I've had this exact problem, I'm running races at around 105 AI and for quali lowering it to 103/104.
During the races I'm just getting killed on the straights, at Imola I easily lose a second down the start/finish straight, and I'm running setups that all the setup guides/websites suggest to run.
The wet is another issue entirely, but I feel like the AI just need tuning back a tad just to make it more equal, if it's unlimited ERS, exit grip whatever.
Seem to remember this was an issue in F1 2019 aswell when they would just have such an advantage, once it got patched then the racing was a lot more fun