Apex is un-playable and i tell why.

First, just an aside: No other game modes interest you except ranked? No pubs? No mixtape? No Wildcard or Bots?

Okay, so it's all about the rank grind. I definitely get the whole "getting older, slowing down thing." That's been me since I started gaming in middle age twenty-five years ago. The rank grind I don't get so much. I always hated bleeding out my eyeballs for a badge that says, "You are slightly less than mediocre." Obviously diamond is not "less than mediocre," but I'm not sure the actual rank has any real meaning. What matters is THE WALL. You've hit yours at D4 and that seems to be that, and that's nothing to sneeze at, especially as a solo player.

So I guess what I'm wondering is why you haven't done what every other player seems to do whenever they hit one of the many walls this game presents. And that's start a new account and re-grind to your heart's content. Try not to push too hard and you might find that you can go for quite a while before you hit the matchmaking wall again. Assuming you want a higher k/d more than you want some specific rank. I'm pretty sure that most players these days are starting a new account every season. Some probably more often than that. You can't beat 'em. You may as well join 'em.