?
Wizard Bart: Lame! They're forcing me to retake the pre-Magic Academy classes. I didn't even get to cast a spell today!
Marge: I'm sure they just want to make sure you work at a rate you're comfortable with.
Wizard Bart: They're making me write the alphabet! Not even the magical alphabet. Just that stupid A, B, D one.
Task: Make Wizard Lisa Conduct a Magical Orchestra
Time: 8h
Task: Make Wizard Bart Shirk His ABCs
Time: 4h
Location: Bart's Treehouse
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Tale of Two Mages Pt. 3
Lisa starts
Wizard Lisa: I can't wait for exotic animal lessons today! I think we're learning how to adjust a dragon's flame.
Homer: Let me know when your dragon's BBQ lighting-ready and I'll have him over.
Wizard Bart: Forget this. I'm not sitting through another elixir mixing class. It's all in metric. I barely know the Imperial system!
Wizard Bart: Even though I hate tests, it's time for this prankster to put what he's learned to the test.
Task: Make Wizard Lisa Learn Dragon Etiquette
Time: 4h
Location: Magic Academy
Task: Make Wizard Bart Magically Pants Skinner
Time: 8h
Location: Springfield Elementary
Requires: Skinner
Skinner: Bart, report to my office this instant.
Wizard Bart: So, this is the part where I get expelled from the normie school by the dweeb principal?
Skinner: Due to your impressive, though humiliating, display of magical aptitude, we're enrolling you in dark arts. And may God have mercy on our souls.
Wizard Bart: Is that the one where the class paints a naked Willie?
Skinner: No. Parents shut that class down.
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Tale of Two Mages Pt. 4
Lisa starts
Wizard Bart: So, apparently there's also a “dark arts” side to magic. And I'm pretty good at it. Even heard the letter “A” being associated with me.
Wizard Bart: And it didn't have an “ss” coming after it!
Homer: Lisa, why can't you be more like your brother? He could become the first overlord warlock in this family!
Wizard Lisa: Of course, Bart's the prodigy at the one thing I've read and obsessed over my entire young adult life.
Task: Make Wizard Bart Exploit Powers
Time: 4h
Task: Make Wizard Lisa Practice Spells
Time: 4h
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Tale of Two Mages Pt. 5
Lisa starts
Wizard Lisa: I got a B- in Transfiguration?! Haven't I changed enough!
Wizard Bart: If you think you deserve an A, you should be able to turn it into one.
Wizard Lisa: You're right, Bart. Although it's against my moral code, I can Transfigure my B- into an A!
Wizard Bart: That's not what I meant. Wait. Stop! Why am I the smart, responsible one now?! I'm scared. I'm very scared!
Task: Make Wizard Bart Sneak Around Invisible
Time: 1h
Location: Springfield Elementary
Task: Make Wizard Lisa Try to Transfigure an A
Time: 1h
Location: Simpson House
Wizard Lisa: Darn! I can only manage a B+.
Homer: Lisa, we've got to get out of here! An invisible ghost is throwing chicken bones at me and calling me fat-wad all over the house!
Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP
---------------------------
Pub Stomp Pt. 1
Auto starts
Lewd: Hey, this isn't my usual bar. And that means I can't tell the bartender I want “the usual”.
Lewd: His “the usual” might not be a drink but a slug upside the head.
Task: Capture Lewd
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Pub Stomp Pt. 2
Auto starts
Lewd: That's better. Now if only Crawl was here. He really knows how to bring the party.
Lewd: You can't spell party without C.R.A.W.L.!... At least I don't think so. I should look that up.
Task: Enchant Lewd
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Pub Stomp Pt. 3
Auto starts
Lewd: This is the bar for me. All it needs is a smidge of redecorating to cover up all the mold all over the place.
Task: Summon Lewd
Time: 4h
Location: Lewd's Bar
Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP
Monarch Mixtape
Auto starts
Lenny: Why don't you move this thing into your bar? Could drown out the rats.
Moe: Nah, they'd just gnaw and scream over it.
Moe: Besides, I hate everyone's taste in music. Even my own.
Lisa: It's beautiful, a reminder of how beautiful Equalia can be. If only our world could take a page from it.
Smithers: Ah, if only.
Task: Tap Royal MyPod
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Field of Fairy Dreams
Auto starts
Lisa: It's beautiful, a reminder of how beautiful Equalia can be. If only our world could take a page from it.
Smithers: Ah, if only.
Task: Tap Fairy Fields
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Music Automaton
Auto starts
Homer: C'mon, tell me the future.
Lisa: These models are meant to play music, not tell you the future.
Homer: If it has a slot for a quarter, it either has to have divine powers or spit out candy bars. That's the bottom line.
Task: Tap Music Automaton
Homer: There's no way I turn that into winning lottery number picks.
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Glitter Horn Pt. 1
Unicorn Wizard starts
Ralph: I want to ride the donkey with the pointy party hat!
Unicorn Wizard: How dare this small child insult me!
Unicorn Wizard: I am one of the highest-ranking members of the Merlinical Council, not some county fair sideshow.
Wiggum: Oo, a hot-headed horsey. I'll bet a sugar cube will mellow your melon.
Unicorn Wizard: I will not stoop so low to handouts. I can provide for myself.
Task: Make Unicorn Wizard Summon Sugar Cubes
Time: 8h
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Glitter Horn Pt. 2
Unicorn Wizard starts
Ralph: Hee-haw horsie! I want to toss a ring on your head horn!
Unicorn Wizard: Just because I have a horn, does not mean I'll submit to becoming a backyard ringtoss game!
Wiggum: But please say you don't rule out doing birthdays! And please say you're rated for fellas over 350 pounds!
Unicorn Wizard: Stay away! My horn is no party toy and I offer no pony rides. I just had back surgery! Beware my whinny!
Task: Make Unicorn Wizard Cast Glitter Hoof
Time: 4h
Quest reward: $200 and 10 XP
------------------------------------------
Rock and Troll Pt. 1
Auto starts
Crawl: What the heck is this place? And where's the bar? No bar, means no mead.
Crawl: And no mead means... I gotta go to my troll home sober!
Task: Capture Crawl
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Rock and Troll Pt. 2
Auto starts
Crawl: Now THIS is more like it. And check it out, it's got a karaoke setup!
Crawl: You won't hear music or any other thing come out of anyone as sweet as what I spew.
Task: Enchant Crawl
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Rock and Troll Pt. 3
Auto starts
Crawl: Now that's music. Gotta be louder though. Hope none of the businesses around here mind me adding some extra speakers.
Crawl: I don't have cash, but I'm sure they'll accept crudely drawn I.O.U.'s.
Task: Summon Crawl
Time: 4h
Location: Crawl's Bar
Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP
Sand Noir
Auto starts
Wiggum: So, this is the scene of the crime. But no sign of evidence?
Wiggum: This is great news! We get to pack it up and go home. Another SPD success story!
Lou: But we did nothing, Chief. I got an idea where they stored the body though. It's going to take some folks to flip that giant sand timer over.
Task: Tap Suffoclock of Sandy Doom
Wiggum: Nice work, Lou. It's gonna be hard to gather evidence in these conditions and my never-ending quest to quit tells me to call it a day. Let's go grab some Krusty Burgers.
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Weapon of Mass Surveillance
Auto starts
Quimby: Use monies from my “Floozie” fund to hire some laborers to move this into my office.
Quimby: Better yet, just borrow an elephant from the city zoo and have the floozies meet me in my office as well.
Task: Tap Giant Crystal Ball
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Cauldron Craft Brew
Auto starts
Lenny: Wow, Barney. You look more smashed than usual. How many did you pound down tonight?
Barney: Just one! But it sure was tasty. It was also green! And then red, then green again.
Lenny: A Christmas-themed cocktail?
Barney: And I'm alive to tell you about it!
Lenny: You thinking what I'm thinking, Carl?
Carl: Yep. Bring on the holidays!
Task: Make Barflies Drink at Ye Old Magick Shoppe
Time: 4h
Location: Ye Olde Magick Shoppe
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Magic Mustache Pt. 1
Greystash starts
Greystash: Fear not, citizens of this small town! I, Greystash, will protect you from evil!
Lenny: Why are you talking like that, Homer?
Carl: Ya, Homer, I thought you hated all that magic mumbo-jumbo. But judging from yer outfit, you went full-blown bandwagon now.
Greystash: Who's Homer? Is he your plane's grand sorcerer?
Homer: Hey Lenny, hey Carl, hey Moe. Who's the guy with the goofball beard?
Homer: How ya doin', Presto-Chango? I'm Homer.
Task: Make Greystash Have a Beer
Time: 4h
Location: Moe's Tavern
Greystash: Homer, based on what I've heard, I believe that we are in fact the same person. But also, not the same person.
Homer: Please don't blow my mind with talk before I blow my mind with beer.
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Magic Mustache Pt. 2
Greystash starts
Greystash: What I'm saying is, we both have the same body. But, how we arrived to who we are now, completely different paths.
Homer: So you're future me? Then I will speak to you in future talk. Gleep-glorp-gleep.
Greystash: No. Did you pay attention to anything I just said? We come from completely different parents.
Homer: I'll trade you my dad for yours.
Greystash: I don't need to be from the future to know that's a bad deal.
Homer: Then at least give me some wizard skills like you.
Task: Make Greystash Answer So Many Questions
Time: 4h
Location: Moe's Tavern
Greystash: I don't know if you can grow a mustache like mine. I'm not even sure you have a beard right now!
Homer: You've heard of a five o'clock shadow? This is a full eclipse of my face!
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Magic Mustache Pt. 3
Greystash starts
Homer: So why can't I do any of the amazingly magical things you do?
Homer: Especially your ability to grow that impressive cookie-duster of a mustache! *whimpers* I've lost so many cookie crumbs in my life.
Greystash: This moustache is the key to all my powers. Shall I demonstrate?
Task: Make Greystash Use Mustache Magic
Time: 4h
Homer: It flows so gracefully in the wind. So majestic! So magnificent! I can't look away.
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Magic Mustache Pt. 4
Greystash starts
Greystash: So, you've got a mystical beast problem? Those are the worst. This is going to take some extra mustache wax.
Lisa: You'll help us? That's great! Hop on a broom, I'll take you to them!
Greystash: Sorry, I don't do brooms anymore. Now that they have breathalyzers onboard.
Lisa: You are SO much like my father.
Greystash: Don't worry. I have my own means of transportation.
Task: Make Greystash Try Phoenix Flight
Time: 8h
Greystash: On second thought, I'll just hoof it.
Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP
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Three Heads, No Brain Pt. 1
Auto starts on October 24th
Bully-vern: You thought three angst driven teens was bad? Try putting all those hormones into one body.
Bully-vern: Now imagine that one body is a dragon. Not fun for anyone.
Task: Place Bully-Vern Cave
Task: Capture Bully-Vern
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Three Heads, No Brain Pt. 2
Auto starts
Bully-vern Dolph: Hey, quit bogarting the whole cave!
Bully-vern Jimbo: You're the one scarfin' too much of the cave!
Bully-vern Kearney: You move!
Bully-vern Dolph: No, you move! *breaths fire*
Objectives
Task: Enchant Bully-Vern
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Three Heads, No Brain Pt. 3
Auto starts
Bully-vern: It almost feels like home.
Bully-vern: All it needs now is three teenagers' worth of hellish, rotten stench.
Task: Summon Bully-Vern
Time: 4h
Location: Bully-Vern's Cave
Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP
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The Party Troll Pt. 1
Auto starts
Barfy: Barfy is here to par-*burp*-ty!
Barfy: I'm the triple-size guy you don't want to show up at your BBQ, or family gathering!
Task: Capture Barfy
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
The Party Troll Pt. 2
Auto starts
Barfy: That's never happened before. All this booze is making me hungry.
Barfy: Does anybody around here know where I can get a twelve-foot-long sub?
Task: Enchant Barfy
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
The Party Troll Pt. 3
Auto starts
Barfy: Oh no! The tap is empty. Time for a beer run.
Barfy: This would be a lot easier if I could fit in a car and drive somewhere. Maybe someone has a hay wagon they could tow me in?
Task: Summon Barfy
Time: 4h
Location: Barfy's Bar
Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP
Skinner Box-Kite
Auto starts
Bart: That box kite is a perfect depiction of Principal Skinner. A big square!
Bart: And oddly mesmerizing to watch.
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Supervisor Snake Pt. 1
Slithers starts
Slithers: Sir, you want to DOUBLE the magical essence output of the plant?!
Lord Montymort: That's right, Slithers. And don't give me any of that, “But the workers have no essence left to suck”, hogwash.
Slithers: I'll see to it that the employees start putting in some essence overtime.
Lord Montymort: Very good, Slithers. And what's going on with your stomach, it's deeply disturbing.
Slithers: Oh, that little guy? Don't worry. He'll soon be digested into a milky mush.
Task: Make Slithers Digest Last Week's Meal
Time: 8h
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Supervisor Snake Pt. 2
Slithers starts
Slithers: Attention, plant workers. We're behind on magical essence sucking quota. Each of you must submit one essence sample by end of day.
Lenny: And what if we don't want to give up any essence? The union rules haven't even caught up to this event yet!
Slithers: Either submit a sample, or become my next meal.
Carl: Oo, the plant offers a meal plan now!
Slithers: Yes, it includes being conscious for days while my stomach acids dissolve you. Headfirst or feet first, employee choice.
Task: Make Slithers Intimidate Workers
Time: 1h
Location: Control Building or Brown House
Task: Make Plant Workers Submit Essence Samples
Time: 4h
Location: Control Building or Brown House
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Supervisor Snake Pt. 3
Slithers starts
Slithers: *sigh* What am I even doing? I work hard to impress him. But no matter how hard I try, he'll never see me for the snake I really am.
Lisa: Maybe if he saw who you are on the inside...
Slithers: That's a wonderful idea! After my next shedding, he'll see who I really am underneath!
Lisa: That's gross, and taking what I said way too literal.
Task: Make Slithers Come Out of Scales
Time: 4h
Lord Montymort: Slithers, where are you with that essence quota?
Lord Montymort: My god, he's a dehydrated husk! Nothing remains but some flimsy leftovers.
Lord Montymort: While I acquire another assistant from the anthropomorphic rescue, I'll make a fine belt out of Slithers.
Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP
Radioactive Snowbird
Auto starts
Mr. Burns: Smithers! This ghastly draft is causing my feet to numb. I'd swear I lost a toe or two, but I can't remember how many I had left to begin with.
Smithers: I'm sorry, sir. Perhaps we can relocate you to a warmer office temporarily?
Task: Make Burns Warm up Feet
Time: 4h
Location: Control Building
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Old School Vamp Pt. 1
Count Dracula starts
Count Dracula: Springfield, I've come to suck some blood. By my doctor's orders, the low cholesterol variety.
Count Dracula: When darkness falls, I shall leech from the wayward sheep who wander from their flock.
Homer: Good luck with that. I haven't seen the sun go down in Springfield for a while. Or anything below my waist since high school.
Count Dracula: If I have no choice, then I must. It is my curse to bear.
Task: Make Count Dracula Live With His Burden
Time: 4h
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Old School Vamp Pt. 2
Count Dracula starts
Count Dracula: Excuse me, sir, would you happen to have some blood to donate?
Dr. Hibbert: You must be confused. You give us the blood. We give you a cookie.
Count Dracula: I don't want a cookie! I want blood.
Dr. Hibbert: Well, donations have been on the decline. Find us more donors, and maybe a blood pack or two could fall off the back of the Bloodmobile.
Task: Place Bloodmobile
Task: Make Count Dracula Play a Tune
Time: 8h
Task: Make Count Dracula Accept Donations
Time: 12h
Location: Bloodmobile
Quest reward: $200 and 10 XP
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The Sorcerer's Life Sentence Pt. 1
Lord Montymort starts
Lord Montymort: It's outrageous that I now must spend the rest of my days in this forsaken town.
Lord Montymort: I was so close to domination too, if it wasn't for those blasted kids.
Lord Montymort: And maybe the giant mystical beasts. Worst of all, I must sit here and listen to their insults and catcalls.
Homer: Montymort, Montymort... his face is wrinkled, his temper short! *laughs*
Task: Make Lord Montymort Shield From Haters
Time: 4h
Location: Magic Academy Ruins
Task: Make Homer Make Fun of Montymort
Time: 4h
Location: Magic Academy Ruins
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
The Sorcerer's Life Sentence Pt. 2
Lord Montymort starts
Lord Montymort: Please, I beg of you, cut my sentence down!
Quimby: You sent giant monsters to destroy our city. And then, you threatened to enslave and suck the essence out of every citizen…
Quimby: And you're asking us to go easy on your sentence?
Lord Montymort: I promise to be on my best behavior. I'll even refrain from killing your “Ray Ban”-ed body guards every week.
Task: Make Lord Montymort Serve Life Sentence
Time: 24h
Location: Springfield Penitentiary
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
The Sorcerer's Life Sentence Pt. 3
Lord Montymort starts
Wiggum: Alright, Montymort, you're getting let loose early.
Lord Montymort: Excellent! Three life sentences done in record time. I have several more lives to return to my magic.
Wiggum: Forget the magic stuff. We're switching you to community service. Get yourself a shovel and the biggest bucket you can find.
Wiggum: Those beasts have exceptional bowels and no respect for a police chief's lawn.
Task: Make Lord Montymort Clean Mystical Beast Lairs
Time: 4h
Location: Kearneymon's Alley, Lewd's Bar, Crawl's Bar, Barfy's Bar, Wiggops' Station, Bully-vern's Cave or Burns Dragon's Pile of Treasure
Lord Montymort: Hm, I can see why the best ending for a villain is a coward's death.
Homer: Montymort?! More like… PANTYmort! A ladybug is more evil than you!
Lord Montymort: If only I still had a coward's chance.
Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP
