Complete Stat Reset?

Keyword, complete.  I'm well aware of the silly Premium reset feature that really doesn't do anything.  I was just wondering if it's possible to contact EA in some way to perform a complete stat wipe (mainly to get rid of weapon stats and unlocks).  I'm max rank, and I'm the kind of person that needs something dangled in front of him in order to keep playing, which I currently don't have (unfortunately).  I can feel myself getting more and more reluctant to play the game, which is sad, because I think it's excellent (doesn't quite overthrow Bad Company 2 though, if you ask me), but I grow tired of each session very quickly.  Knowing myself, this would not be a problem if I could simply create another soldier as I could in BC2 (that was great, by the way) and just start over, re-unlock stuff, etc. etc.  I know this request will seem silly and/or absurd to some, but to me, this is the difference in whether or not I continue to play BF3 until the launch of BF4.  So, EA, help me out here, if at all possible.

EDIT: I've done a bit more research, and have come to the conclusion that this wasn't really the best place to ask for what I want.  So, yeah, thread closed.